


It Started With A Sandwich

by RebelWithHeartofGold



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Asexual Nolan, Barista Nolan, Barista Theo, Bisexual Hayden, Bisexual Liam, But also Gabe becomes nice after a while, Depression, Derek Hale - Freeform, Enemies to Lovers, Gabe Is An Asshole, Gay Corey, Gay Mason, Lacrosse college player Liam, Liam goes to college, Liam is 20, M/M, Malia Hale - Freeform, Manager Nolan, Manager Theo, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Nolan, Sadness and grief, Theo is 24, Theo never went to college, death of Theo's sister, demisexual Nolan, gay theo, lydia martin - Freeform, scott McCall - Freeform, stiles stilinski - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-01-10 22:11:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 59,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12308856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelWithHeartofGold/pseuds/RebelWithHeartofGold
Summary: Theo owns a bakery slash cafe with his best friend, Nolan. They've been through a lot together and are healing from their past mistakes. Theo meets Liam, an asshole with anger issues and a short fuse ready to explode. Theo hates him at first but they become closer and form a deep profound bond.





	1. When I First Met You: August-September, 2017

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS  
> -Depression  
> -Nightmares  
> -Panic Attacks  
> -Physical Abuse (flashbacks unless stated)  
> -etc.  
> Before each chapter I'll mention trigger warnings or warnings in general.  
> If there are any errors in this PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND ILL FIX IT.  
> Thank you, love you all

Theo is in a rush, he accidentally over slept and forgot to brush his teeth. Fuck, he can just make sure to get some mint gum from Nolan. He hopes Nolan already opened up his shop and got at least the pastries and bread ready and on display. Fuck he knew he shouldn't have stayed up watching Games of Thrones. He rushes and speeds up, possibly breaking a lot of laws and quickly parks his truck. He rushes out and locks the car, stuffing his keys in his pocket. He spots the door already opened and lets out a relieved sigh. 

"Thank god for Nolan," he whispers. 

He opens the door and the bell rings. 

"I'm sorry, sir, the store doesn't open till 7," he hears Nolan calling out from the kitchen.

"That's fucking absurd! I'm going to have to speak to your manager," Theo smirks, yelling out.

 

He hears Nolan dropping possibly a bowl and hears it hitting the floor, making a loud clanking sound. 

"Shit shit," Nolan curses. 

He sees Nolan getting out, looking ruffled and tired, he glares when he sees it's Theo. 

"Fucking Theo, you scared me asshole," Nolan hits his shoulder.

Theo laughs and grins at Nolan, "Not my fault you can't recognize your manager and best friend's voice," Theo teases.

"Fuck you, Theo, it's 6:30 in the morning and I haven't had my coffee to wake me up. Besides we are both managers of this establishment," Nolan argues.

"Alright, kitten, stop whining. I haven't had my coffee and apple. I didn't brush my teeth," Theo grunts.

Nolan glares and groans, "That sucks for you, asshole, you deserve it. I'm going to make my coffee after I finish with the bread, but first I got to tell you that bread is almost done, the pastry supplies and items you need are in the kitchen waiting for you. We have lemon pops and some cookies and bread from yesterday so I can possibly go over to the center and donate them to the homeless during my lunch break  after I make sure they are edible. Uhh we also have a delivery tomorrow at 8AM that has our dough, fruits, and sweets that we ordered and don't forget you have to take your medicine around lunch after your meal," Nolan informs him. 

Theo squeezes Nolan's shoulder, "Thanks for the reminders. Almost forgot most of them myself," he jokes, "What would I do without you?" 

"Crash and burn," Nolan teases back. 

Theo chuckles and grabs a green apple munching on it while getting everything ready to bake. 

 

They spend the rest of the morning, making bread and pastries. Nolan and Theo gulp down their coffee despite the burning feeling as it goes down their throats and get to work right away. There's always a rush in the morning and people get in and out wanting their order. The main reason people come by is to try Theo's pastries and Nolan's bread. Nolan makes sure to make fresh bread everyday making them soft and warm. Everyone always enjoys Nolan's bread with a spread inside or a cup of tea on the side. They love how fluffy, soft, and warm it is and always come by for them. Nolan didn't make bread until recently when he tried to experiment because he wanted to help out more even though Theo told him he didn't have to. Theo knows that Nolan didn't want to feel like all he does is manage and take orders, so he convinced him to try new things and see which one sticks. He knows Nolan wants to try making something and since he makes the pastries, Nolan settles on trying to make bread which turned out well after a few tries on different things such as apple cider and different pastries from different countries. He messed up the first couple hundred times and almost gave up till Theo encouraged him to keep going and to not give up. Then until a year ago, Nolan found the perfect recipe to make them delicious and warm that had everyone raving over them and coming back for more. Nolan was of course, surprised and still is that some people would come by for his bread and tea, Theo was happy for him and saw how Nolan always lit up when someone bought his bread or his tea. 

 

When Theo decided to add the bread to the main menu and wrote it on the chalkboard outside, Nolan couldn't contain his smile, kissing Theo and hugging him, squeezing him so hard that Theo forced him to let go while patting him on the back. Now, Nolan comes around the same time as Theo and makes the bread while Theo makes the pastries. He can see Nolan's happiness whenever he makes bread and serves it, he remembers Nolan years ago when he was going through a rough time and Theo helped him seek help and speak to different people. 

 

Theo and Nolan met in group therapy after Theo was forced and bitched about it, Nolan was the only one who laughed at his sarcastic comments and agreed not caring if both got in trouble. Theo sometimes regrets going because of his state of mind but glad he met Nolan because they both experienced loss and bonded over their annoyance of group therapy and video games. They hung out after therapy and went out a couple of times to play video games and have movie nights. Nolan helped him after what happened between him and Josh. It hurt sometimes to think of what happened between them and he still sometimes blamed himself and what he could've done different, even though he learned there is nothing he could've done. It still hurt to think about it.  

 

They didn't open their business till 3 years ago. They were teasing and having fun when Nolan was sleeping over, they were deciding on what to do and one thing lead to another and they were both covered in flour with a batch of homemade pies in the oven. "Go big or go home," Theo always said, smirking.

When the pies finished, Nolan moaned as the warm crumbly crust and the enticing melting taste of delicious apples filling his mouth and running down his throat had him eating two huge slices. Theo sat there, staring at him shocked. Nolan ignored him and kept eating till he felt like his stomach was going to implode. "So I'm guessing you liked them?" Theo smirked and finally finished his first piece. 

"Fuck yeah, I'm asexual and I would have sex with this pie," Nolan smiles. 

Theo snorts and shakes his head, "You are a fucking weird dude." 

After that, Nolan convinced him to start selling his pies and get a job at a bakery. Theo learned more desserts and recipes and started to make more desserts for Nolan to try. Even though Nolan gained a couple of pounds, Theo tried to convince him that it was a good thing since he looks good with a little muscle and it's healthy for him, he ends up helping Nolan work out to gain a bit more upper muscle. After Theo quit his horrid job he finally manages to get him and Nolan's own business from the money him and Nolan saved over the past years. Theo was ecstatic though nervous because he feared he would fail and become a failure with a deadbeat shop. He decided to give his fair share to Nolan as well making them both managers since Nolan also helped him through tough times.

 

They both decided to work together and give their shop a more homely comfy feeling by adding couches and changing the walls to an oak wood. They added tables with stools and small round tables next to the couches, adding magazines and updating them once a month. They changed everything about the bakery and made it seem more cozy, it responded well with customers. Customers all gathered also for Theo's pastries. Theo always made delicious pastries and sometimes added a unique flavor that people would think is gross but is actually delicious. He always had a special of the day which was always some weird flavor added to a normal order. 

 

His favorites are peanut butter donuts with pretzel bits on top, glazed donuts with an egg inside or on top, cupcakes with a small scoop of their own homemade green tea ice cream with a cinnamon stick on top, and pie with red velvet filling and strawberries on top. Theo always tried to add more weird flavors than regular ones, but there was always someone who just wanted a plain original donut, pie, or cupcake. He didn't mind because he found that it's fun to make and it calms him down. It soothes his anger and he always finds himself cooking more when frustrated, angry, nervous, or stressed out.  He loved the smell it left in his kitchen and sometimes he comes home to the smell of donuts or pie or random pastries he baked that day. 

 

"Theo! It's seven o'clock, I'm going to open the doors," Nolan yells outside the kitchen.

"Open up the doors," Theo yelled back. 

He lost himself in the baking and made fresh batch of cookies and his favorite bacon cookies and apple cider cookies. Then he started working on plum dumplings filled with sliced peaches. He kept baking till he made sure he had enough for at least a couple of hours. He went outside to help his workers and Nolan a bit with the customers. 

 

When their bakery got more popular they hired more people. They hired a pretty brunette Tracy and a shy adorable and awkward Corey. They were excellent workers and always came on time and were polite and good with the customers. They also know how to make coffee and tea so it was a plus they work here. 

"Corey, you can be in charge of making coffee. I'll take over register," Theo says. 

Corey turns around and looks at him, "Are you sure? I mean I can keep going, it's no problem."

"It's fine, I want to be in front," he nods his head and steps in. 

Corey goes ahead and starts to make the coffee while Theo takes orders. 

 

"Hello Ms. McCall, looking lovely as always," Theo smiles, putting on his charm.

Ms. McCall smiles, "I told you this already, Theo, call me Melissa and thank you." 

"I'm sorry, ma'am I'm used to calling you that ever since I was a young boy. How is your work?" Theo asks while taking her order: turkey sandwich with a mocha latte to go. 

He rips out the order and yells it out to Nolan and Corey. 

"It's still same old same old. It's a hospital, people come and go nothing really exciting," she says. 

"That's not true ma'am I'm sure saving people is exciting enough, how's your son?" Theo asks.

Him and Scott used to be best friends till Theo moved away and came back 4 years ago, they didn't start off to the best of terms and hated each other for a while. They still aren't close but they have respect and can be civil around one another. 

"He's doing well, thank you. Are you guys talking to each other?" She asks politely. 

Theo's smile falls for a second before he puts on a smile, "Ya, when we see each other, we have a small conversation." 

Theo starts to rub his thumb against his palm, growing nervous. Where is Nolan and Corey with her order? He didn't like when people brought up his and Scott's last friendship and rather breeze past it. 

"What's the weird dessert of the day?" Ms. McCall smiles and Theo slumps his shoulder in relief, thankful for the subject change. 

"Today's menu on our special of the day is butterscotch pie filling with sliced guavas on top," Theo says. 

"Sounds very odd, seems like the type of thing you would make," she smiles.

"You know me ma'am, the weirder the better. I like to try new things," he smirks. 

Tracy comes by and hands Theo the bag and smiles at Ms. McCall.

"Thanks Trace," Theo smiles and hands Ms. McCall her sandwich. 

Corey slides in and hands her the drink and smiles to go continue on other orders. Ms. McCall says bye and leaves. 

 

"Are you and Scott ever going to be friends like you used to?" Tracy leans over the counter. 

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Theo argues back and hits her with a towel on her head. 

Tracy grumbles and tries to snatch the towel but Theo puts it around his back, "I'm just saying, you guys were really close and best of friends. I remember you, Stiles, and Scott being like a trio and doing everything together," she explains.

"Yeah well things change and people change. It all became complicated and I betrayed Scott and Stiles's trust and don't deserve it back," Theo replied coldly, wanting the conversation to end. 

Tracy senses that and starts to clean the counter, busying herself with the task at hand. Theo feels a bit bad about dismissing her like that but she brought up something he prefers to keep locked up. The rest of the day goes by slowly and Theo busies himself with baking pastries that have already runout. His most popular are bacon cupcakes, slices of apple cider pie and powdered donuts with hot fudge syrup on top. He whistles some Led Zeppelin and finishes fast within two hours. He tries not to think about what him and Tracy discussed because if he did then it would make him in a bad mood and he didn't need that right now. 

 

"Theo?" Corey walks in, looking shy and nervous. 

"What's up, Core?" Theo raises a brow at Corey's stance.

"I was wondering if I can take my hour break now instead of 3:30, it's just I'm meeting up with my boyfriend and his friend and his best friend has lacrosse practice at college and Mason hasn't seen him in weeks and we all want to hang out and-" Corey keeps ranting on.

"Corey, its cool. I don't mind, it's your break just take it whenever you want," Theo cuts him off.

Corey smiles bright and wide and Theo knows if Corey wasn't taken and working for him, he would've flirted and put on his charm on the him. 

 

(TRIGGER WARNING) 

He knew he was gay long when he realized he fell for Stiles. Stiles was his first crush that made him realize he likes boys, of course Stiles never saw him that way though Stiles came out as bisexual a few years ago. Theo was hurt Stiles didn't reciprocate the feelings but he understood Theo isn't worth the time of day. He knows he isn't the best person and knows he doesn't deserve to find someone. His parents weren't too thrilled about him being gay and after blaming him for his his sister's death, they saw it as a chance to kick him out but not before giving him their usual beating. He still winces at the scars on his waist that cut deep and small. He sometimes can hear and feel the the knife in his skin and the words that his parents cursed out at him. He remembers packing his bags with very little clothing and little supplies and getting the hell out. He lived in his truck for months before he got a job at a small little cafe and a small apartment that comes with it. It was trashy and disgusting that had bugs littered around and low water pressure, but it was a home he kept repeating to himself for two years before he saved up enough money to get his own place and forced himself to try and get better, he did it for Josh. Josh cried when he saw his scars and begged him to get help to heal. To help with his mental stability because apparently a past like that can leave scars and cause problems as he gets older. He scoffs at that, the therapy healed him but not as much as he hoped for, the scars remain. The memories are there but they don't hurt as much as they used to. They don't make him panic and cry, they don't make him have nightmares that keep him up at night, every night. They don't make him throw up after every meal because the thought of their touches make him shake and sick. He guesses that's an improvement. That's when he forcibly went into group therapy because he knew it pained Josh, but he never wanted to get better. It hurts to think about Josh just like how it hurts to think about his parents and sister. It's a different type of pain and Josh was worse because Josh meant more to him than his parents did. He deserves to stay in the void of self loathing and disgust. He shuts his eyes tight and ignores the voices, ignores the wounds etching to be scratched, to be opened again. He can't go down that dark path again, not again.

 

He believes he deserves it and more, but when Josh looked at him with so much hurt and pleading, he surrendered and went to group therapy where he met Nolan. He bitched about it and threw every single sarcastic comment he knew at the lady, but she still let him in every week and acted polite towards him. It frustrated him so much, he wanted to be kicked out, to be yelled at. He wanted to be yelled at and kicked out. He deserves all sorts of punishments and more. He shook his head trying to get rid of those thoughts. He needs to distract himself, he has to get rid of those thoughts. Since Corey is on his break, he'll manage the register. He hung his apron on the hanger and ignored the flour in his hair and face. He can wash it off later and besides he works at a bakery, there's always flour. 

 

He opens the kitchen door and breezes past Nolan who is making tea for the customers. He checked the time 2:27PM. He turns to Nolan and comes closer to whisper so no one can hear, "Nolan go make yourself a sandwich to take your medication. I am going to make sure you eat every bite and take both your pills." 

"Is it 3:00 yet?" Nolan turns to him. 

"It's 2:28PM now but it takes you a while to make your sandwich since you don't let anyone else do it for you," he scoffs, "so by the time you're done, it'll be 3:00. Don't forget to go to the homeless shelter to donate the pastries and bread." 

Nolan smiles, "Thanks Theo," he whispers, "You have a customer," he wipes some of the flour of Theo's face before Theo smacks his hand away. 

"Don't touch me," he hisses and wipes his face. 

Nolan laughs and heads to the kitchen to make his sandwich and gather the leftovers. 

"Okay two men down, Tracy and I can handle this, we are fast and efficient," Theo mumbles and turns to assist the customer. 

 

His eyes widen as he takes in the very beautiful customer. He knows he's new here because he would recognize a regular and he would definitely remember him. He slowly gulps and walks over to the counter. He catches his beautiful deep blue eyes and brown long hair and clears his throat. Fuck he can't get awestruck from one guy, especially a guy who's definitely out of his league. He looks up and catches his eye, "Welcome to Neo's Bakery and Cafe, how can I help you?" He smiles, small and welcoming. 

 

The guy stares for a few more seconds till he looks away at the menu.  He glances at it for a few seconds and glances at the pastries and sandwiches displayed. He says looking at the pastries, "What's with all the weird mixes and combinations?" He stares at the bacon cupcakes in wonder and curiosity. 

 

"Well, we decided to make our place unique in a way and since I know how to bake pastries I tried to make all these weird combos and see which work and which don't," he explains.

The customer nods thoughtfully, "We?"

"Uh yeah, Nolan and I. We both own the place, he makes the bread while I bake the pastries. The guy over there," he points to Nolan sitting on a table eating the sandwich like he promised. 

Nolan notices him and waves, smiling. Theo smiles and winks at him. 

 

"Oh the guy that wiped flour off your face..." the customer trails off with an unreadable expression on his face. 

Theo glares, "Is there a problem with that?" He says coldly. 

He doesn't need a homophobic asshole telling him what is and isn't wrong. 

The customer' eyes widen and he shakes his head, "No no it's-it's not that I promise. I'm bisexual and my friend, Mason, is gay and has a boyfriend. His boyfriend works here that's why I'm here. Also my other friend is a bisexual and has a girlfriend. I am not homophobic or anything I don't care about that, you know love is love and I'm accepting of all sexuality. I was just wondering that's all and I just wanted to-," the blue eyed customer keeps ranting.

Theo laughs cutting him off, "Dude it's fine, no need to keep blabbing, you'll tire yourself out," he smirks. 

Blue eyes turns a deep scarlet red and grumbles, "I was not blabbing." 

"Whatever you say," he smirks. 

Blue eyes glares and his shoulders tense and Theo keeps on smirking, it's funny how easily he can get him all riled up.  

 

"So what can I get for you?" Theo asks, putting on his charm. 

Blue eyes' expression softens and he releases the tension from his shoulders. 

"I'm new here so I don't know what's good for lunch," he shrugs. 

"Well since I bake everything here but the sandwiches, I think everything tastes good since I make delicious pastries as I say so myself. But since you want lunch, you should get a sandwich and I recommend my favorite and Nolan's most delicious: an avocado lavado sandwich," Theo explains, smiling. 

Blue eyes stares at Theo with wonder that has him squirming under his gaze. Why the fuck does he keep staring? It's making him uncomfortable but not in a bad way and he doesn't want to interpret it in any way so he clears his throat. Blue eyes snaps out of it and blushes, "uh ya I would take that. What's a lavado?" He asks.

Theo shrugs, "No idea, I think he just added it because it sounds good in the title." 

Blue eyes nods his head and chuckles, "Smart guy, I would take one avocado lavado and uhh a cup of water," he states. 

Theo nods his head and rings up his order, "That'll be $6.45, cash or credit?" He asks.

Blue eyes hands him a ten dollar bill and he hands him his change.

"What's your name so I can call you up when it's done?" Theo asks. 

Secretly he also wants to put a name to that beautiful face of his but also he needs it for the order. Yup, just for the order and nothing else. 

"Liam," he answers. 

Theo nods and writes his name and goes over to the back to start on the sandwich. Nolan is still on his break and no way is he going to keep him from eating and relaxing. He needs it since he looks like he hasn't slept in days. Besides he probably already headed off to the shelter to give to the homeless so he's not needed here. 

 

He gets started on the sandwich and though he doesn't make them as good as Nolan, he still can make a pretty delicious sandwich. Liam. He looks like a Liam. He softly laughs at how red he turned and kept ranting on and on. 

_"I'm bisexual..."_

He tore that out of his thoughts, he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. Not after what happened with Josh, he's not going to go through that again. Besides Liam wouldn't go for him, Theo is nothing. He's worthless and has so many issues, he can write a whole book about it. He ignores his thoughts before they get the best of him and focuses on the sandwich. Sandwich with avocado and mayo and tomatoes and chicken and pickles and a secret sauce Nolan only knows how to make. He deeply sighs and puts apple slices on the side. Nolan decided to act more healthy and add healthy options to his food since Theo stuffs his customers with fatty foods that can 'cause diabetes and slowly but surely kill them to a sugary fatty death,' put nicely in Nolan's words. His pastries are made to be sugary and sweet and melt in people's mouths, wishing for more and wanting to stuff themselves with his weird combinations. 

 

He feels good about it and goes out the door and looks around and spots Liam with Corey? Corey knows Liam? So that's the friend he's meeting and the guy next to Corey is probably his boyfriend. His boyfriend puts his arm around Corey's shoulder and kisses his cheek, yup boyfriend. 

"Liam!" He calls out.

Liam turns around and spots Theo holding his meal. He starts to walk towards him, smiling, when Nolan comes up to Theo, blocking the view of Liam. 

"Hey why didn't you call me? I would've made the sandwich," he said.

"I didn't want you to stop eating, you said it yourself you were hungry and you were at the homeless shelter after your meal," he leans in to whisper, "did you take your meds?" 

Nolan rolls his eyes and shoves him away but at arms length, "Yes mom, I took them." 

Theo scoffs, "I'm better than your mom, I actually feed you."

Nolan smiles and squeezes Theo's shoulder, "Yeah, you do and are better."

"Get the fuck away from me," he shoves Nolan off as Nolan chuckles. 

 

"Um my order is ready?" Theo turns and sees Liam looking tense and bothered. 

What the fuck got him hot and bothered? 

"Yeah, here you go and enjoy," Theo says. 

"Yes enjoy your sandwich, I'm sorry it'll taste like shit because my buddy here, Theo, doesn't know how to make a sandwich," Nolan smiles.

"Yeah, thanks," Liam bites out and glares at Nolan. 

He walks away making Nolan and Theo stare at his back in confusion. 

"What the fuck got his panties in a twist?" Nolan asks, confused.

"I don't know, he was being a total dick when I mentioned you and acted all awkward," Theo answered. 

"Maybe he's jealous of a hot guy like me is talking to a gorgeous guy like you when it should be him you should be talking to," Nolan teases and pokes Theo's side, missing it and hitting his deep scar instead.

 

Theo flinches because our if reflez, Nolan notices and concern floods his features, "oh shit sorry, Theo. I didn't mean to," he rubs his scar slowly in circles, a technique Theo taught him. 

Theo calms down after a while, that always makes him calm. Whenever he is reminded of his scars, he always rubs them slowly and in circles because it's a reminder that even though they're there, he's alive and well. He's here, they can't hurt him anymore. He's okay. He breathes in and out, he's okay. 

Nolan stops rubbing when he notices Theo is taking deep breathes. 

"You okay?" He asks.

Theo nods, "Yeah thanks and also he didn't get jealous because he doesn't like me that way. We just met and it wasn't on good terms," he points out. 

Nolan shrugs and looks Liam's way, "You'll never know, you should flirt with him and get his number," he teases. 

Theo laughs, "Ha! Okay sure. I'll just go up to him and say, 'hey I'm Theo, I am a screwed up mess with parents who abused me mentally and physically and was homeless until 7 years ago because I lived in my truck for a half a year and went to therapy for six months but hey atleast I have a pretty face so what do you say? Number?' Yeah I definitely see that working out," Theo argues.

 

Nolan rolls his eyes and glares, "Hey, stop putting yourself down. It isn't your fault any of that happened. Remember that, none of it was your fault and it never was-" Theo cuts him off.

"Customer alert," Theo shushes him and turns to Corey and Mason.

Nolan gives him the look, 'We'll talk later,' and busies himself with the other customers. 

"What can I do for you, Core?" Theo asks.

"Nothing I just wanted to introduce you to my boyfriend, Mason," he pointed towards Mason.

Mason was pretty cute and looked like Corey's type with the excellent style and handsome features. 

"Hey man, nice to meet you," Mason sticks his hand out and Theo shakes it. 

"Nice to meet you, too," Theo smirks.

"You're right Corey, he is hot up close as he is far away," Corey blushes as Mason comments. 

 

Theo chuckles, "Yeah, well I am a pretty good looking guy, what can I say?" Theo smirks. 

"Also this is our best friend, Liam," Corey points towards Liam who came from behind Mason. 

"Who was apparently hiding," Theo chuckles. 

Liam glares and crosses his arms, "I wasn't hiding," he says. 

"Uh huh," Theo leans against the counter, "Corey, your break ends in 5 minutes, Tracy has been wanting to take a break but has been waiting for your ass," Theo smirks. 

Corey turns red and mutters an apology pecking Mason the lips and hurries to the bathroom to wash his hands. Theo turns to Liam, "So what did you think of the sandwich? Delicious right?" Theo asks. 

"It was good, actually delicious," Liam complements, looking down shyly. 

Theo smiles, "Thanks man, I can make a mean sandwich."

"Yeah, you really do," Liam looks up at Theo with his long eyelashes frame his face.

 

Theo blushes and swallows, "heh thanks," he coughs, "thanks sweetheart." 

Theo put on his charm and watches as Liam blushes and frowns, "Don't call me sweetheart, I'm not your sweetheart," he grumbles. 

Theo raises a brow, "oh? That's why you're red?" 

"Fuck off," Liam growls.

"Hey, no need to get into a hissy fit," Theo glares.

"It's not a hissy fit, asshole," Liam bites back.

Theo glares and is done with this fucker's shit and has no time for this. 

"We run a comfortable welcoming establishment. If you're going to act like a bitch, you'll have to leave," Theo glares.

He was getting pissed, who does he think he is? Growling and hissing at him like a fucking dog. He doesn't need this shit in his bakery and if Liam is like this all the time, then he can leave and never come back. Liam's expression softens and he looks apologetic and before he has time to respond, Corey comes rushing back and says bye to his friend and boyfriend. Mason witnesses the whole scene in front of him, apologizes and grabs Liam and drags him out. 

 

"So isn't Mason the best?" Corey sighs.

Theo smirks, "Yeah, he seems like a good guy even though I only said two words to him. Seems like a good guy," Theo nods his head. 

Corey laughs and sighs dreamily, "Yeah, he's an awesome boyfriend and a great kisser and he's great in be-" Corey gushes.

"Alright Corey, as much as I love to hear about your love life, that was too much information," Theo says. 

Corey blushes, "Sorry...sooo." 

"So?" Theo glances at him while making a mocha latte.

"What do you think of Liam?" 

Theo scoffs, "A dick," he mutters.

Corey chokes, "How?" 

Theo rolls his eyes, "No offense but he acts like he's a tough guy with an equally huge ego. He's a total dick. Hot but a dick," Theo explains. 

Corey nods and looks disappointed. 

Corey doesn't bring it up till the rest of the day. 

 

Theo took his break after half an hour of Nolan complaining about him not taking his break, yet. "Look who's acting like the mom now," Theo teases.

"Shut up, eat your sandwich and take your medicine," Nolan shoves the food in his hands and points to a table. 

"I love it when you boss me around," Theo winks at Nolan. 

Nolan slaps his hand on his forehead and sighs, "Just go eat your stupid sandwich and take your break." 

Theo laughs and goes over to the table and silently eats his meal. He munches on the apples and checks his bills and supplies for the bakery and makes sure to order ingredients for next week.

"Seriously even when you're on your break you're still working?" Tracy peaks over his shoulder. 

"It's called privacy, stop being nosy," Theo shields his phone from her eyes. 

"Whatever, Nolan told me to tell you that he's going to stay later than closing time to work on some new bread flavors or whatever so he's going to stay a little past closing time," Tracy explained. 

Theo nods and waves her away. 

When he's done with his meal he goes in the kitchen and takes the pills out of his bag and takes them, three to be exact. He swallows them and drinks water with them. 

God he hates taking pills, they always make him a bit drowsy and slightly queasy. He deeply sighs and hears the door open. He turns and sees Nolan walking towards him. 

"Hey," Nolan says. 

"Hi, I took my medicine if that's what you were gonna ask," Theo puts away the medicine in his bag and shoves it away. 

"Good, that's good. I'm glad you're taking your medicine," Nolan smirks.

"Well yeah, I got to stay here. Someone needs to watch out for your ass," Theo retorts.

"Hey! I can take good care of myself. I'm an independent person," Liam crosses his arms.

"Sure okay, Nolan today I had to remind you to eat and take your pills. Also just over the weekend I took care when you were sick because you were a stubborn ass," Theo explains. 

Nolan blushes and scoffs, "You're such a mother hen, my god," Nolan rolls his eyes. 

"Only for you, baby," Theo opens his arms, leaning in for a hug but Nolan shoves him away, making him laugh. 

 

"Tracy, do you need a ride today?" Theo asks as he places his beanie on his head. 

Tracy puts on her coat, "Yeah that'd be great, my car is still in the auto shop." 

"NOLAN! Don't forget to lock up and be safe," Theo yells.

"Alright mom, thanks for the tip," Nolan yells back. 

He glances at the clock: 6:25PM and makes sure to clock him and Tracy out. 

"Alright, lets go my beautiful car awaits," Theo smiles and grabs his keys. 

"You and your car, you are so obsessed with that thing," Tracy comments. 

"Blame Dean Winchester, everybody's wet dream," Theo sighs. 

"Dean Winchester?" Tracy looks at him confused.

Theo rolls his eyes, "Watch Supernatural you'll see what I mean. He's a beautiful man with a beautiful car." 

Theo walks over to his beaut, a 1976 Chevrolet truck with leather seats and a black coat with a cassette radio and hot wheels. 

"This. This is my beautiful love," Theo pats her on the front. 

"I know Theo, you always say the same thing over and over again," Tracy groans. 

"I can't help but love her, she got me through rough times and stayed by my side," Theo hops in and waits for Tracy to come right in. 

"Obviously she goes wherever you drive her," Tracy says.

"The beauty of having your own car," Theo smiles. 

He finally drives her home and drops her off making sure she gets in safely and then heads to his place.

 

After he got enough money, he bought his own apartment. It wasn't huge, but it was clean and had great water pressure so he was pleased. He felt happy to walk in and not feel disgusted with his place. Now he has a comfy bed and a decent apartment without bugs crawling through the cracks.  He throws his keys on the counter and takes off his beanie and jacket and hangs them up. He stretches and grabs his book he wants to finish before tonight. He strips his clothing and puts on sweatpants and hoodie and gets comfortable on the couch with his novel and a sandwich Nolan shoves in his hands with the words, "So help me Theo if you don't eat this before you go to bed I'll kick your ass." 

 

Theo eats the burger bit by bit, he's still not used to eating three times a day and it sometimes hurts his stomach to digest food after already eating breakfast and lunch. He slowly nibbles on it and feels queasy and stops eating it after a few bites. He sighs and puts his book down, it's hard to eat normally again. He's been used to starving himself to save up the money for gas. Sometimes it takes him a day or two to buy a meal since he had to search for money and sometimes he forced himself to beg, he hated himself at those moments. He felt the most vulnerable, begging others for money sometimes meals. He did worse to get a decent meal or money for gas, he tries not to think of his deep dark past where he really was trapped into the abyss of himself. 'The only person who can control you is you,' he repeats to himself over and over again. It's been years since he stopped doing it and still has a strong effect on him. It's wedged into his head making it harder to eat. It's probably not only that but more, he knows it's more psychological than physically and he hates it. He hates that because it's harder to heal, harder to control. He wraps up the leftovers and saves it for tomorrow during lunch.  

 

He locks away those memories in a dark box in his head. He talked about it enough at therapy and even though he's gotten better, he has those bad days where he has nightmares and wakes up shaking and clenching his hands so tight, his knuckles turn white and he bites his nails till he reaches skin as they bleed. Those are his bad days, he doesn't have them as much as he used to, it's on rare days where he feels at his lowest and most depressed. It's when he can't get out of his head and he's locked up inside with voices screaming in his head. 

 

He fights those voices all the time and the pills help ease them. They're whispers whenever he hears them instead of screams. He's healing he reminds himself. The wounds will always be there, but it reminds him of his past and where he is now, it reminds him of how far he's gone. He repeats to himself while shutting his novel. He repeats to himself while brushing his teeth. He repeats to himself while getting ready for bed. He repeats to himself while removing his contacts. He repeats to himself in bed before he finally sleeps in what he hopes is a peaceful dreamless slumber. 

* * *

 

 

He wakes up the next morning to his alarm blaring in his ears, making him groan. He turns off his alarm and looks at the time: 5:30AM. He groggily yawns and stretches his arms, getting off the bed to shower. He has thirty minutes to go, ten minutes to shower then twenty to get ready and get out. He always has to have a morning routine, a routine means something is controlled in his life. A routine means he has one stable thing he can control. 

 

He gets up and does his bed, smoothing the sheets and fixing the pillows. He grabs his towel and places it on the bathroom counter to get ready for his shower. He turns the water on and waited till it steamed hot water and strips down. He hops into shower scrubbing his body clean and washing his hair. The shower is where he feels at most relaxed, where he can let go and feel stress free and at peace with the world around him. He deeply sighs and takes an extra five minutes before he gets out, wrapping the towel around his waist.  He dries his hair with another towel and puts on his glasses. He starts to get ready, wearing the usual uniform which consists of black skinny jeans, black shirt with the logo of Neo's Bakery and Cafe which is a teacup and pastry on the corner side of the shirt with the words 'Neo's' around it. He grabs his phone and keys and sends a message to Nolan telling him he's getting ready to leave. He receives a text. 

 

N: Cool, so am I. Don't forget your sandwich, I know you didn't eat it all. Remember baby steps. 

 

He smile and grabs his sandwich and puts it in a bag to save for lunch. He rushes out and grabs his beanie and jacket. He drives his truck to Neo's and parks, seeing Nolan's civic already there. 

"God that is a horrid car," Theo mumbles. 

He gets out and enters the bakery already smelling the delicious smell of bread. 

"Fuck Nolan, cook bread for me all the time and I'll be with you forever," Theo sighs. 

"They're not for you and also I do feed you and you haven't left ever since," Nolan calls out. 

"You want me here, you love me too much for me to leave you," Theo walks in the kitchen and laughs at Nolan.

He's covered in flour and is wearing a pink apron that says, 'kiss the chef', "Nice apron, looking cute," he smirks. 

"I always look cute," Nolan flips him off and continues kneading the dough. 

"Eh I guess, not really my type," Theo teases. 

"Fuck you, I'm everyone's type," Nolan elbows Theo, "Go make your pastries and don't bother me." 

 

Theo surrenders and puts on his apron and starts on his pastries, making sure to put on classic rock in the background to calm his nerves. He always found music to be calming for him and plays it whenever he can. Nolan and Theo work in silence and finish right on time with a few minutes to spare. His weird pastry for the day is deep fried rice cakes with chocolate syrup and marshmallows on top. He has Nolan try it and believe it to be delicious based on the moan Nolan gives.  

"Alright I'm going to go clean the flour off myself and get the bread out," Nolan gestures to himself. 

"Ok I'm going to eat breakfast," Theo gestures to his apple and takes a bite.

Nolan nods and heads to the bathroom to clean up. Theo gets out and finishes his while getting the chairs down and setting up the whole cafe making it presentable. 

He gets his pastries out of the oven and sets them on the display and counter, ready to be served. He flips the sign to open and waits behind the cashier, waiting for his regular customers. 

 

He heard the bell and turned around and greeted his regular, Mrs. Shelley.

Mrs. Shelley was an old sweet woman who loved to pinch Theo's cheeks and call him 'sweetie' and 'love munchkin'.

"Good morning, Mrs. Shelley, how are you?" Theo greeted, already ringing up her order.

"I'm fine, sweetie, how are you?" Mrs. Shelley cooes. 

"Better now since I saw you," Theo smiles. 

"Oh you're too sweet," she pinches his cheek. 

Theo blushes and hands her her regular: a blueberry muffin and coffee with two spoons of sugar. 

She pays and leaves after pinching Theo's cheek again. 

 

"If you were straight and older, she would climb you up like a tree," Nolan comes in, smirking. 

"Well then sucks for her I'm gay and into guys around my age," Theo comments. 

"Like the Liam guy?" Nolan smirks. 

Theo groans, he tried to stop thinking about that asshole.

"No, not like that asshole," Theo says.

"I thought you guys had something," Nolan comments. 

"Yeah, no I'm good. He was acting like a real dick so I'm not going to bother with him," Theo states. 

"Maybe he had a bad day or something, he seems like a nice guy," Nolan suggests. 

 

Theo scoffs, "Sure okay, like I said I'm not going to bother," Theo coldly says. 

 

He doesn't care for Liam and doesn't bother with his bullshit and attitude. He wants to act like a dick, fine, but not in his bakery. 

 

 

 

He spent the rest of the morning, assisting customers and baking the pastries. He was in the office paying bills when Tracy walked in. 

 

"Isn't it Nolan's turn to do the paper work?" Tracy asks.

 

"No, he did it twice in a row last time," Theo replies.

 

"Oh, well there's someone here to see you," Tracy says.

 

Theo looks at her, puzzled. Who was here to see him? He has no appointments or anyone really who would ask for him. "What's their name?"

 

"I don't know," Tracy shrugs, "All I know is that he's pretty cute." 

 

Theo raises a brow, "Okay, tell them I'll be there in five minutes."

 

Tracy leaves and Theo puts the paper work aside for later, after he's done talking to the stranger. Who was here to see him? The only friends who would want to see him are the ones in his bakery at the moment. He shook his head, 'Whatever I'll just get it over with and get back to work,' he thinks as he opens the office door to the bakery. He looks around and sees Corey talking to some guy with his back facing Theo. Well that must be him, then. "Corey!" Theo yells out. 

 

Corey turns around and smiles and nudges at his friend. His friend turns out and Theo's mood sours, it's Liam. What the hell is he doing here? He doesn't need that asshole back in his bakery. He must show how mad he is because Liam starts to fidget and rubs the back of his neck, nervous. Theo deeply sighs and walks up to them, "I'm guessing you're the one that wanted to see me?"Theo asks, already knowing the answer.

 

Liam nods,"Yeah, I just got to talk to you."

 

Theo nods and turns to Corey who's still staring. He looks at them ad realizes they're waiting for him to leave, "Oh! Right, I should-I should go," Corey awkwardly waves and goes to the counter to take care of the customers. 

 

 

 

Theo turns back to Liam who's awkwardly looking around and rolls his eyes, "Alright, talk. What did you want to tell me?"

 

"Well I came to actually apologize. I didn't mean to be so rude yesterday, my anger gets the best of me sometimes and it makes me say and do stupid stuff," Liam explains.

 

"Yeah, no kidding. You were an asshole yesterday and pissed me off," Theo glares.

 

"I know, I know and I'm sorry for that. My anger gets too much sometimes so I have to learn to control it. I swear I didn't mean to be so rude to you, it's just it was bad day at practice and then with all the teasing, I let the anger get the best of me," Liam explains.

 

"Uh huh that is still a dick move you pulled and sure, I guess I'l forgive you. Pull something like that again in my bakery and I'll ban your ass. I don't care for whatever reason, you be a little shit you get banned," Theo says. 

 

Liam nods, "Got it, I deserve it."

 

"Yeah, you do," Theo smirks.

 

Liam nods and Theo looks at him up and down. He's wearing a maroon sweater and black skinny jeans with his hair styled back (his hair in 6a, that hair). He looks at Liam and knows Liam caught him considering the pink blush that appears on his face. It's so easy to get him to let his guard down like that. 

 

Liam sticks out his hand and Theo stares at him, confusion evident in his eyes, "Friends?" Liam looks at him.

 

Theo raises a brow and grabs Liam's had and ignores the rough but softness of his hands, "More like acquaintances,"Theo smirks.

 

Liam chuckles, "I'll take it."  

 

"So did you make up?" Liam jumps and glares at Corey.

 

"For fuck's sake, Corey wear a bell," Liam glares while Theo chuckles.

 

"Sorry," Corey sheepishly states, "so did you make up?"

 

Liam rolls his eyes, "Yes, we did now leave us alone."

 

Liam blushes, "Did you guys plan on you coming here and apologizing to me?" Theo teases.

 

Corey opens his mouth, "Yes actually Liam fel-" Corey was cut off when Liam placed his hand on his mouth.

 

"Corey, stop and leave us please," Liam pleads with Corey.

 

Corey turns red and nods, leaving to help out Nolan and Tracy, who were sneakily trying to listen in. 

 

"We have nosy friends," Theo comments.

 

"Yeah, assholes," Liam says.

 

Theo laughs and Liam watches him with a look of wonder. 

 

 

Theo notices and stares back, they keep staring memorizing every inch of the other's face till they hear someone clear their throat. They jump out of the trance and they can feel themselves turning red. They turn and see Nolan with a shit-eating grin on his face, "Sorry to interrupt this beautiful moment, but I have to inform Theo that the delivery is delayed and going to come at 12," Nolan states. 

Theo nods, "Alright thanks, buddy," Nolan gestures to Liam who is looking anywhere but Nolan, "Oh! Liam this is my friend, Nolan," Theo gestures to him, "Nolan this is Liam." 

Nolan smiles wide that can have anyone fall for, "Actually it's best friend, soulmate friend, partner in crime, hottest guy he's ever known Nolan," Nolan states while Liam chuckles. 

"Can't argue with that," Liam smiles.

Theo raises a brow at how easy Liam is acting towards Nolan compared to yesterday and feels a bit jealous Liam agreed with Nolan being the hottest though he's not wrong.

"I like you, Liam, I think we are going to be great friends," Nolan nods his head and smirks.

"Yeah, I think we are," Liam smirks. 

 

 

 

Nolan winks at Theo and walks back to the counter, taking more orders. 

"I like Nolan," Liam comments.

"Yeah, Nolan is the kind of guy you can't help but like though yesterday you were glaring at him," Theo comments.

"Uh-well that-that was for a different reason," Liam clears his throat and avoids eye contact. 

"And that reason is?" Theo crosses his arms. 

"That's personal," Liam mutters. 

"I think I have the right to know why you glared and were rude to my friend yesterday and now you're all good with him," Theo argues. 

"I'm also sorry about that but seriously I told you, I was having a bad day," Liam easily lies and Theo can detect it.

He decides to breeze past it and ignore it, if he wants to keep it to himself, fine. If he's rude like that to Nolan again, he'll kick his ass. 

They part ways with a smile and goodbye after that and Theo gets back to work. 

"So you guys going to be seeing each other soon?" Nolan smirks.

"Highly doubt it, he is a good guy, a complete asshole but a good guy. He shouldn't be stuck with a screw up like me," Theo says.

"That's his choice to make, not yours," Nolan says, "and also you're not either of those things. You're a good guy who's made lots of mistakes. Like everyone has," Nolan explains.

Theo nods not believing him. 

* * *

Liam visits Theo at least twice a week after Lacrosse practice for five weeks and they have lunch together. Though he lives an hour way, they try to make lunch those days and enjoy themselves. They argue, bicker and have fun together. They both enjoy each other's company more than they care to admit and learn a lot about one another. Theo learns that Liam has been playing lacrosse till High School and realized he was bisexual when he saw a guy, Brett, shirtless and got a boner. Brett was his first boyfriend though it felt more sexual than anything else. He learned that Liam has IED and has to take medicine for it otherwise it can get worse. He learns about Liam's family and friends and how he met Mason and his other friend, Hayden. His love for video games and lacrosse always seemed to bring a smile to Liam's face making Theo feel warm inside. Even though, they've only known each other a short period of time, Theo still fell for him and still doesn't have his number. Theo shares some parts of himself to Liam though not all, he isn't ready and he'll scare Liam away. He doesn't want Liam to know, Liam will run away and leave Theo. Just like his parents. Just like Josh. The rest of the tIke is passed by in a blur for Theo. They talk for hours about Theo's job, their friends, Liam's aspirations in college, and everything in between. Nolan and Liam start to get a long more and hang out when Theo is busy with the bakery or paper work to join them. Currently Liam and Theo are sitting on the stools by the counter, Theo listening intently at what Liam is saying about history. He loves when Liam talks with such intensity of the subject and finds it's so attractive, he has to stop himself from leaning over and pecking his pretty soft lips. 

"I'm impressed," he says surprised how fond and soft his voice sounds.

Liam blushes and thanks him.

They keep staring at each other till someone clears their throat. They turn to see Nolan staring at them with a twinkle in his eyes. 

"Dad I need you help," Nolan calls out, smirking.

Liam starts to laugh and Theo glares, "Nolan don't call me that."

"Sorry dad," Nolan smiles.

"Nolan," Theo says with a stern voice.

"Ok sorry...dad," he whispers the last part. 

Liam still laughs and stops immediately when he sees Theo's expression. 

"Fuck you both,"Theo huffed and walked over to Nolan to help him.

 

"What do you need help with?" Theo asked.

"The coffee machine is stuck and three people are waiting for their drinks," Nolan explained.

Theo nodded and got to work, "I hate you for embarrassing me," Theo grumbled. 

"I thought you didn't care about Liam and called him an asshole and a dick," Nolan smirked.

"Shut up, turns out he's nice," He mumbles.

Nolan leans closer, "I'm sorry I didn't get that, is Theo admitting he's wrong?"

Theo shoves him away, "You are such a dick."

Nolan laughs and pats Theo's back,"Don't cry, you'll survive."

"I hate you so much right now and I'm done fixing the fucking coffee machine," Theo glares and turns back to Liam, who's trying to hold back his laugh.

"Alright asshole, I have to get back to work. I'll see you whenever," Theo says.

Liam stops laughing a look of disappointment washes over him, Theo ignores that thinking it's nothing, "Don't miss me so much, I know I am a delight," Theo jokingly says.

Joking. Joking is good, it doesn't mean anything.

Liam huffs, "Yeah right, like I'd miss you."

"Who wouldn't?" Theo smirks.

"So you're Nolan's mom and dad?" Liam teases.

"Leave and never return," Theo says sternly.

Liam laughs, "But I like spending time with you," he pouts.

He ignores how adorable and cute he looks and teases him a little, "Aw you poor pup, too bad I don't like spending time with you."

Liam gives a fake wounded look and puts his hand over his chest, "Ouch! I'm hurt," he pretends to wipe a tear. 

"Good now you can leave me alone," Theo smirks.

"Alright I'll go don't want to keep you from getting distracted but first can I get your number?" Liam smiles.

 

Theo freezes for a second and his heart stops beating. What the fuck. He is speechless for a second and notices Liam awkwardly swaying and turning more pink by the second, "Or not you don't have to, I just wanted us to hang out more, you seem fun and really cute. I mean...uh not cute..you're actually hot but also really nice and I really like your eyes..um..yeah so I'm going to go, bye," Liam awkwardly waves and was about to before Theo snapped out of it and grabbed Liam's wrist. 

"Liam, it's 9:30 in the morning, give a guy some time to process," Theo smirks.

"Oh, oh ya okay," Liam nods.

"It'd be cool if I give you my number but give me yours as well," Theo says. 

"Oh, awesome okay cool," Liam smiles and a blush forms on his cheeks. 

Theo is so screwed if Liam is going to act like this. He's probably just being polite, he reminds himself. He doesn't actually like you, no one would like you. The voices whisper in his head and keep repeating it. He knows it's true and it still hurts everytime he hears it because he knows Liam deserves better, deserves more than he can offer. He hates how useless and worthless he feels. He hates ho-

"Theo? Are you okay?" Liam places his hand on Theo's shoulder and squeezes.

Theo instantly snaps out of it and focuses back on Liam who looks concerned, fuck he wishes he didn't have to see that. "Yeah I'm fine, I just zoned out."

Liam nods not believing him and hands him his phone. Theo takes it and writes down his number and Liam does the same on Theo's phone. Theo feels something warm spreading through his body and buries it deep inside. He hands back his phone to Liam and Liam does the same.

"I'll call you," Liam smiles. 

"Yeah you better or I'll be heartbroken," Theo jokes.

"We wouldn't want that," Liam kisses Theo's cheek and walks out with a red face leaving Theo speechless.

 

Nolan walks over and laughs at Theo's expression, "Did someone just render Theo speechles? Wow is this the apocalypse?"

Theo snaps out of it and shoves Nolan, "Fuck off and go eat for your medicine."

"Dude it's only 10AM, I don't have till 3," Nolan smirks.

"Oh," Theo says.

"Damn he's something special if he renders you speechless and slow," Nolan pats his shoulder.

"Whatever it'll be one date and he'll realize he's made a mistake,Theo says.

Liam will probably be disgusted and appalled by Theo when he gets to know him before and find someone better. Someone who isn't broken and a depressed pill popping freak.

"hey, don't think so low of yourself, remember Liam asked you. He wants to be with you. No one else, understand?" Nolan puts his arm around Theo's shoulder.

Theo nods and smiles at Nolan. He doesn't know what holds for him and Liam. He doesn't know if they'll last. He hopes they last and he wonders if they'll be something special. All he has now is his number, his number that can be the answer to the voices in his head if this is all a good idea. He gets a text and smiles knowing his answer. 

Liam: Hey, just wanted to say I hope you know that I was trying to ask you out (: 

 

Theo smiles and knows there will be a lot of complications and problems, he knows he has a long way to go and there will be issues. He knows but if it's possible he'll face them with determination. If things go as well as he hopes, Liam can be a part of his life he hopes he doesn't tarnish and destroy. He hopes him and Liam will last and get through this their problems together. As Nolan pats his shoulder and lets go, Theo knows that even though he believes himself to be undeserving and unworthy of anything good, he can't help but think he has the best people in his life and hopes Liam can be a part of it. 


	2. September, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo and Liam go paintballing for their first date.

"Fuck fuck Nolan. Goddamn. Maybe I should cancel? Maybe I should just not show?" Theo was pacing, nervous filled with anxiety.   
Nolan was trying to calm him down and ease his nerves but it was hard when Theo kept walking around in circles picking up loose articles of clothing then throwing them on the floor.   
"Theo, calm down. Take deep breathes. It's just paint balling. You're going to pick him up and take him out and you're going to hit each other with paintballs and make out with color everywhere which is so cool because you guys would be all rainbow colored and be all cute and adorable. Then you're going to hold hands like lovesick puppies and act all cute and maybe make out more," Nolan explains.  
Theo slows down but his heart keeps beating so fast, it's going to come out of his chest. "I don't know why I'm nervous, I've been on dates," Theo sits on his bed, looking glum.   
"Because it's Liam. You guys have been texting nonstop and annoyingly might I add for a few weeks before you had the guts to ask him out. He's a special fruitcake and you like him a lot," Nolan shrugs which earns a pillow being thrown at him, making him grunt.   
   
"Asshole I'm trying to help," Nolan throws it back.   
Theo smoothly catches it annoying Nolan and smirks, "I know I know but I'm so nervous I'm going to throw up, not literally just figuratively," Theo says.   
"I know now come on, I'm going to choose your outfit," Nolan shoves Theo off the bed.  
He starts to look around the huge mountain of clothing ad picks through looking for the specific article of clothing.   
"Since you're going to paintballing it should be casual but also a bit formal where you look awesome but so hot he can't help but drool and also maybe something you don't mind ruining so old hot clothing," Nolan says.   
Theo chuckles and Nolan goes back to his task. He keeps looking through and finally finds what he's looking for, "Ah ha! Found it!" Nolan says excitedly.   
Nolan hands him the faded black skinny jeans, "These make your ass look great," and he throws him an olive green Henley, "and these make your eyes pop," Nolan nods in satisfaction.   
Theo looks at him with squinty eyes and confusion, "You know I should be surprised that you know what would make my ass look great and what matches my eyes but I'm not. It's a scary thought," Theo says.  
Nolan looks back, "It really is Theo, it really is," he cracks and chuckles.  
"Besides we are going to be too busy trying to shoot each other to check each other out," Theo states.  
"Believe me you'll notice and so will he," Nolan says.   
   
Theo goes to the bathroom and changes into his outfit and has to admit he actually looks pretty good for the first date. He takes three deep breathes and exits. Nolan looks at him up and down and whistles, "I'm good, I should quit our bakery and become a fashion icon," Nolan says.  
"Who's going to make their famous bread then?" Theo smirks.   
"People can survive without bread, they have your pastries to make up for the carbs," Nolan teases.   
Theo stares at him with a bitch expression and throws a pillow at him.   
   
"You're so abusive Theo, I can't believe I'm friends with you," Nolan teases.   
Theo shrugs, "I can't believe it either."   
Nolan rolls his eyes and pokes his stomach, "You know what I mean, dumbass."   
Theo smiles, "Yeah I know, there's an hour left till I go pick up Liam, want to go read Games of Thrones or watch them? Or Supernatural? Or video games?"   
"Lets watch supernatural, I still have to catch up on season 12," Nolan goes to the living room to put the show while laying on the couch.   
Theo comes and shoves his legs off before placing them on his lap.   
They put the recent episode they stopped at and watched in silence making comments here and there. "You know if Dean and Cas are going to get together?" Nolan says staring at the scene of Dean calling Cas.   
"Well obviously look how worried Dean is and also look at the way they look at each other and act not to mention the subtext and subtle hints they drop us and also-" Nolan looks at him with an unreadable expression, "What?"   
"You're super nervous since you keep ranting," Nolan points out.  
Theo sighs, "I'm so fucking nervous, Nolan, what if I'm not what Liam is expecting? I mean I know I'm a shitty human being and a poor excuse of one but what if he realizes that and ends things before it even started?" Theo looks at him so sad and upset, Nolan's heart clenches.   
"Hey, Theo, you're a great person. You need to know that, you really are. Liam would be lucky to have you and if he doesn't realize that, his loss. You can do better if he thinks any of that shit," Nolan explains.   
Theo nods though not believing him. He can do this, he repeats to himself. He can do this. He can do this. He bites the inside of his cheek to prevent biting his nails till they bleed, he doesn't want Liam to get disgusted and walk away. He takes a deep breathe and looks at the time: 4:00. They promised they'd eat then Theo would pick him up but Theo ate at 3 already and took his medicine so he won't be eating till tomorrow.   
   
He shoves Nolan's feet off and gets ready. He fixed his hair making it look presentable and grabs his keys and phone. "Are you going to stay at my place?" Theo asks.  
"Maybe I want to see how the date goes and also I have no food at my place," Nolan shrugs.   
"Alright take care and don't burn the place down," Theo says.   
"Alright have fun and don't forget to use protection," Nolan calls out.   
"Fuck you," Theo flips him off.  
"Actually the idea is to fuck Liam," Nolan laughs at his own joke as Theo shuts the door.   
   
Theo shakes his head and rushes to his truck driving to the address Liam sent him. After 10 minutes, he arrived at nice looking apartments and beeped his horn waiting for Liam. He saw Liam walk out and his breathe catches as Liam exits his apartment. He was wearing a gray long sleeved shirt and black skinny jeans. Fuck he always looks good, Nolan was right. He did notice how beautiful Liam looks. He rushes out the car and holds the door open for him.   
"My kind sir," he teases.   
"Why thank you," Liam bows a little before entering, "I like your trunk, very sweet ride."  
Theo practically beams, "Thanks she's my love," and shuts the door going back to the passenger seat.   
"Hey you look good," Theo comments.  
Liam blushes and does a once over on Theo, "Thanks so do you," he smirks.   
The car ride was comfortable and conversation flows easily between them.   
   
"Liam, I have one important question for you," Theo says.  
"And what would that be?" Liam says.  
"Who's your favorite artist?" Theo asks.  
"Seriously? That's the serious question?" Liam smirks.  
"Yeah, of course. If we are going to be dating, I must know who you listen to and see if it's worthy," Theo explains.  
Liam chuckles and shakes his head, "I like listening to anything and everything except techno and classical".   
"Alright but what's your favorite artist or band?"  
"Oh uh..The Neighbourhood, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Arctic Monkeys and all that good stuff," Liam shrugs.  
"I like you even more now Liam Dunbar, your music taste is excellent," Theo teases.  
Liam blushes, "Thanks what about you?"  
"Well I love classic rock so: Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, John Lennon, and all that," Theo lists off.  
Liam nods, "I like your music taste. Are you going to be playing any music at all?"

 

"I figured we'd talk since I would be too busy kicking your ass at paintballing," Theo smirks.   
Liam scoffs, "Yeah right, I would be the one kicking your ass".   
Theo chuckles, "Okay tough guy, we'll see about that".  
"Care to make it interesting?" Liam says.   
"Sure what does the winner get?" Theo smirks as he parks the truck.  
"Whatever they want, one thing only," Liam says.  
"Deal," he holds out his hand and they shake on it.  
The sun hasn't set yet and the paintball field is almost completely empty except for two to three people. Theo sighed happily at that, he didn't want a lot of people there anyways. They both walk up to the front and sign papers before handed their mask, marker, armor, two grenades, paintball gun containing 100 paintballs, and a hopper. They went into the changing rooms and put their things in the locker and put on their equipment.

  
"You have to tell me if I'm hurting you okay," Theo says.  
Liam rolls his eyes, "Theo I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy".  
Theo glances at Liam's biceps and muscles, fuck yeah he is, "I know but if I do, tell me".  
Liam nods and smirks at him,"I'm going to beat you".    
"Oh yeah, I'm so going to kick your ass," Theo smirks.  
"We'll see about that,"Liam says.   
Theo smirks and they both exit to the field where they are given instructions to have fun and the instructor says,"And remember it's all about having fun! You have an hour of fun."  
Theo smirked at that and whispered in Liam's ear, "It's also all about winning".  
Liam suppressed a shiver and agreed with Theo before going to his position. The rules of this game is to have fun and not get shot at. Theo scoffed, he wanted to go to a full on paintballing where they try not to get eliminated to catch a flag but Beacon Hills doesn't have a proper paintballing field and this is the best he can do. He looks at Liam who looks like an excited puppy ready to play. He smiles at him because he has to admit, Liam looks so adorable like that. He has the sudden urge to kiss his lips but resists and concentrates on waiting for the whistle to blow. "Good luck, sweetheart," Theo smirks.  
"You too," Liam smirks back.

  
Theo runs to take cover right before the whistle blows and misses the paintball by an inch. He quickly takes cover behind an old tunnel pipe and looks to see where Liam is. When he can't spot him, he slowly rises and slowly walks over to the old slide. He keeps an eye out for Liam and spots him hiding behind a pile of hay. He smirks and right away shoots him on the chest twice and hits him on sight. He turns for cover and hears Liam groan and curse. He laughs, hearing Liam come after him and ducks behind the swings as Liam aims to shoot him, missing. Theo smiles and sticks his tongue out making Liam more determined. He runs to the other side and feels the paintball hitting his back, "Fuck, you got me!"   
"Mwahah," Liam laughs evilly and runs after him, shooting him. 

  
Theo gets down and ducks behind the hay, aiming and shooting at Liam's legs and thighs.  
"Fuck Theo that actually hurts," Liam yells watching out for Theo.  
"And you think shooting my back didn't?" Theo retorts.  
"You're wearing armor on your chest and back, I have none on my legs," Liam walks over to Theo's hiding spot sneakily.  
"Shit, are you okay?" Theo panics a moment till Liam chuckles and realizes Liam is fine.  
He deeply sighs in relief.  
Theo not realizing Liam is coming towards him, "Aw poor baby, want me to kiss it all better," he jokes back.   
Liam comes up behind Theo and aims, "Nah but I'll kiss yours," Liam shoots Theo on the chest before Theo has time to react.  
Theo curses and shoots Liam back hitting his chest and helmet. Liam yells and runs for cover, shooting Theo from behind.   
"You'll never win," Theo yells as Liam goes into the tunnel pipe.   
"Yes I am, asshole," Liam yells back, voice echoing from the tunnel. 

  
Theo slowly walks over to the tunnel about to fire when Liam surprised him and jumps out, shooting aimlessly and hitting Theo on his chest, helmet, and legs. Theo curses and fires back despite the pain shooting up on his legs. He's going to be bruised tomorrow, he hears Liam laugh and groan in pain and can't help but laugh at him. Theo checks the timer and sees they have 20 minutes left, fuck the time went by fast. Theo runs and hides to think of doing the ultimate plan to win. He peeks and sees Liam looking for him, he smirks and reloads his gun for more ammunition of paintballs. He's gotta do this fast and quick. He takes a deep breathe and sees there's 10 minutes left, he smiles. He jumps out and sees Liam is gone, confused he slowly walks around till he hears the click of a gun behind his head. Fuck. "Damn it," he whispers.  
"Drop your gun," Liam says and Theo can hear his smirk.   
Theo drops it and swiftly turns around throwing Liam to the ground, pinning him with his hands above his head.  
"I win, Dunbar," Theo smirks.

  
Liam struggles for a bit and twists his leg around Theo's and flips them over, pinning Theo down. Liam smirks and straddles Theo's hips which do nothing for Theo's libido, "Actually Raeken, I think I win," Liam smirks and takes off his helmet.  
Theo grunts and frees his hands, removing his helmet, "Fuck sweetheart, you're a professional at this," Theo sighs, exhausted.  
"Of course I am, I used to play all the time when I was a kid," Liam smirks.   
Theo glares at him, "And you didn't care to mention that?"   
Liam shrugs, smirking, "Eh didn't want it to ruin the deal we had".  
   
Theo glares and smudges paint on Liam's face from his armor. Liam slaps his arm away and does the same all over Theo's face. Liam laughs and Theo covers his face with his hands to protect himself. Liam gets up and holds his hand out, helping Theo up. Theo gets up and they remain close, holding hands. They stare at each other for a few seconds and Theo steals a quick glance at Liam's lips then looks back up. Liam bites his lips and Theo tracks that movement, licking his lips. Liam softly sighs and leans in closing his eyes, Theo held his breathe frozen till Liam's lips touched his. The shock melts away and Theo kisses back with passion and he can feel how soft Liam's lips are and sighs against Liam's lips. Liam bites Theo's lips and instantly Theo opens his mouth letting Liam's tongue in. They slowly slide their tongues together and trace each other's lips. They hear a horn and instantly jump back, realizing the game is over. They heavily pant and stare at each other with their red bruised lips and instantly Theo wants to kiss him again. He assumes Liam feels the same with the way Liam is looking at him with so much hunger and want. Fuck he wants to kiss him again. He clears his throat, "We should probably go ad change".

  
Liam nods his head, "Yeah uh..yeah.. we-we should," Liam blushes and Theo can only assume he is, too.  
They walk back to the locker rooms and change out of their gear and return them. They walk back in tense silence and all Theo can think about is kissing his soft plump lips again. God, he wants to so badly. When they reach Liam's apartment, Theo walks him out and to his door, "So I had a lot of fun," Theo smirks.  
Liam smiles wide, "So did I, we should do it again sometime".  
"Hell yeah, we should. Since you won, what's your favor?" Theo asks.  
"Oh well my favor is..well it's-" he cuts himself off by grabbing the collar of Theo's shirt and kisses him soft on the lips.   
The kiss was simple and so much different from the other one, but still has Theo feeling like a warmth spread through him. Liam softly pulls away, but not before pecking his lips and smiles softly, "thanks for tonight, I'll text you," Liam whispers against his lips.  
Theo dumbly nods and swallows deeply.   
"Yeah, yeah I'll see you soon," he whispers and pecks his lips one last time before pulling away, but not before softly biting his bottom lip.   
Liam softly sighs that has Theo smirking. He walks back to his truck and waves bye to a blushing Liam and drives home with a goofy smile. God it feels good to feel genuinely happy for the first time in a while. He turns up the music and signs along as loud as he can to Led Zeppelin's Ramble On, he finally arrives home and parked his car.

He checks the time and sees he's been gone for two hours and goes inside spotting Nolan sitting on the couch watching Criminal Minds and eating a small plate of apples. He sneaks up behind and grabs his shoulders, "BOO!" he screams.

  
Nolan shrieks and drops the plate of apples, breathing heavily. He turns around and glares at Theo punching him on the chest who is still laughing. "That-that was so funny," Theo laughs, "you should've seen your your face," he says inbetween laughs.   
"Ha ha hilarious I know you fucking piece of shit," Nolan glares.  
"Aw poor child, don't be mad at me. How will I tell you about my date if you're mad at me," Theo pouts.  
Instantly Nolan rolls his eyes and smiles, "How was your day?"  
Theo tells him everything except the details of the kiss. "Wow sounds like you had fun, that's great," Nolan smiles and throws away the dirty apples.  
"Yeah, I did," he softly sighs.  
Nolan looks at him with a weird smile and Theo feels creeped out, "Alright stop staring at me like that, you freaking creep," he smacks Nolan in the face jokingly.  
"Rude. But seriously I'm glad you had fun now go shower and I'll leave you alone to your thoughts," Nolan says.  
Theo is grateful Nolan knows when he wants to be alone with his thoughts especially after an emotional driven day like this. He smiles at Nolan and heads to the shower to relax and sort his thoughts. During his shower he thinks about his date with Liam. He had fun and felt excited and happy throughout the date. He didn't let the voices overcome him and didn't panic or lose control. He felt happy and was proud of himself. He exits the shower and dresses in sweatpants and hoodie. He sees Nolan already left with a cup of warm tea waiting for him. He smiles and takes the cup to the living room to read.

Spending time with Liam was a relief and happiness he wants to feel again and hopes he can in the future. He drinks his tea and reads the novel and when he gets a text from Liam, his night suddenly feels much better.

Liam: hey I had a great time and I hope we can hang out more in the future. By the way: I totally kicked your ass and I'll continue to do that more often in the future


	3. October 12, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo and Liam's fourth date ends up in them getting in trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS:  
> -Just Theo feels like shit  
> -Feelings of worthlessness.  
> -Cursing

* * *

Theo grabbed Liam's hand and pulled him towards the counter, "you can't watch a movie without popcorn. That's the sacred tradition," Theo smirks.

Liam chuckles, "Seriously? I don't even eat popcorn".

Theo fake gasps, "what's wrong with you?"

Liam shrugs, "I never cared for popcorn, I guess".

Theo fakes a hurt expression, "I'm hurt of this news, sorry but we can't be together anymore," Theo drops Liam's hand and clenches his chest, "you wound me".

Liam raises a brow, "you're such a drama queen".

Theo smirks cheekily, "You like it".

Liam smiles and leans in, pecking Theo's lips, "yeah I do".

 

Theo blushes, "yeah whatever, you fucking sap don't touch me," he says embarrassed.

Theo turns towards the counter ignoring Liam's chuckles. He hates how Liam can bring his walls down and make him act all affectionate and lovesick. He doesn't know how he feels about it and he doesn't know how to respond to so much intimacy in general. He already gets awkward when someone hugs him or touches him. He felt awkward on the last three dates when they held hands and hugged. Kissing he can do, kissing is something he's always done to ignore everything around him, he kissed Josh to forget. He doesn't like to see kissing as intimacy but the way Liam kisses him makes it feel intimate and affectionate and it tugs something in Theo that has him scared shitless.  He wants to run and never come back, he doesn't deserve all this. He doesn't.

 

He feels something tug his hand and he looks down as Liam holding his hand, interlacing their fingers. Grounding him back to reality. He looks up and Liam smiles brightly at him. His heart melts and he can't help but smile back at Liam. "Are you sure you don't want anything?" Theo asks.

"I'll just take nachos, you can't watch a movie without nachos and jalapeños," Liam smirks. 

"You'll get nachos but not popcorn?" Theo shakes his head and orders the snacks.

 

As he tries to pay, he ends up arguing with Liam over who gets to pay.

"Let me pay," Theo says, "I want to".

"No let me, you paid last time," Liam puts Theo's extended hand down to give the cashier his money.

"We both paid, remember? You paid for the arcade and I paid for lunch," Theo says.

Liam freezes for a second, "oh yeah," he whispers and shakes his head, "I don't care, let me pay again," he tries to give the cashier his money.  

"Don't be an asshole, I'm paying," Theo grabs Liam's wrist to pay.

"I'm an asshole for paying? Do you know the definition of asshole, asshole?" Liam snarls and tries to get out of Theo's grip.

"Fucking let me pay, you dick," Theo glares and tries to hand the cashier his money. 

"Asshole"

"Asswipe"

"Headass"

"Bitch"

"Dick"

"Asshole motherfuc-" 

"Um excuse me?"

They both turn and glare at the cashier looking at them with wide terrified eyes.

They then notice how they both each other's arms grabbed and glares looking like they're one second away from murder. They both blush and let go. Theo clears his throat, "Uh sorry dude, didn't mean to act like that heh. You know how dates are," Liam glares at him and smacks his arm. 

"Ouch," he whispers and holds his arm.

Liam's expression turns to concern, "sorry did I hurt you?" 

"Yeah"

"Good, you deserve it for embarrassing us," Liam huffs.

"I embarrassed us? You're the one that didn't let me pay," Theo argues.

"That's because you pa-"

"We both paid last time," Theo cuts him off.

"Don't cut me off," Liam says. 

"Excuse me?" They both turn to the cashier who spoke and glare, "what?" 

The cashier flinches and looks so terrified, Theo almost laughs. 

"You guys can just split it again?" He suggests.

They both turn red, "Yeah yeah that's heh a good idea," Liam rubs the nape of his neck. 

Theo nods and they both end up paying, grabbing their snacks and Liam grabs jalapeños and Theo grabs hot sauce.

"That was embarrassing," Theo comments.

Liam nods as they hand their ticket and go inside the auditorium, "yeah it was, in that moment I wanted to crawl in a hole and die".

Theo agrees, "sorry about calling you all that".

"It's okay it'll happen again and it'll keep happening. We are together now it's all part of being boyfriends, just as long as we don't let it get the best of us," Liam shrugs.  

 

Theo nods, he just called them boyfriends. They didn't even acknowledge what they were, if they were even boyfriends. They've only been going out for a month and haven't even said what their relationship was. Theo feels anxious and nervous all of a sudden from the conversation. He calms his breathing and holds Liam's hand, that always calms him. 

 

In and out.

 

In and out.

 

In and out.

 

Liam looks at him with concern, "are you okay?" 

Theo nods and smiles reassuringly. 

"Yeah sweetheart, I'm just excited to see the film, people said it was really good," Theo explains.

Liam blushes and timidly smiles, "I heard it was good and if we don't like it, we can talk shit and make out," he bluntly states. 

Theo laughs, "Exactly we will be like those couples that sit in the back and make out". 

Liam chuckles, "Aw we will be like two horny teenagers".

Theo chuckles and kisses Liam's cheek. They actually do find the seats in the back and get comfortable. Theo pours hot sauce all over his popcorn and starts to eat bit by bit during the trailers. Liam and Theo start to comment on every trailer saying which they'll want to watch and which they wouldn't want. When the movie starts, they are already half way done with their snacks.

"You'll float, too Georgie," Liam whispers in his ear.

Theo tries to stifle a laugh but fails. He turns to Liam and pokes his stomach, "pop pop," he mimics the clown's voice. 

Liam giggles, ticklish, and trying to get away from Theo. They get shushed at and try to calm their laughs. 

 

"Fuck this movie is cringy," Liam comments.

"You think so? It's funny in some ways. The kid with the glasses is hilarious," Theo says.

"His name is Richie, dumbass, and he's pretty funny. But the clown, my god, he's not scary at all. I wanted to be scared and I'm not. Not at all," Liam whines.

"Maybe it wasn't supposed to be scary," Theo shrugs. 

Liam rolls his eyes, "this movie is cringy and not scary, a bad combination". 

Theo chuckles, "you're right. I don't get why people are obsessed with this movie though, it's nothing special. It's a weirdass looking clown terrorizing kids by becoming your worst nightmare, but he didn't even do that right," Theo says. 

"I swear, boo!" Liam yells throwing Theo's popcorn. 

"Hey! That's my popcorn and it has hot sauce," Theo shoves popcorn in his mouth. 

"Sorry baby," Liam throws popcorn in Theo's face. 

 

Theo glares and throws popcorn back, catching hot sauce on Liam's cheek and lips. "Oh shit sorry," Theo leans in and licks the hot sauce off Liam's cheek and lips. 

Liam tugs on Theo's bottom lip pulling him back into a proper kiss. They kiss for a while until they hear a scream jumping back from each other. They turn to the screen and see the kids screaming at the clown and trying to get out of a garage. 

"How long is this movie?" Liam asks.

"No idea," Theo answers. 

"God even this part isn't scary, I want to get really scared where I have nightmares all week," Liam complains.

Theo freezes, "no one wants nightmares," he says serious. 

Liam looks at him puzzled and Theo realizes how he acted, "I mean nightmares...nightmares are freaky you know? Really freaky. No one wants them," he clears his throat, "no one wants uh nightmares," he stutters. 

"Oh yeah obviously babe, I meant nightmares like from watching scary movies not from anything else," Liam says squeezing Theo's hand.

 

Theo visibly relaxes not even realizing he was tense in the first place. They spend the rest of the time talking shit, throwing popcorn at each other, and making out till they both get kicked out for inappropriate behavior all while Liam rubs his thumb over Theo's hand, relaxing and calming Theo down. They laugh while walking outside and Theo squeezes Liam's hand, "Thanks for the date," Liam smiles.

"Thank you for taking me out and paying half. I'm paying full next time," Liam says.

Theo looks at Liam with what he calls a 'bitch face', "No, I am".

Liam deeply sighs, "We are going to argue about this all the time aren't we?"

Theo nods, "Yup or we can just pay half each time unless stated otherwise".

Liam agrees, "You know what I just noticed?" 

"What?"

"Movies are a first date kind of thing while paintballing is like a third or fourth date sort of thing. We did the opposite," Liam says.

"Yeah, well we don't follow normal standards of dating," Theo says. 

"Considering we got kicked out of the theaters and banned, I don't think so either," Liam smiles. 

Theo and Liam came to the theaters in Theo's car so Theo drove Liam home.

"Time for some music," Theo says turning up the radio. 

 _Highway to Hell_ starts to play and Theo enthusiastically starts to sing along drumming on the wheels. He doesn't notice Liam smiling at him with something close to affection and doesn't notice the way Liam slowly starts to sing along till he's joining along singing at the top of his lungs. They both sing the chorus and Theo stares at Liam singing so loudly and it's so silly and stupid, Theo can't help the grin that spreads and stays till they reach Liam's apartment. Theo walks Liam to his door and looks at Liam. It hits him that he wants him and Liam to be an item, to be boyfriends and hold hands and kiss. To bicker and have fun together by singing at the top of their lungs or even getting kicked out of the theaters. 

"I would invite you inside but Corey and Mason are going to keep staring and smiling like idiots if you come inside," Liam blushes.

Theo chuckles, "Yeah that sounds like Corey, he's a romantic".

"He really is, you should see the dates he sets up with Mason, it makes me barf from how sappy and romantic they are," Liam smirks.

"Yeah he told me once of a date he took Mason on and it involved a picnic and candles. I'm like 'Corey, never tell me your dates ever again,'" Theo shakes his head. 

Liam laughs at that, "You're lucky you don't live with them". 

Theo smirks,"Yeah I guess I am".

"I have to go, they're looking through the window right now being creepy".

They both glance at the window as the curtains shut quick. They chuckle and look back at each other,"I'll call you?" Theo says.

"Yeah um Liam?" Theo feels nervous and awkward.

"Yeah?"

"I was um..wondering if I'm not too being too forward that uh..if you know you'd like to be more?" Theo blushes.

Liam looks at him with wide eyes, "I thought we were already together like that," Liam mumbles.

"Really? I thought we were just dating," Theo says.

"We're both a couple of dumbasses," Liam shakes his head and chuckles. 

"Yeah we really are, so you wann-" Theo gets cut off with a pair of soft lips pressed against his.

Liam and Theo slowly kiss and both feel like they're floating on cloud nine. Theo wraps his arms around Liam's waist and pulls him close making Liam gasp as Theo slips his tongue inside. Liam wraps his arms around Theo's neck and plays with his hair, pulling at it enough to make Theo softly sigh. They continue to kiss till they pull apart for air, breathing heavily. Liam deeply swallows, "I'll be waiting for you call, Raeken," Liam pecks his lips. 

Theo nods still trying to process that kiss, "yeah yeah I'll definitely call you". 

"Good, now leave before Corey and Mason invite you in for cookies and milk, interrogating you," Liam smirks.

"Honestly, they would do that," Theo chuckles pecking Liam's lips one last time. 

"Mhmm," Liam hums, "Bye Theo".

"Bye sunshine, I'll call you," Theo waves goodbye and heads to his car.

"Make sure you text me or actually call me when you get home," Liam says.

"Aw you're worried about me?" Theo teases and turns to look at Liam.

"Yes," Liam smiles.

Theo stands there, dumb stricken and he feels a pair of lips against him for a second before Liam pulls away, chuckling and says bye, shutting the door. 

He sits in his car, dazed for a few minutes till he finally drives back home. Even though, it's a forty five to an hour drive. Since Liam lives an hour away for his university, they switch off when they make plans. Sometimes Liam comes, other times it's Theo. He doesn't mind the drive just as long as he sees Liam. He's glad they make it work, at least. He remembers Corey whining how he lives so far and the only reason he applied for Neo's was because he needs money and he applied for so many, Neo's was the only place to take him. After that, he made sure to give Corey flexible hours so he won't get so stressed out. Wait, he never really got an answer from Liam whether or not they're actually boyfriends. He'll have to ask him about that when he calls him. When he gets home, he texts Nolan he got home safe and he'll tell him what happened at the date later after he calls Liam. He waits a few minutes and sits on the couch, comfortable. He calls and waits for Liam to answer. 

"Hello?" He hears Liam on the other side.

"Hey it's Theo," Theo slaps his hand on his forehead.

He knows who you are, idiot, he added your contact literally two months ago. "Yeah, I know," he chuckles.

Theo chuckles, "Yeah, I was just wondering you never gave me the answer to the boyfriend question," he fiddles with the seam of his shirt.

"I thought the kiss was answer enough," Theo can hear Liam smirking.

"Just double checking, making sure you know," Theo shrugs.

"Then yes, Theo, we are officially boyfriends. You're stuck with me now," Liam chuckles. 

As Theo hears Liam talk to him about a documentary he's watching and his lacrosse games he thinks,  _hell yeah I'm stuck with you_ _and it's the best thing I've been stuck to._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR THE COMMENTS KUDOS AND HITS!! I appreciate it so much, seriously I love you all.  
> NO HATE TOWARDS THE MOVIE IT OR CHARACTERS AND ACTORS!! I liked the movie and decided to talk about it instead based on what my friend and I thought watching it. We did enjoy the movie, but it did have it's moments. The actors did a phenomenal job and were fantastic even though I didn't particularly enjoy it.  
> For the next chapter I'm thinking of doing either:  
> -Theo and Nolan friendship, 2013  
> -More Thiam  
> -Liam and Mason drunk, 2017  
> -Theo and Nolan and Tracy sexuality talk, 2017 or 2018  
> If you read this, lemme know in the comments or I'll just choose whichever


	4. World Peace and Condoms: November, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mason, Corey, and Liam get drunk because stress. Liam runs off ranting about peace and safe sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to check the dates and chapter titles before reading to avoid confusion.  
> WARNINGS:  
> -Cursing  
> -Drinking
> 
> *Liam, Corey, and Mason live an hour away from Beacon Hills. Previous chapter, where Theo drops off Liam it's when Theo was visiting Liam. Sorry I didn't make that clear enough.

"Why did I think it was a good idea to play never have I ever with tequila and vodka with Liam? Goddamn I knew he does crazy shit and yet..." Mason shakes his head and drives around town, searching for his friend.

 

When Mason came home with two bottles of tequila and three bottles of vodka, he didn't expect Liam to want to drink them all in one night. He thought they could drink maybe a bottle, have a little fun, get wasted and pass out on the floor like usual.

 

 

 

But with college stressing Liam out and him being away from his boyfriend for so long, Liam needed more than just one drink. He ends up drinking most and only letting Mason and Corey drinking one cup maybe two at most. Since he sees Theo on weekends mostly and when he drives back to Beacon Hills for an hour. He hates being separated for so long from his boyfriend and wishes he his college was closer or that Theo was closer. Or maybe that he didn't go to college and he can stay with Theo and lay in bed all day and cuddle and have sex. That's a nice thought, Liam smiles with a dopey expression.

 

 

 

That's why, three hours later, Mason was in his car frantically looking for Liam who thought it was a good idea to explore in his own words 'the magnificent outside world and meet new people. They need to learn more,' and ran off to who knows what before Mason and Corey can process what just happened. Now Mason was in his car driving around looking for his best friend for who knows could be running around naked. He chuckles at that.

 

"What's so funny?"

 

His boyfriends voice rung out of the speaker. They both agreed someone should stay and wait in case Liam for some reason decides to come home and Corey volunteered saying Mason and Liam knew each other longer so Mason should be the one outside searching.

 

 

 

"Nothing just thought of Liam running around naked," Mason chuckles again.

"You're thinking about your best friend naked and saying that to your boyfriend?"

"Uhh that did come out bad," Mason says reassuringly.

Corey laughs, "it's okay I know what you meant, see him or a trail he left behind?"

"If you're talking about a trail of clothes then no, no trail," Mason says eyes pierced on the road looking around.

"Well text me when you find him and make sure he is clothed and okay," Corey says.

"Okay love you," Mason smiles.

"Love you, too," Corey softly says.

Mason smiles and hangs up, putting his phone away and paying attention the road ahead of him. He drives for another ten minutes before he spots Liam near the stores handing out flyers and talking loudly? What the fuck is he doing.

 

 

 

Mason parks near the stores and exits his car. He walks over till he's a few feet away and is bewildered by the words coming out of his mouth, slurred but understandable enough.

 

"Take take this. World peace is what we need, what we want! Now take this condom because if you want world peace you need to have safe sex," Liam slurs and hands out flyers and condoms.

 

All Mason can think is how did he get condoms and flyers when Mason has been looking for only an hour. 'How the fuck did he do this so fast,' Mason thinks. He walks over to him and Liam keeps talking about sex and peace.

 

"Also peace and sex are two of the best combinations. I would know know. Take my advices. I'm know what I'm saying. Don't forget," he pulls a guy close to his face, "sex and peace are important. Especially safe sex".

 

Liam let's go of the poor confused boy and walks away.

 

"Liam!" Mason calls out.

Liam turns around and cheekily smiles at him and flails his arms everywhere.

"Mason! Mason my buddy, my best friend," Liam mumbles and walks over to him, slowly trying not to trip.

"What are you doing?" Mason asks.

"I'm-I'm warning people," Liam turns serious.

"Of what?" Mason says slowly.

"Of world peace and how it can be ruined and-and safe sex. We need to have safe sex. Always. Yeah, always," Liam nods his head and turns back handing out flyers.

"Dude we gotta go," Mason tries to grab Liam's arm.

Liam jumps back and widens his eyes, "Mason! How dare you? We can't go now. We must warn everyone and hand out these flyers and condoms," Liam looks so serious it almost makes Mason laugh.

"No, Liam you warned them enough let's go," Mason says trying to grab Liam.

"I swear to god Mason I will-I will pound your," Liam slurs.

Mason laughs and shakes his head, this is too good. He needs this as blackmail. He pulls his phone out and starts recording Liam handing out flyers and condoms while lecturing about safe sex acting like a concerned parent.

"Lady lady, you have to donate a tree to save the planet it's important and if you don't, you'll die," Liam says with such a serious tone, the lady looks freaked out for a second.

"I'm sending this to your boyfriend," Mason yells at him.

"Good good he needs to know. Peace and safe sex is what's important," Liam slurred.

 

Mason sends the recording to Corey and Theo.

He hears his phone ringing and sees he got a message from Corey.

'Make sure he comes home safe'

Mason replies back that he will then looks at Theo's

'What a fucking dumbass'

Mason snorts at that and ready to comment something sarcastic back but then he gets another one from him,

'Make sure he gets home safe or I'll kick your ass'

Mason laughs at that and texts back he will, he gets a reply right away,

 

'You better, send me a picture when he's home safe or I'll come by myself'

"What the fuck, he's so protective like a mother hen," Mason mutters.

'Okay mom, I'll make sure he gets home safe.'

He texts back and right away gets a message,

'Why the fuck is everyone calling me that? Seriously is it so bad to care??'

Mason laughs at that, "What, what are you laughing at? This is serious Mason very seriously," Liam mutters.

"It's not that, dumbass, it's Theo," Mason answers.

 

"THEO?! Theooo I want to I want to see Theo. Give me Theo. I need to tell him about-about world peace and safe sex. We need to know," Liam giggles.

"We?" Mason asks, "it's he".

"No nope it's we. When we have sex, we need to know about safe sex, Mason, safe sex is safe," Liam giggles again.

 

 

Liam is a cute weird drunk, Mason thinks. Liam always ends up having pink cheeks and giggles a whole lot. He mumbles and starts speeches on the weirdest subjects and always does something he would never do sober like right now. He decides to take a photo this time of him smiling with pink cheeks and shining eyes and sends it to Theo with the caption, 'your boyfriend is a cute drunk'.

He sends it and puts his phone away ready to drag Liam back in the car. He grabs onto Liam's arm and pulls towards his car.

"Mason stop people need to know the truth. The truth behind sex and peace. It's that that both combined make it-make it work you know? Without peace, no sex. Without sex, no peace. I know this I know everything," Liam giggles.

 

Liam runs away from Mason and Mason curses watching as Liam runs towards a group of people.

 

"PEACE AND CONDOMS ARE IMPORTANT! We both need them. I have sex with my boyfriend all the time and we use condoms because they're safe and we don't want or have anyyyy diseases yup yup. Theo. That's his name. Theo is really good in bed and condoms are good for you. He's so, he's so fucking sexy. Fuck," Liam says, "he also cooks yup yup, has his own baker bakery. Cooks everything, always smells like pie and cookies and and deserts that I just want to eat him, so sexy that that I can't help but," Liam burps and giggles again.

 

Mason ran towards him and snatches the flyers out of Liam's hands, 'why didn't I fucking do this before?'

"Where'd you get these flyers from anyways?"

"Some some guy was passing them out and he wanted my help. ME! So I said yes and now now I'm spreading love and condoms," Liam dopily smiles.

 

 

 

Mason nods along confused and wary about the stranger who handed Liam flyers on peace and condoms to hand out to others. He thinks that next time he gets Liam drunk, he should chain him to a tree or the radiator.

"Next time I'm chaining you up," Mason says.

Liam looks at him bewildered and freaked out, "Mason! I have a boyfriend and so do you, what the fuck?! Shame on you. I'm only kinky to him and only him," he smacks Mason on the head.

What the fuck. "What the fuck, Liam? I meant so you won't get out of the apartment drunk," Mason rubs his head.

Liam bites his lip, already drunk and thinks, "oh yeah that makes much more sense".

"Yeah..." Mason shakes his head, holding the bridge of his nose.

 

 

He has to figure out a way to get Liam in the car and home without him causing a scene. Shit, that’s going to be hard considering Liam is weird drunk. Already he’s been lecturing about sex and condoms, if he leaves him alone for more than a few minutes, Liam will probably run off to some random place and cause mischievous. He was snapped out of his thoughts when Liam came up all in his face. His widens at the close distance and pushes himself away, “What Liam?”

 

 

“You know what we should do?” Liam looks at him with wide glassy eyes.

“Yeah Liam?”

“We we should uhh..oh we should go and and steal a puppy! We need a pupppyy, yes a puppy,” Liam smiles wide.

Mason smirks at him and tries not to laugh, “Liam, we can’t have a puppy”.

Liam’s smile dropped and he pouted, “Why??”

“Because we don’t have enough money and also it’s a lot of responsibility,” He explains.

 

Liam starts to tear up and Mason panics because a sad drunk Liam is not a good combination. He looks around to spot anything to help him or something. Then he turned when he heard Liam’s hiccups and he knew Liam was going to cry. Liam started crying and Mason groaned, fuck. Crying Liam is worse than overly excited weird Liam.

 

“Mason please!! I want a puppy,” Liam pleadingly begged while crying.

“Liam, no.” Mason sternly said.

 

Liam pouted and Mason almost gave in to Liam’s pout and big blue eyes with flushed cheeks, but they seriously do not need a puppy right now. They have college and work, they’d be lucky to have a day off at the same time. A puppy would make things more complicated and it’s too much work for them. Tears kept streaming down Liam’s face and he doesn’t know what to do, all he knows is that he has to get Liam home and not let him ever drink again.

 

“Liam stop crying, please. We have to go home, it’s 2AM and we have a busy daytomorrow,” Mason tried to reason with him.

“No,” he crosses his arms and pouts, “you’re not getting me puppy. No puppy, no me”.

Mason feels like choking Liam.

“You have work, Liam tomorrow at 10AM. You need your sleep,” Mason says.

Liam sticks his chin out, “No”.

“I’ll give you dark chocolate and anything else but a pet,” Mason tries bribing.

Liam looks like he’s thinking though it looks ridiculous since drunk Liam is smacking his lips and deep in thought.

“I want Theo’s jacket, the leather one that that is black. I want that, yeah I want that. It’s warm and soft and smells like him. Mmm,” Liam hums, closing his eyes as if imagining it.

 

Well, he’s screwed. How is he supposed to get Liam the jacket now, Theo is an hour away and he doubts he’ll drive here just to give Liam his jacket.  He deeply sighs, frustrated. 

“Okay, Liam I can get you dark chocolate right now,”Mason says.

Liam giggles, “yay! Wait wait what about Theo’s jacket? I want want his jacket,” Liam mumbles.

“I don’t know if we can get the jacket right now, maybe later,” Mason suggests.

Liam looks like he’s about to burst into tears until his eyes widen and he evilly smiles. Shit, that can’t be good. Liam giggles and pulls out his phone, fumbling it for a bit. Mason’s eyes widen and he tries to take the phone away, but Liam growls and starts to run. “Fuck, Liam,” he shouts.

 

“No, that’s Theo’s job,” Liam yells back, giggling.

Mason runs after him, trying to keep up. Damn, Liam is so fast no wonder he’s in lacrosse besides his strength. After not even a minute, Mason gets exhausted and stops leaning over, breathing heavily. “God I need to work out, I have no speed for this shit,” Mason mumbles.

 

He spots Liam dialing and then pressing the phone to his ear, flushed cheeks and dazy smile. Fuck, oh well. Theo will be pissed but that’s what happens when you date Liam. You get pulled into his crazy weird shenningings. He walks up to Liam, hands up in surrender and Liam nods knowing he’s won this round. For now at least. He hears the phone ringing on the other side and gestures Liam to put it on speaker.

 

 

“Hello?” Theo says.

Did he ever sleep? Mason wonders, he barely ever sleeps now that Mason noticed. It’s odd, eh he has his reasons.

“Theo! Theo, baby darling angel,” Liam dreamily sighs.

He hears laughing on the other side and snickers.

“Liam? Are you drunk?” Theo says chuckling.

“Drunk on youuuuuuu,” Liam says.

“Oh my god Liam, that was the worst pick up line ever, are you home?” Theo asks.

“Nope. I’m somewhere I don’t know,” Liam says confused, looking around.

“Wait you don’t know where you are? Are you okay?”Mason can practically hear the worry and nervousness coming through Theo’s words.

Mason rolls his eyes, “he’s fine, Theo. He’s with me, mom”.

He hears Theo growl, “Fuck you, Mason. Why aren’t you guys home yet? You said you will take him home,” Theo deeply sighs.

Mason chuckles but before he can reply, Liam jumps in, “Theo! Do you like Mason? Are are you going to fuck him, I thought only you and I fucked. Do you not like me anymore,” Liam pouts, upset.

Mason laughs and waits for Theo’s response.

The other end is quiet for a moment till he hears a groan, “Seriously Liam? I was joking, I only fuck you and no one else,” Theo mumbles.

 

 

Mason laughs out loud and has to wait a few moments to catch his breathe. Liam looks happy and pleased while he can hear Theo telling him to fuck off. “Sorry sorry just you guys are so cute together, I can’t help it,” he smirks

 

“Fuck off”

“Thank you”

 

“So wait why did you call Liam?” Theo asks.

“Oh so baby raindrop unicorn lover, can I can I borrow your black leather jacket. The black one that smells like you,” Liam says.

“You want to borrow my jacket?” Theo asks.

Liam nods, “yes yes it’s so nice and smells like you and I like the way you smell”.

 

 

 

Theo softly chuckles and okay yeah, Theo and Liam are really cute together but Mason would never truly admit how cute and soft they are.

“I’ll give it to you tomorrow since I have time to spare if you go home and get rest now,” Theo says.

Liam shrieks loudly and Mason grimaces. “Okay! Okay!”

He jumps up and down, almost dropping his phone. Mason gently pries the phone out of Liam’s hands.

“Thanks, Theo,” Mason says.

“Don’t thank me, just take him home safe and make sure you turn him to the side so he won’t choke on his throw up and have a trashcan near by and the medicine and water. Also make sure he drinks lots of water before he heads to bed and that he doesn’t feel sick,” Theo explains.

“Thanks, man. How do you know all of this?” Mason asks.

Theo didn’t answer and all he can hear is his breathing and he wonders if he hit a sore spot, “you don’t have to answer,” Mason softly says.

Theo doesn’t answer and after a few seconds, “Thanks, Mason. I-I have to go. Send me a photo of him safe and asleep. Bye,” Theo hung up on him before Mason even could process what just happened.

Mason stared at the phone for a few seconds, “Intense,” he mumbles and walks back to Liam who already is inside Mason’s car jumping up and down.

“Alright man, calm down and we’ll go home, drink lots of water and head to bed after a while then tomorrow you’ll get your dark chocolate and jacket”.

Liam smiles wide and nods vigorously.

 

 

They drive home filled with Liam’s ranting throughout about anything from if the planet is truly round, if the moon landing, to basically every conspiracy theory Liam can think of. Mason suffers through it. When they get home, Liam stumbles through the apartment tired and almost falling a couple of times. They enter and see Corey on the couch, passed out with a book on his chest. Mason softly smiles and kisses his forehead running his hand through his hair. He quietly takes Liam to his room and gives him two bottles of water and tells him to drink. While Liam is drinking, Mason quietly takes Corey to their room while watching Liam. He pecks Corey on the lips before tucking him in bed and kisses his forehead and softly smiles at him.

 

“I love you,” Corey whispers falling back asleep.

 

“I love you, too,” Mason says.

 

 

He closes the door and goes back to Liam’s room seeing him just finish his second one. He takes him to the bathroom and has him shower while looking away. After that, he helps him change making sure he doesn’t slip and fall, then tucks him in bed turned on the side. Even though he was more sober than drunk, Mason did not want to risk it. He wraps him in the blanket and ruffles his hair before placing a cup of water and medicine on his dresser for the morning. He quickly takes a photo before he leaves and sends it to Theo with the caption, ‘Your raindrop lover is safe (:’ he chuckles and sends it. Right away he gets a reply for fuck’s sake, he is almost always awake.

 

 

‘Shut the fuck up, don’t say that sappy shit to me’

 

Mason laughs and gets another text.

 

‘Thank you for being there for him. I’ll be seeing you guys tomorrow’

 

Yeah, Theo is a sappy shit at heart with a cold exterior. Mason chuckles.

 

“And Liam is the one that brings it out the most,” Mason softly says before shutting the door and going to his room to press his body against Corey’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ima do an angsty one next chapter about Nolan and Theo, of course there will be warnings so yeah. It's going to be cute but filled with lots of pain as well. It's gonna be set in 2014 so it's finally a past timestamp


	5. April, 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nolan is a 20 year old who didn't have his first kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS!  
> -Nightmare of abuse  
> -Self harm biting your skin  
> -Flashbacks a bit  
> -Homophobia  
> -Thoughts of worthlessnesss  
> -Mentions of Theo's scars/marks  
> -Self harm of biting nails

"Alright dude, tonight we are going to play video games and stuff our faces with candies and chips till we barf," Theo puts an arm around Nolan's shoulder.

"Theo, you know I don't eat all that junk shit," Nolan smiles bitterly.  
Theo noticed during therapy that Nolan's been feeling down, he tried to cheer him up by being more of an asshole and sarcastic but all Nolan did was crack a smile a chuckle a bit. He usually laughs even when that asshole Gabe makes fun of him. He knows something is wrong and he's going to find out. He hates that Nolan is feeling down, he hopes he's not having those bad days.  
"Alright buddy, I'll make you your green shit salad and stuff you with apples," Theo smirks.  
Nolan rolls his eyes, "I'll eat an apple but that's it, I still can't digest too much food otherwise I'll throw up. Same goes for you, Theo, you know you can't eat that much," Nolan points out.  
"I know I know, but I just want you to feel better, you've been feeling down all day," Theo shrugs.  
Nolan smiles and feels appreciative of his friend.  
"Hey we can play video games and try new recipes for our bakery. We have a day off today and tomorrow, might as make the best of it," Theo exclaims.

"I appreciate what you're doing," Nolan softly smiles.  
Theo looks at him and scowls, "Don't get all sappy with me now, let's go play video games and eat an apple," Theo smirks and drags Nolan to his truck.  
"Ugh I hate your truck," Nolan grumbles.  
"He doesn't mean that, sweetheart, you're my number one," Theo softly glides his hand through the leather seats.  
Nolan rolls his eyes and hops in making sure to plug in the seat belt. Theo double checks and turns up the music as Rolling Stones blasts through the speakers.  
Nolan tries to lower the volume but Theo smacks his hand away, "You are not allowed to touch the music at all," Theo glares pointedly at Nolan.  
"I don't get why you put this shit on! There's much better music now in this century!" Nolan screams over the music.

Theo rolls his eyes and lowers it a bit to talk, "Oh sweet naive Nolan, this music is the best music in all of generations combined. Rolling Stones is literally the image of rock and roll and not to include the Beatles which I can talk about for hours and Led Zeppelin also has be-" Nolan smacks his hand across Theo's mouth.  
"Theo I swear to god if you give me a long ass speech about the history of rock and how it's way better than this music's generation I'm going to jump out of this car right now," Nolan states.  
Theo smirks and licks Nolan's palm causing Nolan to smack him upside on the head.  
"Asshole dickshit," Nolan mumbles.  
"Did you just add some curse words together to make up an insult?" Theo chuckles.  
"I hate you so much, so many germs. God, I'm going to kill you," Nolan wipes the spit off Theo's jeans.  
Theo chuckles and turns up the music ignoring Nolan's protests.  
When they reach Nolan's place, Theo parks and gets out.  
Nolan takes a deep breathe and gets out of the truck. Theo notices how sullen and upset Nolan has been lately and is going to get to the bottom of this.  
"I'm so fucking exhausted. I forget to eat. I can't sleep," Nolan mumbled, thinking Theo didn't hear.  
But Theo did hear. He knows Nolan always bluffs out random stuff without thinking and is sometimes so exhausted he blurts out what he's thinking. He notices the sunken look in his eyes and the eye bags piling gray and sullen. Nolan's posture was rigid and hunched over and he looked so thin, that if Theo places his hand on his hips and stomach, he would feel his bones. He doesn't usually care about anyone or anything but he's known Nolan for a while and he hates that anyone would hurt someone as nice and sweet as Nolan. Nolan deserves better and he'll make sure to try to make him feel better.

"Come on buddy, let's head inside and we can do whatever you want," Theo smirks.  
Nolan sighs, looking so tired that Theo thinks he's going to collapse.

They enter Nolan's apartment he's had only for a couple of months since he finally moved out of his parents place. Thinking of Nolan's parents always has Theo on edge. He's only knows Nolan since August and it's only been 8 months since therapy and 6 months since they've become friends, but he can't help but get a bit mad when he thinks about how they made him into this. They ignored Nolan and acted as if he didn't exist making him a victim to manipulation. He tries not to get angry right now, he needs to get the video games ready and Nolan's green apple.  
"Nolan, do you want chamomile tea?" Theo asks getting the tea cup and teapot ready.  
"Yeah, thanks I'm going to go change," Nolan gestures to his room and shuts the door.  
Theo gets the tea ready and cuts the apple in slices and places them on a plate on a tray with the tea.  
Theo freezes for a second as something hits him with a sudden realization, "When did I become such a mother hen?" He mumbles, "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"I don't know Theo what the fuck is wrong with you?" Nolan comes out changed into sweats and a plain shirt.  
"I was talking to myself," Theo says as he gives him his plate of apples and gets Nolan's tea ready.  
"I know, that's why I asked what the fuck is wrong with you," Nolan smirks.  
"Asshole," Theo mumbles and shoves the tea in Nolan's hands making sure he actually grabs it, careful.  
"Thanks mom," Nolan smirks.  
"Don't call me that," Theo scowls.  
"Dad?" Nolan questions.  
"No."  
"Daddy?"  
"I hate you so much, I'm never doing you anymore favors ever again," Theo glares and flips him off.  
Nolan laughs, "But Theooooo," he stretches his name, "who's going to make sure I take my medicine and try to sleep?" Nolan pouts.  
Theo rolls his eyes and goes to the living room ignoring Nolan's laughs echoing the kitchen. He gets the controllers and flipped through the games interesting Halo in the Xbox while waiting for Nolan. He turns on the game and got comfortable while waiting. Nolan comes in with his tea and apples and places them on the coffee table. Theo hands him the controller and they started playing.

It's unusually quiet when they are playing when usually it has Nolan cursing and trying to take away the controller from Theo or Theo cursing and throwing pillows and shoving Nolan off the couch. But now Nolan was silent and it's making Theo uncomfortable. Nolan looks more tired than usual and looks gloom and upset. After a few minutes, he gets frustrated and pauses the game.  
"Alright what's up? Why are you silent?" Theo asks.  
Nolan huffs, "it's nothing, Theo let's get back to the game."  
"No it's not nothing. Is it your sleeping? Are you having one of your bad days?" Theo asks.  
Nolan shakes his head, "No, no it's none of that."  
"What is it? You look like shit, you do know you can tell me anything," Theo says.  
"I know I can, it's hard to tell anyone anything. I mean I'm trying to trust more. Ugh Theo It's just in group we were talking about relationships and kissing and sex, I mean I already know I'm asexual so I don't care much about sex. You know? I can live without it and if I would have it, it would be with someone I connect with, that I truly love and care about. But I never had my first kiss and I am 20 years old. I feel like a loser and pathetic for not even knowing what it feels like to kiss someone," Nolan explains, "I know it's stupid and I shouldn't care what others think and feel pressured but I just can't help it. It makes me feel like shit. Like everyone in group had their first kiss even that fucking asshole Gabe and me, I'm a piece of shit who doesn't even know what it feels like to have lips pressed against another".  
Nolan pouts and looks like a kicked puppy, Theo actually feels bad. Nolan should have had his first kiss at least, it surprises him he hasn't.  
"Hey you don't have to have your first kiss now, you should do it when you're ready. Do it when meet the right person," Theo pats Nolan's back, "I'm surprised you haven't had your first kiss," he jokes.  
"That's it, I don't want to be inexperienced when I do meet the right person, I want to know how to kiss someone. I don't want to be lousy and bad at it," Nolan explains, "also no I didn't have it, I mean people tried to kiss and touch me, but I always made an excuse or pushed them away," Nolan shrugs.  
"That makes sense but are you sure you want to do that? I mean your first kiss should be with someone you care about. Also want me to kick to the ass of those who tried to touch you?" Theo teases.  
Nolan blankly stares and chuckles, "Who was your first kiss?" Nolan asks.

Flashes of his first kiss appears and he grimaces at the thought of him. Disgusting. Worthless. Sickening.

_"What the hell Theo?! You're a boy and I'm a boy. Boys aren't supposed to kiss other boys. That's gross and wrong! You're being disgusting"._

"It was," Theo clears his throat, "it was someone not important anymore to me."  
"See? Even you kissed someone you once cared about-" then his eyes widened as if he realized something, "Theo!"  
Theo looks at him and arches his brow, "Yes?"  
"You can be my first kiss," Nolan smiles wide as if the thought of the best plan ever.  
"What? No," Theo says.  
"What? Why not? We care about each other and we are friends, it wouldn't change anything," Nolan explains.  
"I know but we are friends, it's awkward," Theo reasons.  
"Please Theo, I want my first kiss to be with someone I care about and that's only you," Nolan pouts and puts his hands up to beg, "Please".  
Theo groans and palms his forehead. As much as he feels good that Nolan cares about him, he believes Nolan's first kiss should be with someone he cares deeply for and is fond of. Theo feels like shit and worthless and for Nolan to want his first kiss to be with Theo? That's surprising and shocking to him. But then he thinks about how grateful he would be if his first kiss would be with someone he cared about. If his first kiss was with someone that cared about him, too and didn't look at him disgusting. "Fuck fine fine. I'll help you but you can't fall in love with me," Theo teases, smirking.  
Nolan scoffs, "Yeah right, you'll always be my friend."  
Theo nods, "Good now come closer, come on," he pats the space next to him.  
Nolan smiles wide and sits next to him, "okay now what?"  
Theo smirks, "You should stop smiling it'll ruin the kiss and you wouldn't be able to kiss properly. Unless you guys are sappy idiots and are so happy to be together and all that shit".  
Nolan nods and tries to stop smiling, after a few minutes he finally stops even though it takes a while, "Okay now that we finally got that settled let's move on. Now depending on who the person is and what you like, position your arms either on the waist, face, hair or even around the person's neck," Theo explained.  
Nolan nods along transfixed on learning, looking like an excited puppy.

"Now for me, I'm more comfortable or well like when someone puts their arms on my waist or hair, either one is fine," Theo informs Nolan.  
Nolan thinks for a moment and actually looks like he's calculating where to place them and settles on Theo's waist.  
"You sure you want to place them there?" Theo teases.  
Nolan looks like he's thinking for a moment and nods, "Yes, wait," he places them comfortably, "Yes..yes I'm sure."  
Nolan nods confirming and Theo shakes his head, "Okay weirdo now I'm going to place my hands on your face to guide you, got it?"  
Nolan nods and Theo places his hands on Nolan's face making sure he was comfortable, "You good?" Theo asks.  
He doesn't want Nolan to feel awkward or uncomfortable when they're doing this because then they could stop, doesn't matter.  
"I'm good, nervous but good," he says.  
"Don't be, we're friends and if it's bad it doesn't matter because it's me and I won't judge," Theo says, trying to comfort him.  
Nolan rolls his eyes, "Theo I'm fine now kiss me."  
Theo chuckles, "Alright alright someone's a little bossy but first you gotta know this. Make sure your lips follow mine okay, whatever my lips are doing, you do. Tilt your head just a bit," he tilts Nolan's head just a bit, "there ya go. Now don't open your mouth unless you're planning on using tongue and we aren't so keep your lips closed and just a bit parted like that, good. Now when I lean in just do whatever I do. Got it?" Theo explains.  
Nolan looks like a nervous kitten but determination fills his eyes and he nods.  
"Good now make sure your eyes are closed, don't leave them open, that's creepy," Theo says.  
"Alright," Nolan whispers and shuts his eyes.  
"Don't close so tight, you'll hurt yourself," Theo chuckles.  
Nolan opens his eyes to glare then softly shuts his eyes.

Theo leans in and closes his eyes last minute and presses his lips against Nolan's. He softly moves his lips and waits for Nolan to move and finally when Nolan gets over his shock, he starts to move. Nolan is lacking rhythm and the kiss is pretty sloppy, but he's new so Theo will try to be patient. Theo nibbles his lips and Nolan gasps and pulls away a bit, "That's a new trick, you try," Theo chuckles before leaning in again.  
Nolan kisses back and nibbles his lips, it's awkward but at least he's practicing now. Nolan kisses back and bites Theo's bottom lip and Theo hums approving, alright at least now he's getting the hang of it. They pull away when they need to breathe and Nolan's lips are red, Theo laughs and says, "You look like you've been thoroughly fucked,"

Nolan laughs loudly at that and takes his hands off Theo's waist, "Thanks so do you," he smirks.  
"What can I say? I've been thoroughly kissed," Theo shrugs.  
"So how was I?" Nolan asks.  
"Sloppy and had no rhythm at all," Nolan looks about crestfallen, "but I bet if you practiced more, you'll get the hang of it," Theo says.  
Nolan smiles, "Awesome, you're a good kisser," Nolan compliments.  
"I know I am," Theo teases.  
Nolan groans, "Shut it with that ego, you're my first kiss I can't compare you to anyone else," Nolan points out.  
"Please you wouldn't be able to, I'm the best out there," Theo scoffs.  
Nolan snorts, "Yeah sure, but seriously thank you for the help."  
"You're welcome, now let's continue Halo because I am definitely kicking your ass," Theo throws Nolan the controller who drops it on the ground before he sheepishly grabs it.

"Dumbass," Theo rolls his eyes.  
Nolan shoves him off the couch, "oof," Theo falls and groans as looks up at Nolan, glaring as Nolan laughs.  
"I'm never giving you life lessons ever again," Theo says.  
"Aw no, Theo please. I need your guidance and wisdom, don't do this to me. Your one good friend. Please no," Nolan sarcastically says with a stone faced expression.  
"Dickwad," Theo grunts.  
"But you still hang out with me and stay with me," Nolan smirks.  
"Sadly," Theo grunts and sits next to Nolan, punching his shoulder.  
"Ow," Nolan grumbles and rubs his shoulder.  
Theo shushes him, "Shush, game. Now," Theo turns to the TV ignoring Nolan's glare and unpauses the game.  
They spend the rest of the night playing video games till it hits way past midnight.

"Nolan it's getting real late," Theo comments.  
Nolan sighs, "I know, it's still hard to sleep even with the pills, they rarely help. They make me sick mostly and feel like I'm drowsy, can you sleep over tonight?"  
"Of course, come on I'll help you sleep. I found out a new strategy that I hope will work, if not we can keep trying," Theo gestures to bedroom.  
"Go get ready for bed while I get ready for you to try this," Theo says.  
Nolan nods and heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth while Theo gets out headphones and an iPod filled with soft sounds of rain, waves, animal sounds, and classical music. They were all listed separately but play after the other album finishes. He hums in approval, therapists never tried this on Nolan because they figured it would never work. It doesn't hurt to try though.  
Nolan gets out and spots the headphones and iPod and raises a brow, "What's this?"  
"Well I figured since therapists never tried this, we might as well and it might work it might not. Doesn't hurt to try, right? I know you can't sleep and pills barely help and makes you more tired so I figured this might help," Theo explains.  
Nolan stares for a second before he breaks into a wide smile and crosses over to hug Theo tight, "Thank you, Theo," he whispers.  
Theo hugs back with one arm and pats his back awkwardly uncomfortable, "No problem, man now get in bed and I'll show you how to set it up and then we'll see if it works. If not, then I'll try to find more ways," Theo says.  
"Theo you don't have to, you already tried a lot," Nolan says while getting in bed.  
"And I'll keep trying come on you're my friend, of course I'll keep trying," Theo smirks.  
"I'm your friend? Oh, thank god," Nolan sighs and lays in bed.  
Theo chuckles and shakes his head, "You're an absolute idiot," he says as he explains the set up and what to press.  
Nolan nods along and Theo places the headphones on his head and asks if he's comfortable when Nolan says he is, Theo presses play and makes sure the volume is just right where it's more relaxing. Nolan softly smiles at Theo and Theo ruffles Nolan's hair before making sure the headphones are good and music is played and on replay. He waves goodnight and heads to the guest room to sleep.

He tosses and turns and it takes him a while to head to bed because he fears the nightmares will come to him. He doesn't want to wake up screaming and sweating, he'll possibly wake up Nolan and Nolan doesn't need that. Maybe he should take Zoloft but he hates how drowsy and dead he feels, he always feels like shit taking them. Pills always make him feel like shit, he wants to throw them all away even if it helps him feel better. He doesn't care about getting better, he just wants fucking sleep. He wants to sleep and never wake up. He punches the pillow to somehow make it softer and groans. He hates this so much. He can sleep, he just fears the nightmares that plague his mind. They still come back most of the time and he never expects when they come. They come more than they don't and he hates it so much. Group therapy helps just a bit and he hates it does. He hates he's getting better sometimes for some reason his twisted mind likes being sick and feeling like shit. He never understood it. It was like he was split in two: one where he wants to heal and get better and the other side where he enjoys being sick, enjoys biting his nails bloody, biting his arms till they bleed and leave marks, and throwing up his meals because sometimes it's too much for him and the nightmares that haunt him. After a couple of hours, he finally falls into a deep sleep.

 _"Theodore Karl Raeken! Get your ass over here!" He hears his father scream and he cowers in fear._  
_He slowly gets out of his room and walks to his father eyes downcast, "Yes sir?"_  
_"What is the meaning of this bullshit?" His dad angrily spits venom at him._  
_Theo finally looks up and sees his father is holding a doll, "It's a doll, sir"._  
_"Why the fuck is it in your room when we have when I asked your sister who it belongs and she claims it's not hers," Theo can smell the bad smell, he doesn't like that smell._  
_"It's uh its mine. Brenda said that I can have it because I thought it was cool," Theo explains._

 _His father throws the doll hitting Theo in the face and Theo yelps, surprised. He feels blood dripping down his nose and chin; he feels his father grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and drags him till he's in his face. Theo can smell the bad drink in his breath. It smells disgusting and he hates when his father smells like that because then that means bad things happen. It reeks out of his mouth and he doesn't like it at all, he scrunched his noise in disgust. Horrible things happen way worse then when he doesn't smell like that. He hates when bad things happen. He whimpers and his father snarls._  
_"No fucking son of mine is going to be a faggot and acting like a fairy," his father yells in his face._  
_"Sir, I'm sorry," Theo whispers._  
_He didn't understand what those words meant but the way his dad said it made him think he never wants to be called that or wants to be like that ever._  
_His father throws him to the ground, "Fucking fairy I'll teach you a lesson."_  
_"No sir, please. I learned no more dolls ever again," Theo begs with tears streams down his face._  
_Where is his mommy and Tara? Are they home? Why aren't they coming? Why don't they ever come when this happens? Why do they always disappear when he needs them?_  
_He sees his father walking over to grab the belt and Theo can feel more tears stream down his face, "Sir please. I won't do it again. Please please."_  
_He can feel the belt already and it hasn't even touched his skin yet. He can feel his marks already burning and the belt hasn't even touched them yet._  
_His father walks towards him with the belt in his grip and Theo cowers in fear, ready for the pain._

Theo wakes up drenched in sweat with tears streaming down his face. He starts to shake and can't seem to stop. Fuck fuck. He takes deep breathes to calm himself down and thinks about something anything to help him feel better. He thinks about his books, his friendship with Nolan, and the quotes to help calm him down anything anything. He thinks about his truck, his shows, anything to help. Nothing. Nothing is helping.

In and out

In and out.

In and out.

He touches his scars to remind himself he's here. Now. He rubs them in circles, he's here. He's here. **He can't hurt him anymore.** **He's gone.** Theo is here, alive. He's far away from them. **He can't hurt him, he's gone. Gone. Gone.** No one can get to home, no one is coming for him. **He's not coming for him.** Finally after a couple of agonizing minutes, he calms himself down and gets out of bed. He walks over to the kitchen and grabs an apple and gets a peach out for Nolan. Nolan still didn't get out of bed, he hopes it's because he's asleep and nothing else. He looks at the time: 8:56AM. Too fucking early for this shit. He munches on his apple and walks over to Nolan's bedroom, knocking softly on the door and slowly opens it, making sure it's appropriate to do so. He sees Nolan sleeping soundly with the headphones on and smiles at that. The bags under his eyes and the hollowness in his cheeks are prominent and he can't help but feel the sadness in him. He swallows it down and makes sure everything is okay. He makes sure he's sleeping peacefully paying attention to his facial features before he softly closes the door and puts the peach away. He eats his apple thinking about how even though he started this morning shitty and horrible, seeing a strategy he searched up and tried to get for it to work like this work even if it's temporary is a huge success and can't help the smile that spreads.

Theo spends the rest of his time reading and using his phone while watching television. When the time hits 12:32PM Theo is on the couch reading the third book of Games of Thrones when Nolan comes out, groggily and bleary eyed.  
"Hey, sleeping beauty. You actually slept," Theo smiles as he bookmarks the novel and places it next to him.  
Nolan smiles wide, "Yeah thanks so much, the music actually helped. It was so soothing and calming".  
"I'm glad, you deserve a good nights rest more than anyone," Theo smirks.  
"Yeah yeah," Nolan smiles.  
Theo can tell there's a small difference. Though he still has eye bags and the sullen look, there's a bit of relief in his eyes and he looks a bit more refreshed than he did yesterday. Theo smiles softly at that, that he helped a bit and makes him feel he's actually helpful in some way.  
"Remember it won't all the time, okay?" Theo states.  
Nolan rolls his eyes, "I know it won't, my insomnia can't go away that easily and if it doesn't work on some days, I'll just lay in bed the whole time trying to get to bed and tossing around and slowly dying or I'll drink myself silly with tea, coffee, and monster. I have a whole lot of it," Nolan shrugs.

Theo is glad Nolan looks actually well rested and feeling better than he did yesterday. He's glad he actually helped and was useful for once in his life. He felt like he actually helped and thankful he succeeded and managed to make Nolan a bit happy and have a good nights rest since he knows Nolan rarely ever sleeps and on rare occasions he does, he wakes up panting and sweating from a dream he doesn't even remember. He stays up hours after that surviving off tea, which makes no sense since it doesn't even keep him awake, and sometimes coffee and monster drinks. He shakes his head at Nolan's bad habits but he knows he's being a hypocrite considering he also has his demons to battle. He grimaces at his hands, disgusted at his bitten bruised bled nails.

"Theo," Nolan softly says.  
"Yeah?"  
"I just want to thank you again for teaching me how to kiss," Nolan smiles.  
"It's no problem, better than my first kiss," Theo smiles bitterly.  
He hates thinking about his first kiss, he hates the way it felt and who it was with. He hates the way it made him feel after and what it caused. He hates it so much. He regrets mentioning it and tries not to panic as Nolan looks at him with his head tilted, calculating.  
"You never told me about your first kiss," Nolan says.  
"And I never will," Theo points out.  
Nolan looks at him for a couple of seconds, taking in his sunken eyes and hollowed out cheeks with deep dark eye bags. He nods his head, "okay you don't have to".  
Theo nods, "okay thank you".  
"Don't thank me for not forcing you to tell me. No one should have to force you to do anything, sounds like me being a hypocrite since I was forced into a lot of things and accepted them but still. Don't let anyone force you to do anything," Nolan advices.  
'Too late for that,' he thought bitterly.  
He could feel the hands on his shoulders shoving him and taste the blood in his mouth.

He remembers his first kiss so vividly it's like it happened yesterday. He could hear the words so clear it's like they're screaming right in his face just like they were 8 years ago.

_"What the hell Theo?! You're a boy and I'm a boy. Boys aren't supposed to kiss other boys. That's gross and wrong! You're being disgusting"._

Disgusting

Disgusting

Sometimes he can still hear those exact words in his head when he looks into the mirror ringing in his ears like a broken record player.

Disgusting.

He hates those words. He hates how true they are and how deep into the abyss in his mind he's fallen where the only comfort he feels is when he hears those words. He knows he's sick, he feels sick and disgusting and like a mistake. He knows he's a mistake and doesn't belong in this world. He finds comfort in those words, he calms at those words and it's the worst thing he's ever felt. He hates the fact that for him to feel good he'll have to feel shit about himself.

Sometimes he's scared to get better, he doesn't want to get better. He worries the day he will and what then? What will he do? Who will he become? His pain and suffering is like a security blanket and he can't help but get comfortable. He wants to stay in there, warm and familiar. His hands start to fidget and he gets uncomfortable. He's nervous and hates this feeling, hates feeling uncomfortable and doesn't like the way he is. The way he's acting, he's surprised Nolan hasn't left. Everyone always leaves eventually. His parents. Tara. Scott. Stiles. Josh. They all leave, they can't handle Theo. Theo is too much baggage, he's too much for them, too many problems and they don't find him even worth being around them. He doesn't deserve to have friends. He doesn't deserve to have Nolan as a friend, he's waiting for the other shoe to drop when Nolan realizes what a mess Theo really is, a huge mess with too many problems. Which is the worst because that's what brought Theo and Nolan together to become friends. Both are familiar with grief aching in every fiber of your bones making it hard to move, hard to function. He doesn't realize he's biting his arm to control his tears till he feels someone taking it out.

"Theo!" Nolan says and yanks his arm out of his mouth.

 

Theo snaps out of it and looks down at his arm, it left a deep mark and red all around it. The mark itself is red and shaped into a mouth and it feels good. Theo feels good and is calm now. He is okay for now, the pain helped him come back to his senses. It helped him see that he has to be calm to remain in control. That's all it is, control. He needs to control himself and not to do this in front of Nolan. He looks at Nolan apologetically and shrugs, "Sorry, Nolan. I didn't mean to scare you," and he didn't want to scare Nolan, Nolan doesn't need that problem when he already has so many.

"Who cares about me, are you okay?" Nolan asks with concern.

Theo doesn't like this, doesn't like that Nolan is acting concerned when he shouldn't. He shouldn't care at all and it's making his hands shake. He shoves them in his pocket and smirks, "yeah, Nolan, just had a small breakdown," he chuckles.

Nolan looks at him worried, "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"

Theo shakes his head, "no".

He doesn't need anyone worrying, he can take care of himself. He doesn't deserve this kindness. He doesn't deserve people who treat him like this, it's uncomfortable. it has his hands shaking and his head aching. He doesn't like when they act like they care. He knows they're lying, they always lie. As he ignores Nolan's other questions, he goes to the guest room because he's tired. He's so tired and his hands won't stop shaking, itching to be bitten, to be scratched at. Anything. As he walks all he hears are the voices in his head that scream at him all the time and fill his head. Theo never knew what silence was, never knew the definition because he, himself, never experienced it. 

**Worthless. Disgusting. Scum of the earth. Sickening. You deserved to die, not him. It was you who should've died that day.**

As he bites his nails and arms till they bleed and leave new marks, all he can think of is, 'I should've died instead, it was me that should've died'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter took a mind of it's own. I honestly wanted it to be soft and cute, but this happened and I like it. Remember they are both depressed especially in this point in their lives, they're worse than now. Theo is feeling all this and it hurts. For the biting, I know what that feels like so that's why I added it same for the biting nails. I use bold for certain thoughts and italics for flashbacks, memories, and dreams. So yeah I do apologize for being so depressed and emo but it took over and I couldnt stop.  
> IF THERE ARE ANY ERRORS PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN FIX IT!!  
> Thank you all.


	6. Sexuality: December, 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tracy wonders why Theo and Nolan aren't dating and they break it down for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS:  
> -Theo remembers the abuse he went through (a bit of it)  
> -Cursing
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING! IF ANY MISTAKES, TELL ME AND ILL FIX IT

"Theo"  
"Theo"  
"Theo"  
"Theo"  
Theo opens his eyes and glares at Nolan.  
"What the fuck do you want?" He snarls and glares at Nolan.  
Nolan puts his arms up in surrender and cautiously walks up to Theo. "You look like you're one second away from murdering everyone in our bakery. Now I would help you bury the bodies, don't get me wrong, but we can't murder our customers and we can't do it here. Too suspicious and we actually need customers for this bakery to stay open unless we are going to run away then I'd have to pack up my clothes and extra cash and we would also have to burn the bodies. To burn the bodies, we would have to cut off their nails because skin cells from us which FBI can use as DNA samples, take out teeth so they wouldn't identify the body, pour acid and sodium I think nitrate or hydroxide or is it peroxide? I don't know we'll search it up. Then then, we have to get rid of any evidence and burn their bodies somewhere far away from our homes and bakery. Then done and we live forever in guilt and self loathing even more," Nolan explains.

"It's cool and scary how much you know that and it sort of freaks me out but I'm also intrigued," Theo smirks.  
"What can I say? I've done my research. Also I binge watch Criminal Minds like crazy so I know what I'm saying, I hope," Nolan shrugs.  
Theo chuckles shaking his head.  
"What's wrong? You seem down," Nolan asks.  
"I didn't get any sleep last night, had a nightmare or well basically a flashback," Theo sighs staring at his nails, bitten till there's only skin.  
"Do you want to talk about it or do you want to bake chocolate chip cookies?" Nolan asks.  
Theo smirks, best thing about Nolan is he doesn't push you and waits till you're ready to tell him or he just comforts you and you don't ever have to tell him. Though Theo does tell him, 99.1% of the time at least.  
"Chocolate chip cookies for now," Theo squeezes Nolan's shoulder as a thank you and Nolan smiles back.

They go to the kitchen and Nolan helps Theo make his famous homemade cookies by kneading the dough and making sure it's flat but also fluffy enough for the cookies like Theo taught him, it's the only thing he can do that's right. Theo plays 'Back in Black' by AC/DC and sings along while telling Nolan what to do. He never lets Nolan bake the cookies with him and mix it because he likes to mix it himself and he has to add the special ingredient without Nolan taking a peek. Nolan wouldn't do that only if he's teasing but Theo is always paranoid of it and prefers to do that on his own. They work in sync and silently as the music blasts through the kitchen helping Theo calm down from his nightmare he had last night.

He remembers the cigarette burns touching his skin, burning him till he's crying. His father never left it on his skin too long for it to scar, he didn't want anyone suspicious. He would leave it for approximately two seconds then move on to another body part till Theo is sobbing and begging. Begging for the pain to stop, begging for forgiveness he knew his father wouldn't accept. After his sister died, his father sometimes left it too long for them to scar, he didn't care anymore. But Theo didn't have to worry, he thought bitterly, his mother always made sure it wouldn't stay long and tried to make it go away as quick as possible. She didn't want people to think wrong of their family and get worried. Theo didn't notice he was furiously using the whip and causing the ingredients to come out of the bowl till he hears Nolan calling his name a couple of times and feels him touching his shoulder.

"Theo? You okay?" Nolan looks at him with concern.  
It made feel Theo even worse for having others worry about him. He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve to have anyone worry about him.  
"Yeah, yeah I'm good," Theo shrugs Nolan's hand off his shoulder.  
"Are you sure?" Nolan asks.  
"Yes Nolan, I'm fucking fine. Now drop it," Theo snarls.  
Nolan looks hurt and disappointed and Theo feels bad and the guilt eats him up. He deeply sighs, "Nolan I really don't want to talk about it, okay? I'm sorry," Theo says.

Nolan nods and smiles, "alright grumpy face, let's start baking and making bread," he turns and begins to make his third batch of the day.  
Theo lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding, once again thankful Nolan doesn't push. He cleans up his mess and begins a new batch, making sure he's careful and doesn't ruin it.

After a half hour or so, Tracy comes into the kitchen while Theo is showing Nolan a better way to make the bread softer and fluffier that he learned online.  
"Theo I got this, I like my bread like this," Nolan pouts.  
"I know dumbass, but this way it's softer and fluffier. I'm just making a suggestion," Theo shrugs.  
Nolan rolls his eyes, "I know but don't worry about it," Nolan smirks.  
Theo nods and shrugs, "well I tried to help and I failed".  
"You didn't fail. You just helped in the wrong area, dipshit, help me bake cookies and cook and actually teach me".  
"Yeah like you're any good at baking let alone cooking," Theo shoves him playfully and Nolan throws flour in his face.  
They start to throw flour at each other and Theo grabs a honey bottle and squeezes and pours some on Nolan's face. Nolan gasps and grabs chocolate syrup, ready to attack when Tracy interrupts.

"Why aren't you guys dating?"  
They both freeze and see Tracy looking at them smiling, they then realize they're covered in flour and mouths agape.  
Theo shakes off the surprise and clears his throat, "what do you mean?"  
Tracy smiles, "I mean why aren't you two dating?"  
"Because I have a boyfriend," Theo blushes.  
"And the fact we are best friends," Nolan points out.  
"Exactly, we have no romantic feelings towards each other," Theo says.  
Nolan nods, agreeing.  
"But you guys are both good looking and would be hot together, so why aren't you together?" Tracy smirks.  
Nolan shakes his head, "As gorgeous Theo is, I dont have that sort of emotionally romantic connection with him. Since I'm demisexual, we are only best friends and would stay just friends because I don't share that romantic bond with him. Besides he's madly in love with Liam and also I don't care much about sex, Theo looovvvees sex," Nolan shrugs stretching out the word, 'love'.  
Theo chokes on air and coughs for a second before he can catch his breathe, "Okay first of all, those are in fact true. Nolan and I never saw nor will we see each other that way, he is also in fact pretty and beautiful," Nolan smiles and blushes at the compliment, "but he's demisexual which means he'd have to form a strong romantic bond and we never had that sort of bond. Only friendship. Second I don't looooovvveeee sex, you're making me sound like some sort of horny asshole. And third of all, I'm not in love with Liam, we've only been dating for three months, well it'll be three months next week, point is too soon to love each other," Theo argues.

Nolan smiles at him and turns to Tracy, "hey isn't it like some known fact that if you have a crush on someone for more than three months it means you're in love with them?"  
Tracy laughs and opens her mouth to answer when Theo groans, "Dude how would you know if it's true? You're fucking demisexual, you'd have to form a bond with someone for who knows how long before you fall in love with them. It's not even a fact since there are people who are demisexual, aromantic, asexual, and others I can't remember at the moment. You guys don't fall easily and take a while even when you develop a crush. At least that's what I heard, I don't want to insult you guys and get it all wrong," Theo explains.  
"Well aromantics don't even develop crushes really, they prefer friendships and other non romantic relationships. Asexuals can develop crushes, they just don't care much for sex and depending on who you are: a person would either have sex once in a while or not at all. There's gray asexual and demisexual. I'll explain it to you when we don't have customers in the bakery and we are off work," Nolan explains to Theo and Tracy.  
"Wow Theo you know a lot about different types of sexuality," Tracy comments.  
"Yeah well of course, I want to understand more about my sexuality and I didn't know at first the meaning of what Nolan's was exactly so I had to do my research and I wanted to learn more about the LGBTQ community so that's what I did," Theo shrugs.

"So wait Nolan what's your sexuality? I know Theo is gay, what about you?" Tracy asks, curious.  
"I'm a demisexual pan," Nolan smiles.  
"Pan? As in pansexual?"  
"No, as in an actual pan," Nolan stares at her with the bitch face.  
Theo starts laughing and then Nolan cracks a smile and starts laughing with him.  
"Shut the fuck up, Nolan. You, too Theo," Tracy glares while Theo and Nolan laugh.  
Theo and Nolan continue to laugh for a few more seconds till they finally calm down, chuckling a bit.  
"I'm kidding Tracy you know I love you. It's pan as in pansexual, yeah," Nolan chuckles.

"Oh okay so I have a question, what's the difference between bisexual and pansexual?" Tracy acts curious.  
"Everyone always asks that, they should search it up instead," Theo says.  
"True they really should educate themselves but I'll tell you Tracy since I actually like you," Nolan says.  
Tracy rolls her eyes, "alright continue".  
"Well you see pansexual is when you like any gender at all like: bisexual, lesbian, pansexual, transgender, cisgender, intersex, and androgynous people. Regardless of gender identity and sex, it doesn't matter to me. Now bisexual is when you're attracted to either girls or guys, that's it," Nolan explains.  
"Oh okay so you're demisexual which means you only fall for someone if there's some sort of emotional romantic connection?," Nolan nods, "so is that why you're pansexual? Because you don't care who you fall for since you can fall for anyone".

Nolan thinks about that for a few seconds, "well yes and no. Yes, because I honestly don't care about gender identity and sex, it never mattered to me. No because I'm demisexual not because I'm pansexual. I'm demisexual because I'm born this way and I've never fallen for someone without feeling something and I've only ever fallen for two people, both which never were made into something more than just friends or acquaintances. But that's life," Nolan shrugs.  
"Oh my god that's so sad, I'm sorry who were they?" Tracy asks concern and upset flooding her face, "Of course only if you want to tell me, you don't have to".  
"It's fine it was a while ago. One of them preferred to use the pronouns them/they and they were wonderful and sweet. They truly did care about me and we would've been something, but they were going through a tough time and needed to figure stuff out, so I let them. We left on good terms and I hope they are happy now and found what they're looking for," Nolan smiles a bit, "the other one identified as him/he. He is a sweetheart, but can be an asshole when provoked. He never did like me that way and he most likely never will because he is aromatic which, I'll admit hurt a bit, but I accept it and still am his friend, he is kind and likes to hang out and we both like to play lacrosse so it's all good," Nolan smiles.  
"Wait so you're still friends with him?" Tracy asks, "You don't like him anymore or something?"  
"Yes of course, I'm not going to stop being friends with him because he can't help but not be able to form romantic relationships. It's who he is and always will be. I'm over him now, it happened when I was around 18, it's been two years," Nolan shrugs.

"Wow Nolan you're so understanding," Tracy teases and bats his eyes.  
Nolan chuckles, "Tracy won't let me be serious," Nolan smiles and turns to Theo.  
"Actually I can let you be serious considering we have had plenty of serious conversations," Tracy gives him a look and Nolan nods, "and besides there's flour in your hair and honey on your face, how can you guys have a serious conversation covered in that, I don't understand".  
Theo and Nolan look at each other and notice they are indeed still covered in flour and there is honey on Nolan's cheek. Theo chuckles and grabs a towel throwing it on Nolan's face who almost drops it before picking it up. "Dumbass," Theo whispers.

Nolan pauses, "Wait Tracy who's outside taking care of the customers?"  
Theo freezes and turns to Tracy, "Yeah who's outside?"  
Tracy chuckles, "don't worry, Corey is out there still taking care of them".  
Nolan sighs and rolls his eyes, "Tracy you left Corey out there to fend for himself to make and take the orders?"  
Tracy rolls her eyes, "It's a slow day don't worry, he'll survive," Tracy shrugs.  
"Tracy leave and go help Corey while Nolan and I clean up," Theo states sternly.  
Tracy scoffs and leaves.  
"I wonder why we hired her sometimes," Nolan chuckles.  
"Because she is our friend and also she knows how to make coffee and use the coffee maker," Theo points out.  
Nolan smirks, "oh yeah, right".

After they clean up, they decide to clean up the kitchen with Metallica blasting in the background. "Oh Theo?"  
"Yes Nolan?"  
"How is Liam? I mean you mentioned him but that's about it," Nolan says.  
Theo smiles, "he's doing really good, he has finals in a few weeks so he's busy studying and then he has work. We can only do messages and phone calls but we make it work," Theo shrugs.  
"That's good, I'm glad you guys are making it work," Nolan smiles.  
"Well yeah, he only lives an hour away so whatever," Theo tries not to smile.  
"Dude I know you well enough to know that you want to smile and act like a school girl with a crush," Nolan teases.  
Theo glares at him,"shut the fuck up, Nolan. He's a good guy".  
"Sounds like it, wait so you guys have been together for almost three months right?"  
Theo nods. "Why don't you sleepover at his place whenever you visit that way you stay longer?" Nolan asks.  
Theo freezes, fuck. He hoped Nolan or anyone really wouldn't notice. Of course he noticed. "I don't want to be a burden," Theo lies.  
Nolan scoffs, not believing it.

It's partially true, he really doesn't want to be a burden. But he can't help but feel like it's too much for him. Too intimate to sleepover at your boyfriend's place. It's like taking the next step of their relationship and Theo is scared, he's so fucking scared everything in his mind is telling him to run. Run and never come back because it's too much, too soon. He isn't ready, he is too much of a coward. He is so scared of how much he cares for Liam, it has all the red flags in his head flaring. He takes a deep breathe and rubs his thumb against his palm to calm him. They've only been together for almost three months, too soon for sleeping over, yeah that's a good reason. Good reason. He turns and looks at Nolan who looks concerned, he groans.  
"Nolan, stop looking at me like that. I'll murder you,"Theo says.  
"I'm sorry I'm sorry, but you have that look on your face when you're thinking too hard," Nolan says.  
"I am but it's just don't you think this is too soon to even think about sleeping at his place? Too intimate?" Theo wonders.  
"You guys had sex which is a form of intimacy," Nolan points out.  
Theo freezes, "that's different, lots of people have sex and it can mean nothing. I'm not saying the sex we have means nothing, it's just not as intimate as sleeping over at his place," Theo says.  
"I don't have sex, I would want to have sex with someone I actually care and love deeply. Sex is intimacy no matter what because it's two bodies touching and feeling. You guys are at your most vulnerable, it's the definition of intimacy," Nolan says, "then again what do I know? I'm a virgin".  
Theo nods, "You are a virgin, hey at least you're waiting for the one or whatever. That's a good thing, buddy".  
Nolan chuckles, "whatever".

Theo smirks and continues to clean. He isn't worried about sleeping over for that reason only, he doesn't want to accidentally have a nightmare with Liam there. Liam doesn't know much about Theo's past except that he had a rough childhood, ran away, and had to work his ass off by living in his car and a dingy apartment before he is where he is right now. He knows about his scars because he's seen them only once, they have sex in the dark now. He doesn't question it, he knows Theo will tell him when he's ready. Theo doesn't know if he'll ever be ready to tell him that. He can tell him some not all. It hurts to think about sometimes. He doesn't know if Liam will even like him after that, if he'll accept him for who is or he's going to leave him. That thought worries him and clouds his mind sometimes. He tries not to think about it because Liam didn't even mention it, they're boyfriends that's about it. He shouldn't worry himself sick, he needs to control it. The intimacy will come when it comes. He is worried he'll wake up screaming if he has his nightmares sleeping over. Liam has asked him a couple of times when it's late, but Theo just says no and makes up an excuse. He knows Liam gets disappointed and upset each time, but he's too worried about what would happen if he does accept.

He ignores those thoughts and tries to focus on cleaning. Cleaning. Cleaning. For now, cleaning is something he has control over, something he can do. He won't think of the thoughts in his head. He knows he's overthinking every single thought, but he can't help but go back to it. He knows he'll accept the invitation soon when he doesn't feel like a burden, when he doesn't think they're moving too fast. He will, he thinks firmly.  
"I will soon when I know I'm ready," he whispers to himself.

When I'm ready. When I'm ready.

They clean up and go back outside to handle the customers and help their workers. Nolan goes ahead and makes the sandwiches people ordered while Theo takes orders and make their drinks.

"What were you guys talking about in there? I was slaving away and doing all your guys' shit," Corey comments.  
"We were talking about sexuality," Tracy shrugs.  
"Oh I'm gay," Corey says.  
"We know, Corey. It's the first thing you ever said to me," Nolan says.  
"And me," Theo also says.  
"That was three years ago before I had a boyfriend," Corey blushes and looks away.  
Nolan and Theo chuckle, "it's okay Core, I thought it was adorable," Theo teases.  
Nolan nods along, "very cute, that's why we hired you, because you're the cutest," Nolan teases.  
Corey turns red and scoffs, "you guys are the worst ever, horrible bosses".  
"We are the best and you know it," Nolan chuckles.  
"Yeah, Core, we actually have care about you an your needs...somewhat," Theo shrugs.  
Corey shakes his head and ignores them, "I'm going to do what I'm supposed to do and that's my job".

Nolan and Theo laugh and continue on their jobs. Theo makes sure his pastry of the day is not sold out, Tracy comes up behind him. "What's the special of the day?"  
Theo smirks, "Rainbow dumplings stuffed with sliced green apples and hot cheetos on top".  
"That sounds so gross but nice adding the rainbow. It fits," Tracy smiles.  
Yeah, it does fit, he thinks when he gets back to work.

Theo is glad he's reached a point where he isn't afraid to say who he is who he likes. He knows how tough it was for him for years to get over the trauma his father left him. To get over hearing those words over and over again. He sighs as he texts Liam if he can call him tonight, he misses him. 

L: Yeah, we can talk tonight around 8 (:

T: Cool cool

L: I miss you, too

Theo smiles and puts away his phone. Yeah, he'll get there someday to where he will accept the invitation. Where he will be able to not be scared and think of backing out. He knows he'll get there someday, he's hoping Liam would be the one to help him get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked writing this because I do find it an important topic and I feel like they should have discussed it because Nolan is a demisexual pan and not a lot of people are aware of those two, so I decided to add it in. I didn't like the way I ended this chapter but I liked it overall. Next I might do a new years one or one were Theo and Liam are on a double date with Hayden and Gwen.


	7. February 10-14, 2018: Double Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day for Theo is ice skating and going on a double date with Liam and his friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long I'm currently writing three fics including next chapter making it four. I apologize for slacking off. Here is a super long one.  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS  
> -Mentions of self harm  
> -Depressing thoughts  
> -Theo feels he is worthless and useless

"Hey Theo," Liam mumbles against Theo's chest.

 

 

Liam and Theo were over at Liam's place snuggling up on the couch with Mason and Corey watching a movie. They have been watching 'Saw' and Liam was currently pressing his face against Theo's chest trying not to look. They were having an apparent 'double date' with Mason and Corey though they have done this three times so it's really just a hang out. Liam nudged Theo's chest trying to get his attention again.

 

"Yeah sweetheart?" Theo says as he runs his hand through Liam's soft hair.

 

Liam instantly leans into the touch, humming softly. "Remember Hayden and Gwen?"

 

"Yeah, I remember them," he softly murmurs.

 

 

He met Hayden and Gwen a few weeks ago when they decided to 'stop by' Theo's bakery and started asking him about his life and what he does and what his life goals are. At first, Theo thought they were hitting on him and was about to reject them until Hayden realized, rolled her eyes and put her and Gwen's hands up showing that they were together. Theo never wanted to run away until that moment. He remembers turning so red while they chuckled at him. After that, they introduced themselves and said they were friends with Liam and just wanted to check out Liam's boy boyfriend.

 

 

 

Liam pokes Theo's chest making him snap out of it. "Well they wanted to hang out with us like some double date," Liam says.

 

 

 

Theo freezes. A double date? He already met Liam's best friend, Mason and known Corey already for three years but now he has to meet more? Fuck he doesn't know if he can do, what if they don't like him and force Liam to break up with him? They can do that and Liam would listen because they're best friends and they know what's best for him. Theo already doesn't think he deserves Liam and for his friends to realize that and tell Liam. Fuck that would destroy him. His hands start to slightly shake and Liam notices grabbing onto Theo's hands pressing them to his chest, "Theo?" He whispers softly.

 

 

 

Theo doesn't know if he can do this, he is already shaking and they didn't even choose the dates yet. He doesn't know why he's overthinking this, him and Liam have only been together for five months. Even though they were a really really good five months, he shouldn't over analyze this, he should take deep breathes and calm down because it's just Liam's friends. Just Liam's friends.

 

He ignores those thoughts and locks them away.

 

 

 

In and out

 

 

 

In and out

 

 

 

In and out

 

 

 

He turns towards Liam who is looking at him with concern, "yeah sweetheart?" He whispers back.

 

"Are you okay?" Liam says still holding Theo's hands.

 

Theo smiles and kisses Liam's nose, "yeah I'm fine just zoned out for a bit. Going out with Hayden and Gwen sounds like a good idea".

 

Liam blushes, "are you sure? We don't have to you know? I know you get nervous over this stuff and I just want you to know that you aren't forced to do this," Liam squeezes Theo's hands.

 

Theo forces a smile, "yeah don't worry about me, I'll be okay," he squeezes back.

 

Liam looks at him like he doesn't believe him and is about to say something until he gets cut off.

 

 

 

"Hey lovebirds shut up and watch the movie," Mason says and throws popcorn at them.

 

"Shut up, Mason," Liam scowls.

 

Theo chuckles and shoves popcorn in his mouth hoping the twist of knots in his stomach will go away. Liam flips him off and stares at Theo with a calculated gaze that leaves Theo uneasy. He knows it's Liam's 'I'm staring at you till you something is wrong' look, one he's gotten a few thousand times. Theo holds that stare back and he starts to memorize Liam's eyes as he's done a thousand times. His long black eyelashes frame the blueness of his eyes making them pop. Theo could look at his eyes all day. His eyes are like a thousand galaxies and Theo can't help but drown in them. They're an ocean, a galaxy, an explosion of stars and supernovas all clustered in there that Theo can't help but fall and drown in it and hope he never gets out. If there's one thing he would wish for it's for him to drown in Liam's galaxy sky blue eyes and never spring back up. He breaks it by brushing his hand over Liam's eyes as if he can fall into them. Liam blushes and leans in closer, "what are you doing?" He breathes out.

 

"Trying to drown in your eyes, they're a beautiful shade ya know? Like the ocean," Theo whispers back.

 

Theo smiles softly and if Liam used to ignore the sparks flying between them in the beginning, he soon found to be pointless. There was an undeniable pull between them as always and it took all his willpower not to lean in as his heart skyrocketed. Instead Theo leaned in for him and softly kissed him, it was gentle and soft. No heat, no purpose behind it besides the fact that Theo has been wanting to kiss Liam since he came over but only got a peck. Liam kisses back with the same pace, slow and gentle. They soon pull away when they have to breathe, "you'll have to tell me eventually," Liam pants out.

 

Theo nods, "I know".

 

They both know Theo won't bring it up again.

 

 

 

They lean against each other as Liam lays on Theo's back with his arms around Liam's waist. Theo presses a kiss to Liam's hair and he hears Mason and Corey gagging at them.

 

"Oh shut up you guys go on romantic picnics and do cheesy shit," Theo smirks.

 

Mason gasps and turns to Corey who looks sheepish, "I might have told him about our dates".

 

Mason narrows his eyes, "seriously?"

 

"You guys didn't even meet yet. I didn't think it would matter, I didn't know him and Liam would start dating though I always knew they would be cute together because they're both good looking guys but-" Mason cuts him off.

 

"Your boyfriend is right here and you're calling them good looking?" Mason raises his brow.

 

Corey blushes, "you know you're the one I think is the most good looking guy here and besides the other day you called Ezra Miller beautiful," Corey points out.

 

Mason sputters out and opens his mouth but closes it. "Good point," he says and pecks Corey's lips, turning back to the screen.

 

Corey smiles in victory and cuddles up against Mason's side.

 

 

 

"They're so sappy," Theo whispers in Liam's hair.

 

"I know right? Glad we're not like that," Liam says as he laces their fingers together.

 

"You guys are exactly like that," Corey comments.

 

"Stop listening to our conversations you nosy fuckers," Theo says.

 

"Stop being loud," Corey says.

 

"We can't help that our voices are loud," Theo shrugs.

 

"Yeah we are loud people," Liam smirks.

 

"Sadly even in other situations you guys are loud," Mason grumbles.

 

Liam gasps, "that's not true".

 

Theo chuckles, "you are pretty loud sweetheart," he says.

 

"You too, Theo," Liam pokes his chest.

 

"Am not, I'm quiet," Theo lays his head on Liam's.

 

"No you're not, whenever we switch I always have you moa-" Theo cuts him off.

 

"Please don't mention our sex life in front of your friends," Theo says.

 

Liam blushes, "sorry babe and also they are your friends considering you've known Corey for three years," Liam points out.

 

"That's true for the Corey thing but I just met Mason. Also it's okay you can always be as loud as you want, you know I love when I hear that you're enjoying yourself," Theo teases.

 

Liam blushes and opens his mouth to say something till Mason cuts him off.

 

"You guys are both loud now shut the fuck up so we can watch this movie," Mason says.

 

Liam glares at him and wraps himself closer to Theo and whispers, "we may be loud in bed but at least we aren't loud chewing food".

 

 

 

Theo agreed and ran his hand through Liam's hair. They stay in the same position throughout the movie till it finishes. Theo yawns and stretches his arms accidentally hitting Liam in the face. "Ow," Liam grumbles rubbing his temple.

 

"Oh sorry, sweetheart," Theo whispers groggily and kisses Liam's temple.

 

Liam sleepily smiles at him and hums.

 

"I'm going to head home, okay? It's almost midnight and you need your rest," Theo pecks Liam's lips and ruffles his hair before getting up. He waves bye to Mason and Corey who smile at him before going in their room. He grabs his black jacket and walks outside while Liam follows him out. When they reach Theo's truck, Theo feels Liam wrap his arms around his waist pulling him in, chest to back.

 

"Thank you for coming," Liam murmurs in his ear.

 

"Thank you for having me," Theo says.

 

 

 

He turns around so he's facing Liam and wraps his arms around Liam's back pressing him close till their pressed chest to chest. He softly kisses him and runs his hands up and down Liam's back causing goosebumps to rise on Liam's skin. Liam pulls away smiling at Theo.

 

"So should I say yes to Hayden and Gwen?" Liam asks.

 

Theo nods, taking a deep breathe, "yeah yeah tell them we say yes".

 

He can do this. He can meet Liam's friends and hang out with them. He'll do it for Liam because he knows how much this means to him and he wants Liam to know he's in it for their relationship. He doesn't want to show that he's anxious for this, for them. He doesn't want Liam to worry about him, he doesn't deserve that.

 

Liam smiles dopily at him laced with tiredness, "okay," he whispers.

 

Liam hugs Theo tight and squeezes a bit till he lets go and Theo already misses his warmth radiating from his body. He kisses him on more time to feel the softness of his lips and pulls away leaving Liam breathless.

 

"Bye, I'll call you and tell you if they answer," Liam waves from the front steps.

 

Theo smiles and waves back, "bye".

 

"Text me when you get home though," Liam says.

 

Theo nods and hops into his truck, turning it on blasting music. He waves to Liam one last time before driving off.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When he arrives at his apartment, he parks and exits walking towards it. He texts Liam he got home safely and pockets his phone, opening his door. He hears the television on and walks towards the living room where the only source of light is the tv screen. He sees Nolan and Tracy sitting on his couch watching Mean Girls while snacking on popcorn and chips, well Tracy is; Nolan is eating his fucking apples and grapes. "What are you guys doing here?" He asks with his arms crossed.

 

He pointedly looks at them and they jump from their spot and look back, scared till they realize it's Theo and relax a bit.

 

"We are having a sleepover," Tracy says.

 

"I get that, but why place?" Theo says and walks towards them, sitting next to Nolan.

 

"Well we were at Nolan's but he didn't have any junk food at all and Nolan said you have some even though you barely eat it," Tracy explains.

 

Nolan nods along and keeps on munching on his apples. Theo nods, "you guys should've asked you know?"

 

"Yeah but we didn't wanna disturb your time with Liam. You guys are both busy now, with school and college, and barely see each other so we didn't wanna bother you," Nolan explains.

 

Theo chuckles shaking his head, "that's sweet of you guys but we have these movie dates almost every Saturday since he doesn't have school so you guys could have asked," Theo smirks.

 

 

 

Nolan blushes and Tracy sighs, "well we knew you would say no".

 

"You guys know me so well, I would kick you out but it's past midnight," Theo shrugs.

 

Both smile wide, "can we finish the movie?" Nolan asks.

 

"No," Theo shakes his head and grabs the remote, turning it off.

 

Tracy groans and shoves popcorn in her mouth, "you suck Theodore Karl Raeken," she says through her stuffed mouth.

 

"Fucking chew then talk to me, your mom never taught you manners?" Theo scrunches his nose in disgust.

 

Tracy flips him off, "fuck you I'm getting ready for bed, I'll be sleeping in your guest bedroom so you and Nolan can sleep together," she stands up and places the snacks on the table, "now remember boys no touching and no making noises too loud, don't want to cause trouble," she smirks and walks away.

 

"I have a boyfriend," Theo yells out.

 

"I have better taste," Nolan screams.

 

Theo turns towards him with a raised brow, "I'm the hottest person you've ever met," he scoffs.

 

Nolan opens his mouth and closes it, he starts to think for a few seconds then opens his mouth, "damn it you're right".

 

Theo nods his head smiling, "damn straight".

 

"I'm not straight," Nolan says.

 

Theo rolls his eyes and pats his knees, "alright buddy, let's get to bed".

 

"Wait are we actually sleeping in the same bed?" Nolan asks.

 

"We've done it before dude, it means nothing considering we distance ourselves," he says.

 

"I know but you do have a boyfriend won't it be weird?" Nolan ponders.

 

 

 

Theo thinks about it. Would it be weird? He thinks about if he found out Liam and Mason sometimes sleep in the same bed and how he would react. He would get a bit jealous and would wonder why. Would Liam be weirded out? Probably. "Alright I'll sleep on the floor you get the bed," he grabs a pillow and some blankets.

 

"No you get the bed, I'll get the floor," Nolan says.

 

"No you're the guest, I'll get the floor," Theo grunts and goes to his room to set the pillow and blanket on the floor.

 

"Theo seriously I can sleep on the floor, I barely sleep anyways," Nolan says as he walks in.

 

"I don't care you're getting the bed," Theo grabs pajamas for Nolan and hands it to him.

 

"Thank you but seriously Theo I ca-" Theo glares at him, "I swear to god Nolan finish that and I'll tie you to the bed".

 

Nolan smirks, "ohhh kinky Tracy did say to keep it down".

 

Theo rolls his eyes, "sorry but I only do that with my boyfriend," Theo teases.

 

Nolan pretends to look hurt and clutches his chest, "you're cheating on me?"

 

Theo says, "we never were together".

 

Nolan makes a wounded sound, "oh Theo you're so cruel," he falls on the floor, "so cruel I'm going to die of a broken heart".

 

Theo stares at him like he's a dumbass. Nolan pretends to be dead for a few seconds till he opens his eyes and sees Theo just staring at him with a smirk. "Enjoyed watching my death?"

 

Theo nods his head, "every second".

 

"Fuck you, asshole," Nolan gets up and grabs the pajamas Theo gives to him.

 

While Nolan is in the bathroom changing, Theo does the same and makes his little sleeping area more comfortable and makes sure to check if he got messages from Liam. He realizes he got two but never heard them.

 

 

 

L: heyy that's good. Glad you got home safe, babe. (1:50AM)

 

L: Also thank you for agreeing to hang out with my friends, means a lot (: (1:54AM)

 

 

 

Theo smiles a little bit and messages back.

 

 

 

T: Yeah of course. They're your friends, I gotta meet the boyfriend's friends. (2:37AM)

 

 

 

He puts his phone in charger and on silence as Nolan walks out the bathroom. "Alright Nolan when was the last time you slept properly?"

 

Theo notices the puffiness in Nolan's eyes and the grayness under them. He also notices that now he has red dots surrounding his eyes. "Shit Nolan seriously when was the last time you got any good nights rest?" Theo comes closer.

 

He notices how heavy his eyes are because the puffiness got too much at the top making his eyes look smaller. The red dots surround the top lids and a bit on the bottom, Theo knows that's new and caused by his sleepless nights.

 

Nolan sighs deeply and shuffles a bit, "I did sleep but it's only like minutes never hours, I lay in bed for hours but only get minutes of sleep," Nolan murmurs.

 

Theo shakes his head, "that's not good, Nolan, the calming sounds isn't working?"

 

Nolan shakes his head, "I haven't done in weeks," he admits.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because its complicated," Nolan scratches his head.

 

"You can tell me. Come on, you've gotten red dots now surrounding your eyes," Theo points outs.

 

Nolan nods, "yeah I know it's new. It rarely happens only when I am really sleep deprived".

 

"Well that's a huge sign you are, so tell me why haven't you been doing it?"

 

 

 

Nolan deeply sighs, "I want to get better and sleep but I just can't. I sometimes don't even want to get better and the fucking pills they give me make me feel like shit and I hate taking them. I want to sleep and get better, but I feel uncomfortable at the idea of finally sleeping more and better because I'm so used to not sleeping, insomnia is comfortable to me. Actually getting sleep is foreign to me and odd".

 

Theo nods and listens, "I get it Nolan seriously I understand. But you need sleep to stay hydrated and well rested. You need sleep to feel better physically and mentally. Obviously it's going to take a while but you'll get there and I'll help you, don't worry. You just need to try and sleep even if you don't want to, you know it's something you need," Theo explains.

 

Nolan nods, "I know I got some odd mind for not wanting to get better, huh?"

 

Theo shakes his head, "no, don't worry your reasons are understandable".

 

Nolan arches a brow and nods. Theo pats his back and tells him to get on the bed. He hands him a few books to read and his phone just in case he got bored. Nolan smiles at him and Theo lays on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

 

 

 

He thinks about Nolan's words and knows he also has a twisted mind for thinking the same thing. There are moments where he doesn't want to get better, can't think about getting better because then he'll relapse. He worries he'll relapse to his old days where he would bite constantly and scratch his hands and leave marks. He doesn't want to resolve back to those days. He remembers picking at some of the cigarette burns and opening them every time so he can feel the pain because he believes he deserves it, he still feels like he deserves it. At the same time, his twisted head wants to go back to those days, the days he barely slept, the days he picked at his old wounds and scratched and bit whenever he needed control. He still craves the control he seeks for, he needs. To control his temper, control his emotions, his thoughts. Fuck how'd he get like this. He places his hands on his face.

 

"Fuck fuck," he whispers to himself.

 

He hopes Nolan hasn't heard him, that he's too busy sleeping or reading. Fuck why is he like this? Fuck he wasn't supposed to think like this. He had a fun day with Liam, he watched movies with Liam and ate lunch with him. He had a good time with Liam and Corey and Mason. He isn't supposed to be upset right now yet he is laying on the floor fighting the urge to bite and pour the whole bottle of lemon juice on his arm because he wants to feel the burn. Fuck he's supposed to be happy right now. He isn't supposed to be miserable, fuck fuck. He punches his pillow out of frustration and anger at himself and not getting to sleep faster.

 

 

 

"Theo?"

 

Theo turns and sees Nolan peeking his head out of the covers looking at Theo. "Nolan, go to sleep," he whispers.

 

Theo can't see Nolan's face but he just knows he rolled his eyes, "Theo I can't sleep, I haven't been able to sleep properly for the past years," he retorts.

 

Theo opened his mouth but couldn't think of what to say. "Theo what's bothering you? Your thoughts are screaming," Nolan whispers.

 

"Why would you think that?" He whispers back.

 

"You punched the pillow and kept groaning. I thought of two reasons but I went with the safe one," Nolan snickers.

 

 

 

Theo chuckles and sighs, "Liam's friends invited Liam and I to a double date".

 

"Isn't that a good thing? You guys are moving into the relationship and you're meeting Liam's friends," Nolan said.

 

"I know I know but like do you think it's too soon? What if they hate me? What if they make Liam break up with me?" Theo questions.

 

"Theo you're overthinking it way too much. I know you do that a lot but you shouldn't for this, Liam likes you a lot and you like him. It's great he's introducing you to his friends, that means he's committed," Nolan explains.

 

Nervousness fills Theo and it makes his heart beat faster than before. "I'm nervous, really nervous. I'm going to screw up, I always do," Theo whispers.

 

"You're not going to screw up, Theo. You're a charming sweet guy, you're going to do fine," Nolan says.

 

"I hope you're right," Theo whispers.

 

"I'm always right," Nolan says.

 

"We'll talk more tomorrow, sleep now," Nolan whispers.

 

Theo nods even though Nolan can't see and lays at the ceiling and after a while he fades into a deep sleep, fading away into darkness.

 

* * *

 

 

Theo wakes up groggily and yawns sleepily. He checks the time and sees it's 8:48AM and gets up with an ache on his back. Fuck he's never sleeping on the floor ever again, he's going to force Nolan on the floor next time. He gets up and stretches and sees the bed empty with the blanket thrown around and the pillows on the floor. Theo sighs, "guess Nolan couldn't sleep," he whispers.

 

Fuck Nolan is probably watching TV or reading as usual. He makes the bed and puts his blankets and pillow in the closet, shutting it. He goes to the bathroom and washes his face, brushes his teeth and takes a quick shower. After that, he changes into sweatpants and white t shirt. He goes to the living room and sees Nolan watching television while using his phone.

 

"Morning Nolan," he ruffles Nolan's hair and sits next to him.

 

"Morning, slept well?"

 

"Nope, you didn't sleep at all huh?"

 

Nolan shakes his head, "couldn't sleep so I watched television and then I drank some tea and checked all my social media," he explains.

 

"Alright buddy, I'm going to make some breakfast, you want anything?"

 

"Hmm....toasted bagel with cream cheese and a side of apple?" Nolan smiles.

 

"You're obsessed with apples and alright I'll make that and I know Tracy loves chocolate chip waffles so I'll just make that," Theo says and turns towards the kitchen.

 

"You're the best, mom," Nolan teases.

 

"Do you want your bagel or not?"

 

"Sorry sorry I'll try and stop...maybe," he whispers that last part.

 

Theo rolls his eyes and starts to mix the batter for the waffles and adds the chocolate chips and gets the waffle maker ready. Once the waffles are in and baking, he starts on the bagel and places it in the toaster. He gets the cream cheese and apple out and grabs a knife to slice it. Before that, he takes out the waffle and puts in another one and takes out the bagel. He then slices the apples quick and smears cream cheese in the bagel.

 

"Nolan go wake up Tracy for breakfast," Theo calls out.

 

Nolan smiles wide, "woo food!" And runs to the guest room and knocks on the door.

 

Theo ignores that and gets back to removing the second waffle and placing it with the other on a plate. He places the bagel and slice of apples on the other plate and sets the table. He grabs two cups and pours one orange juice and one milk. Nolan and Tracy come in and thank Theo. They dig in and comment how good it is.

 

"Of course it's good, I made it," Theo smirks.

 

Tracy snorts, "okay Theo no need to increase that ego of yours".

 

 

 

Theo winks at her and grabs an apple to eat. Tracy stares at him for a few seconds that make Theo feel uneasy, "is that all you're going to eat?"

 

Theo looks at her confused, "an apple? Yeah".

 

"Huh. How come you don't eat more?"

 

Theo doesn't know what to respond there, he hasn't told her anything from his past except that she knows him and Nolan went to therapy and his old friends. So he lies, "I don't like to eat a huge meal for breakfast, it isn't my thing".

 

She nods and continues eating. Theo lets out a sigh of relief and finishes his apple.

 

"So Theo did Liam say when the double date will be?" Nolan asks as he finishes his bagel.

 

Theo pointedly stares at him. He didn't want Tracy to know and it's not for any reason, he told Nolan in private and was hoping it would stay private. He doesn't like when stuff like this is mentioned in front of others, he's a really private guy. It doesn't matter what topic.

 

"You are going on a double date?" Tracy asks, curious.

 

Theo glares at Nolan and turns to Tracy, "uh yeah with Liam and his friends".

 

"Awesome, good luck. They'll like you," she comments.

 

Theo smiles, "thanks hopefully".

 

Nolan rolls his eyes, "they will, don't overthink this. When you overthink this you always do impulsive things and that leads to trouble".

 

Tracy nods along, "that's true, I was there last time. It was disastrous".

 

Theo groans, "can we not bring that up? I've been embarrassed enough for the rest of my life".

 

Tracy and Nolan laugh and Theo flips them off putting away the ingredients and juice away. He cleans his mess and points at Nolan and Tracy, "both of you are cleaning your dishes or you're never sleeping over at my place ever again".

 

Nolan and Tracy salute him, "yes sir".

 

Theo rolls his eyes and goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Tracy and Nolan leave an hour after breakfast with a thanks and a good luck to the date. Theo turns on some music in the background and decides to clean to distract himself when all he wants to do is check his phone to see when the date and time will be. He turns up the music and keeps cleaning and cleaning. He cleans the sheets, the couch, the floor and changes the sheets and makes sure everything is aligned. He double checks and cleans his bathrooms and bedrooms. By the time he's done, three hours have gone by and it's 1PM only. He needs to do something to distract himself so he doesn't have to constantly check his phone for Liam's call. Before he can come up with something to do, his cell rings. He grabs it quick and answers, "Hello? Liam?" he says fast.

 

"Hey Theo," Liam greets.

 

"Hi," he breathes out smiling.

 

"So Hayden messaged me and she said that we can all go this diner she's in love with on the 14th," Liam says.

 

"The 14th? You mean on Valentine's Day?" Theo wonders.

 

"Valentine's Day is on the 14th? I thought it was the 16th?" Liam says.

 

Theo can imagine Liam thinking about it and most likely checking his calendar, he softly chuckles at that.

 

"No dumbass, it's on the 14th," Theo says.

 

"I'm not a dumbass, I'm highly intelligent".

 

"I'm sure you are, sweetheart"

 

"Asshole"

 

"And yet you're still my boyfriend"

 

"I'm starting to regret that"

 

"Too late to back now, you're trapped"

 

"Fuck you're right"

 

Theo chuckles, "yup sorry, sunshine. You're stuck with me now"

 

Liam hums, "doesn't sound too bad, you are a great boyfriend who cooks".

 

Theo scoffs, "I knew you only went out with me because I cook"

 

"You caught me," Liam snickers.

 

Theo smiles, "so on the 14th? What's the plan?"

 

"Well they'll meet us there around 4PM and we can just arrive at the same time or do you want to go together?"

 

"It doesn't matter to me, honestly you choose whatever you want," Theo absently scratches his thigh quick and hard.

 

"I was thinking we could go together?" Liam says and Theo can detect a hint of nervousness.

 

Why would Liam be nervous?

 

"Yeah, that'd be great," Theo smirks.

 

"Awesome, I'll remind you the day before just in case you forget and we can maybe do something before meeting up with them? Since it's Valentine's Day, we could um..maybe celebrate that?" Theo can definitely hear the nervousness in Liam's tone.

 

"Is Liam Dunbar asking me out on Valentine's Day?" Theo teases.

 

"Fuck you, forget I asked," Liam huffs.

 

Theo chuckles, "aw no sweetheart, don't be like that. I'd like to celebrate the holiday of couples giving each other cringy gifts with stupid flowers and gross heart candy," Theo jokes.

 

"Theo first of all, heart candy is delicious so fuck you. Second of all chocolate is also delicious and you make it at your bakery all the time babe. Third of all, you gave me flowers last week actually specifically gardenias," Liam explains.

 

Theo blushes bright red because he knows the symbolism behind those flowers and so does Liam. He starts to scratch harder and get nervous because of it. He just needs to calm down, it doesn't mean anything that Liam knows, Liam has probably always known. Did he search up the meaning or has he always known?

 

"Did you search up the meaning of the flowers, Liam?"

 

"Uhh...well..uh I maybe did a bit research on it," he clears his throat, "did you know the meaning before you gave them to me?"

 

Theo laughs nervously, "yeah uh..I did know".

 

"Cool that's cool...cool"

 

"Yup"

 

"So I'll see you next week? I'll message you so we can hang out early before we meet up with them," Liam suggests.

 

"Alright sounds like a plan"

  

* * *

 

 

 As the days go by, Theo grows more nervous. He doesn't know what to do to stop the anxiety from running through his body and filling his mind. Fuck, he is so anxious and the date is just tomorrow. Theo hasn't decided what to get Liam for Valentine's since it seems like Liam actually likes the holiday. He deeply sighs as he takes the dumplings out of the oven, making sure they're crisp enough to be served.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

He turns around and sees Nolan leaning on the counter looking at him. Theo places the dumplings on the counter near Nolan and starts to put powered sugar and syrup. He was on his fourth dumpling when he decides to speak up, "The double date thing is tomorrow and Liam wants to go out before meeting them to celebrate Valentine's Day".

 

Nolan cooes, "Awwww how adorable, you guys are such cute boyfriends," he reaches over and pinches Theo's cheeks.

 

Theo slaps his hand away and glares at Nolan, "fuck off, I'm worried because I'll have to get a gift for Valentine's Day and I don't know what to get for my five month boyfriend and also I hate the holiday," he explains.

 

Nolan nods, "well it's just some stupid holiday. Did Liam say he wants anything for Valentine's Day?" Theo shakes his head, "Then get him something small that shows you care but it's not an extravagant gift that means too much like you're in love with him or something. Maybe like heart candy and chocolate or flowers like you always get him," he smirks.

 

Theo groans, "I don't always get him flowers".

 

"Theo I helped you choose the flowers and told you the meaning"

 

"That was only once..."

 

Nolan keeps looking at him with his eye brow raised and Theo huffs, "alright fine it was four times, but still got to think of something other than flowers".

 

"Heart candy and chocolate"

 

"That's so cliche"

 

"Well of course, it's Valentine's Day, everything is a cliche"

 

"Good point"

 

"Just get him heart candy and chocolate or like something else that is better," Nolan shrugs.

 

"Jeez thanks for the help Nolan, I can always count on you"

 

Nolan winks and heads back outside to help out Tracy and Corey. Theo shakes his head and gets back to baking. He is testing out a treat for Valentine's Day and wants to sell it tomorrow. It's dumplings stuffed with grapefruit and strawberries with pink powdered sugar on top and chocolate syrup. He needs a taste tester and all three are busy. He can try it himself, but he needs another opinion.

 

"Hey babe"

 

Theo jumps and turns around and sees Liam. What the fuck. "What the fuck Liam? What are you doing here?"

 

Liam smiles and walks over to Theo and kisses his powdered nose, "well Corey needed a ride since his shift is ending and I decided to come early so I can see my boyfriend".

 

Theo smirks, "aw I feel so special you'd do that for me".

 

"Of course, you're my boyfriend. Besides I missed you"

 

"We saw each other on Saturday and face timed last night"

 

Liam rolls his eyes, "I haven't touched you or kissed you since Saturday"

 

"That is the usual routine for us thou-"

 

"Oh my god Theo, I fucking miss you, let me miss you"

 

Theo smiles and wraps an arm around Liam's waist, "if you insist".

 

"You were just teasing me the whole time, weren't you?"

 

Theo smirks and kisses Liam's hair, "just a little, it's fun seeing you all riled up"

 

"You haven't seen anything yet"

 

"Oh?"

 

Liam nods, "yeah this is nothing"

 

"I'll take your word for it"

Liam smiles and looks in the oven, "what are you making?"

"Valentine's Day dumplings for tomorrow"

Liam's eyes lit up and he smiles wide, "really? Can I have a taste?"

Theo smirks and squeezes Liam's hips, "sure you can be my tester for the day"

Liam claps his hands together, "I love that job"

Theo chuckles and pulls away, "I knew you would, I only made one batch to test it out and see if it's good enough for tomorrow and I might add heart candy on top or some other topping"

Liam nods, "yeah heart candy is really good, I think it'll taste good with it"

Theo glances at him, smirking, before grabbing one dumpling placing it on a plate, "you really love heart candies don't you?"

Liam nods, "well I love all candies but heart candy is one of my favorites"

"What other candies are your favorite?"

Liam thinks about that for a second pretending to rub his imaginary beard, "uhh I like starburst, lollipops, sour patch, heart candy of course and that's all I can think of," he shrugs.

Theo nods making sure to remember that. He might just get all those candies and some of his pastries as well since Liam always loves it when he tests pastries out for him.

 

"What's your favorite candy?" Liam asks

"I don't really eat candy as much, I prefer dark chocolate, the really bitter ones I like the most like Ghirardelli"

"Oh is it because you're a bitter person?" Liam smirks.

Theo scoffs and punches Liam's arm. Liam helps and pouts at him, rubbing his arm.

"This is abuse"

"You started it by calling me bitter"

"It's okay, Theo. You're the only bitter thing I'll ever taste"

"I may have tasted many sweet things but you're the sweetest I have ever tasted," Theo teases.

Liam blushes, "you're so bitter yet you say such sweet things," he batts his eyes.

Theo rolls his eyes, "you're such a dork"

"But I'm your dork, so it's all okay"

Theo smiles and shakes his head, getting back to his dumplings. He makes sure to add extra strawberry syrup to Liam's and hands it to him. "Here you go"

Liam smiles and grabs the plate, "thank you sweetums"

"Shut up"

"Aw you don't like the new nickname? How about cutie patootie?"

"No"

"Snookums?"

"No"

"Honeybear?"

"No"

"Cutie pie?"

"No Liam"

"Apple pie angel face?"

"What the? No"

"Custard dumpling?"

"Are you just calling me the pastries I make?"

"Nooo" Liam smirks and takes a bite of the dumpling.

His eyes close and he moans from the taste causing Theo to blush pink. Liam smiles with his mouth full and opens his mouth to talk.

"Thish ish so godfd" he spits out crumbs.

"You're disgusting don't talk with your mouth full".

Liam flips him off and swallows, "I said this is so good, you should always make me your taste tester"

Theo chuckles, "you actually have to be around most of the time instead of once a week"

Liam looks disappointed, "damn how about when I visit you at work like this?" He pouts.

"Then you'll be my taste tester".

Liam smiles wide and kisses Theo's lips licking off the chocolate syrup and sucking on his tongue. Theo moans and wraps his hands around Liam's waist pulling him closer. Liam pulls away and smacks his lips, licking them.

"You taste sweet"

Theo blushes and pushes him away, "whatever"

Liam smirks and grabs Theo's dumpling, eating it himself.

"So Liam after you swallow how's college? Last you told me you guys were learning about the renaissance in history"

Liam smiles and swallows, "yeah I'm taking art history also so right now we are learning about different types of paintings and the history behind them. Yesterday we were talking about Vincent Van Gogh's painting 'Sorrow' which was drawn in chalk around 1882. It's pretty interesting the painting it's of a woman who is naked and he head is down and her arms are wrapped round her legs. It's commonly called Sien Hoornik and so then..."

Liam continued to talk about the different types of paintings Van Gogh painted and the meaning behind them. Theo watched him smirking at the way Liam's eyes light up and how he smiles when he's talking about something he is passionate about. It warms Theo's heart seeing Liam be so passionate about something he actually cares about.

 

Corey comes in some time later, confused.

"Uh Liam?"

Liam stops talking and turns around, "yeah?"

"My shift ended half an hour ago, Tracy told me you were here"

Liam turns red and Theo starts to laugh. "Fuck," Liam whispered.

"Must've lost track of time," Theo snickers.

Liam turns towards Theo and points at him, "it's your fault, asshole"

Theo puts his hands up, "hey it's your fault. You were talking about all of Vincent Van Gogh's paintings and I didn't want to interrupt you. You're adorable when you talk about something you love".

Liam opens his mouth and closes it. His face gets impossibly more red and he huffs, "I hate you"

Theo chuckles and pulls Liam close, ruffling his hair, "aw sweetheart don't be all mad, you're an adorable little thing"

Liam glares and shoves him, "I'm not adorable nor little, I'm tall and handsome"

Theo nods along, "okay we'll go with that"

Corey clears his throat, "well as much as I enjoy watching you guys bicker like an old married couple, I have homework so we do have to go"

Liam nods, "yes right okay," he turns to Theo and hugs him quick, pecking his lips.

"Bye babe, I'll text you"

"Okay text me when you get home"

Liam nods and kisses him one last time, "don't forget tomorrow"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world" he replies sarcastically.

Liam slaps his arm, "don't be a dick tomorrow"

"We'll see now won't we?"

Liam narrows his eyes and pinches Theo's side before walking out, "bye sweetie pie"

Theo groans and he can hear Liam laughing form outside. He's so gone on him he doesn't even realize how far gone.

 

 

"Alright I'll just wear a black button up and these black jeans," Theo says out loud to no one.

"Then again is it too much black," he says again.

He should stop talking to himself. He groans and instead grabs a navy blue button up and puts it on with his black jeans. He's an hour ready but it takes an hour to drive to Liam's so he grabs his key and Liam's gifts and drives away. He texts Nolan and tells him to take care of the bakery and make sure to restock the pastries when they're sold out. He gets two messages.

 

N: Dude I got this, have fun on your double date. Good luck and tell me what happens (11:54AM)

 

T: Good luck on your Valentine's Day you old sap. I'll try not to burn the kitchen down (; (11:55AM)

 

He huffs and quickly replies to both. He turns up the music to calm his nerves down and not overthink it. 'You can do this. It's just Valentine's Day. It's some stupid holiday of bullshit love and couply cliche shit. It's nothing, it's all good. You're just meeting new people. New people who are friends with Liam. Who might like or hate you. Just people,' he deeply breathes. He can do this. He turns up his music loud and blasts Led Zeppelin to clear his mind.

 

He arrives at 1PM and messages Liam he's outside. He waits and sees Liam walk out looking handsome as always. It's unfair how he manages to look good no matter what he wears even naked he prefers but he wants that to himself. Right now, Liam is wearing a light blue Henley and black jeans and he's holding a small bag? He got him something? He's surprised Liam got him something, he doesn't deserve anything. Liam smiles and gets into the passenger seat kissing him for a bit deeply before pulling away, "happy Valentine's Day, baby," he whispers against Theo's lips.

Theo licks his lips and smiles, "you too".

Liam kisses him and pulls away, smiling. He grabs the bag and hands it to Theo, "here ya go, I got you something"

Theo feels like a burden for wasting Liam's time when he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve to celebrate Valentine'a day with a special someone. He doesn't deserve a special someone. He looks at Liam's hopeful expression and doesn't want to hurt him or let him down. He sighs and smiles small. "Thank you Liam even though I don't deserve it," he mumbles.

Liam rolls his eyes, "you do Theo. We've talked about this before, you deserve second chances and you deserve happiness"

Theo nods numbly and reaches over to the bag opening it. He takes out dark chocolate specifically his favorite, Ghirardelli. He chuckles, "my favorite, thanks"

Theo pecks his lips and Liam smiles at him. Theo hands him his gift and Liam's eyes light up grabbing it, opening it and taking out two bags of heart candy and starburst, lollipops, and sour patch. He giggles and wraps his arms around Theo's neck and hugs him tight. "Thank you, babe" he kisses Theo.

 

He giggles again and hugs the candy towards his chest and smiles wide. Theo rolls his eyes at his childlike behavior and ruffles his hair. Liam pouts and slaps Theo's hand away. "You ruined my hair," he pours.

Theo shakes his head and starts the car. They arrive at an ice skating rink.

"I can't believe I let you drag me to an ice skating rink," Theo says as they exited the car.

"It'll be fun, who doesn't love skating?" Liam smirks, "also all couples get $10 from skates and it was something you just can't miss".

They shakes his head, chuckling, "I never have done it to know"

Liam looks at him and nudges, "now it's your first time".

They get their skates and sit on the benches putting them on. The ice skating rink is pretty huge and has tons of people skating specifically couples. Theo internally groans, he never ice skated and fears he'll just continually fall on his ass.

"Don't worry Theo I'll hold your hand and laugh when you fall on your ass," Liam smirks.

Theo smirks, "dick"

Liam smiles and holds out his hand towards the rink. "Lets go princess," Liam teases.

Theo glares but grabs his hand, holding him up. He wobbles a bit and panics he's going to fall till Liam wraps an around his waist and squeezes for a second. "I got you," Liam smiles.

Theo sighs, embarrassed, "I hate you, you did this to embarrass me"

Liam shrugs, "it's okay I haven't ice skated since I was six, who knows if I'm going to fall or not"

"And you're letting me hold on to you even though it's been a while?"

"Of course it would suck you got hurt, I worry"

Theo's eyes slightly widen and he is slightly surprised anyone, especially Liam, would worry about him. He's twenty four, he can take care of himself. He doesn't want to burden him, Liam should have fun. He tries to shake off Lima despite the wobbling of his legs and the imbalanced control he has.

"Hey keep holding on to m-" Liam loses his balance and his legs wobble causing him to pull Theo down with him as they fall down.

Liam yells out a squeal and falls on his ass while Theo falls on his back. Theo groans and rolls on his stomach trying to breathe properly. He turns towards Liam who is massaging his ass and glares, "fuck you Liam Dunbar"

Liam looks at him and shrugs sheepishly, "it's fun"

Theo rolls his eyes and slightly smiles. People around them ask if they're okay and they nod politely and say they are. Theo is the first to get up and wobbles towards Liam holding out his hand. "I hate you so much right. Fuck you, Liam. I swear to whatever is up there," Theo holds on to Liam tight.

Liam laughs and holds Theo's hand tight to guide him across the ice. Theo kept breathing in and out and being careful to not fall. If he falls, it's going to hurt like a bitch and he's not prepared for that.

 

After a few rounds he got the hang of it and smiled a bit to himself. "I knew you could do it though I thought you would fall on your ass more," Liam smirks.

"You should be glad I need you as my anchor for this otherwise I would've pushed you"

"Anchor?"

"Yeah as in something to keep holding on to so I won't fall and lose control"

"Ah gotcha," Liam nods his head.

A girl skates by him, bumping hard into him having him topple over dragging Liam with him.

"Oof," he groans as Liam falls on top of him.

They both groan and Theo opens his eyes not knowing he opened them and sees Liam chuckling. Soon enough they're both laughing, "fuck that hurt like a bitch," Theo groans.

"Heh yeah, guess I'm not your anchor huh?" Liam smirks.

"That's not true, you'll always be my anchor," Theo smiles and pats Liam's cheek.

Liam blushes and presses his head against Theo's chest, "you're such a fucking dork"

Theo ruffles his hair and pats his back, "Liam as much as I love this position you're sort of heavy and I'm sort of in pain so can you get off?"

Liam immediately shoots his head up looking concerned, getting up, "oh shit, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

Liam checks over Theo looking for injuries or bruises. Theo appreciates the gesture but he doesn't need Liam to baby him. "I'm good Liam, you don't have to baby me"

Liam narrows his eyes, "I'm not babying you, I'm checking to make sure you're okay because I care," he touches his cheek.

Theo blushes, "I don't need you to check to see if I'm hurt, I'm fine," and takes Liam's hand off not wanting him to see him look vulnerable and pulls himself off trying not to fall.

He fails to notice Liam's face fall in hurt. He gets up, his feet wobbling and struggles to go over to the railing to hold on to something. He turns to see Liam looking upset for some reason. "Liam?" He calls out.

Liam looks up and nods his head, "yeah?"

"Are you okay? You look upset"

Liam nods his head and smiles, forced. "Yeah I'm good don't worry about it," he stands up and skates over to Theo is at.

 

Theo knows Liam is lying he can tell, he always does it to fool everyone. He never thought Liam would do it, he figures Liam would tell him or not. Theo isn't going to force Liam to tell him, if he wants to keep it to himself, he has the right to. His stomach tightens in knots and he starts to feel dread, he hates how insecure he gets whenever this sort of situation happens. Fuck this, he's going to try and be happy and have fun. For Liam. He can do this. He hooks his arm around Liam's elbow and tightens his hold on the railing, "you sure sweetheart?"

Liam nods and smiles, small, "yeah don't worry about it, it's nothing"

"It must be nothing if it's upsetting you," Theo rubs his thumb gently against the crease forming in between Liam's eyebrows.

Theo knows Liam has anger issues and tries to calm him before Liam gets too mad, these are one of the techniques that usually work, that and running his hand through Liam's hair or gently touching his arm or shoulder. Liam's face instantly relaxes and he lets out a sigh. "I thought something was wrong but realized I just let it get to me and made me upset. I'm all good now thank you," he smiles and pecks Theo's lips.

Theo nods and they start skating falling on their asses more times then they can count especially since Theo drags Liam with him. After two hours, they're both sore and their asses hurt like a bitch. "Fuck you Theo, my ass hurts," Liam groans and changes into his shoes.

"Sorry babe not tonight or maybe a few days, my ass hurts too much," Theo jokes.

Liam glares at him and punches his arm, "are you too sore to drive us to the diner?"

"No, I'll survive" Theo returns their skates and locks hands with Liam, interlacing them.

"Good now lets go I'm starving," Liam hums.

They walk towards the car and get in, starting the engine and driving to the diner. "Oh thanks for the ice rink by the way, that was a smart idea to do," Theo says.

"No problem, I thought it would be something both of us would enjoy and I was right," he smirks.

Theo shrugs, "yeah guess it was fun"

Liam looks at him with a raised brow, "I know you had fun, you were smiling and laughing especially when I kept falling"

"Those were the best parts"

"I fell because of YOU"

"Oops," he smirks.

"Dick"

"Asshole"

"There's a dirty joke in there somewhere and I don't want to hear it," Liam says.

Theo's smile widens, "well if you insist those are the-"

"Nope," he slaps his hand on Theo's mouth.

Theo mumbles something and licks over Liam's hand. "You think I'm not used to your licks?" Liam smirks.

Theo blushes and turns on his music, The Rolling Stones blasting through the speakers. Liam removes his hand from Theo's mouth and wipes it on his thigh. "You're disgusting"

"I thought you liked it when I lick you especially on your neck and around your di-"

"Okay Theo I get it," Liam blushes and chuckles.

Theo laughs as I Can't Quit You Baby blades through the speakers.

Theo sings loudly, "Yes, you hear me moanin' moanin' and groanin'. Yeah, you know, you know it hurts me, hurts me deep down inside" he emphasized on the last part making his voice high pitched and clutching his chest.

Liam laughs out loud and sings along with Theo, horrible and a bit high pitched that Theo can't help but smile wide at that. They smiled wide at each other and Theo places his hand on Liam's thigh squeezing before letting go. Liam grabbed Theo's hand before he places it on the wheel and interlaces their fingers.

"You can drive with one hand right?" He asks.

Theo nods and stares at the road, drumming his hands on the wheel, going with the beat of the music. When they arrive, they're 20 minutes early and park the car. They both get out and Liam immediately grabs Theo's hand interlacing their fingers. He starts swaying their hands as they walk and Theo glances at him. Liam notices and looks at him, blushing, "what? I can't hold my boyfriend's hand anymore?"

Theo shakes his head and chuckles, "never said there was anything wrong with that," he squeezes their hands together.

 

They enter the diner and first thing Theo sees is pink and hearts. Fuck it's worse than the ice skating rink decorations and those he barely paid attention to. There were streamers and pink hearts everywhere and lovesick couples Theo feels like gagging to. God, he hates cliche love stuff. He doesn't like love in general. It's painful and never eternal. Liam squeezes his hand and he's back to reality. Theo turns to look at him, "yeah?"

Liam leans in, "you okay?"

"Yeah just nervous, the decorations are horrid"

Liam makes a face, "I know it's making me gag. But they have delicious burgers and milkshakes so it's a must we have to eat here"

Theo smiles a little at that. Liam is so adorable and the way he gets excited about the small things makes something in Theo stir with warmth. Hayden and Gwen already reserved a spot considering they knew it was crowded under the name 'foursome', getting a weird look from the hostess. Liam immediately blushes while Theo smirks at the lady. She leads them to a booth and Liam and Theo slide in the booth next to each other.

"Why don't you sit infront of me instead of next? I wanna see your cute face," Theo teases.

Liam looks at him and smiles softly, "I wanna hold your hand of course"

Theo is left speechless and feels his cheeks turning warm. Liam chuckles and leans his head on Theo's shoulder squeezing his hand, "you're too cute," he murmurs.

"M'n not cute," he mumbles, "I'm a handsome fellow," he teases.

"I can't argue with that, well maybe," they turn and see Hayden and Gwen standing there smirking at their position.

Theo turns red and turns away, hearing them laughing. Liam smiles wide and gets up to hug them both, "hey guys, you finally made it after fifty million years," Liam jokes.

"We are only five minutes late," Gwen comments.

"It's a good thing we were, you guys were having such a sweet cute moment," Hayden teases.

Theo and Liam both blush, "well uh yeah this-this is Theo Karl Raeken. My boyfriend I've been seeing for five months yup," Liam introduces Theo to them.

Theo stands up next to Liam, "Liam, sweetheart, you don't have to tell them my life story," Theo grabs Liam's hand squeezing it.

He knew Liam was nervous and wants to reassure him as much as he can. He saw Liam visibly relax a bit and smiled a bit at that. He turns back to Hayden and Gwen who are smiling at them softly. "Well you guys are adorable. I'm Gwen and we have met before," she smirks and hugs him.

Theo tenses for a second before returning the hug. "Yeah you guys assessed me and asked every single question known to man," he jokes.

"Hey we had to know if our friend found the 'charming handsome rugged boyfriend' we want him to have," Hayden jokes back.

"And did you?" Theo smirks.

"We'll see tonight," Hayden smirks and hugs Theo quick.

"Okay lets sit, I'm starving to death," Gwen groans out.

"You're always hungry," Hayden smirks.

"That's because you don't feed me," Gwen pouts as they sit down in front of them.

"Hun, I feed you all the time. You had a granola bar on the way here," Hayden says.

Gwen blushes, "okay okay you do feed me," she pecks Hayden's lips.

 

"Aw you guys are too cute aww," Liam teases.

"Cuter than you," Hayden teases back.

"Impossible," Liam says.

Hayden raises a brow, "oh really?"

Liam nods, "yeah Theo and I are the cutest. We went to an ice skating rink for Valentine's"

"Gwen and I spent the day at home watching romantic comedy and horror while eating popcorn and cuddling," Hayden says back.

"Why horror?" Liam asks.

"Only romantic comedy is too boring for me. Got to add horror to the mix," Hayden shrugs.

"Well..." they continued arguing for a bit.

Theo stared at Liam and looked at Gwen who also stared at Hayden with a 'what the fuck is wrong with you' and 'I adore you'. Gwen turned and looked at him with a smirk on his face and Theo smirked back. "What the fuck is wrong with our significant other?"

Theo tries to ignore the panic in his stomach from hearing those words, "I don't know, who knew they were competitive in who's the most cutest"

"Yeah when in truth it's us that are the cutest," she gestures to her and Theo.

"You have a point there, I am better looking than Liam," he smirks and lazily puts his arm around Liam.

Liam turns to him and the words die in his throat, "you are really good looking"

Theo smirks, "I know I am".

Hayden rolls her eyes and taps her nails on the table and turns to Gwen, "you are the cutest, no denying that but babe when is the waitress coming?"

Gwen shrugs and looks around, "I don't know I'm starving"

Liam smirks, "yes all this arguing works up an appetite," he pats his stomach.

"That was barely an argument we all knew Hayden was winning," he gestures to Hayden.

Hayden smiles in triumph, "I like you Theo, you say the right words"

Theo smiles, "of course it's what I'm good at".

Liam puts his arm around Theo possessively and squeezes, tensing up. Theo rolls his eyes because he knows Liam gets jealous no matter which person or if they're taken or not. Always he gets jealous when someone is sweet and charming to Theo. Theo's heart warms at the thought and also it's the only time Liam takes charge in bed when he gets heated so it's also amazing. He squeezes Liam's shoulder to comfort him and Liam relaxes and smiles at Theo, pecking his cheek.

"Aww," Hayden and Gwen say in unison.

Theo groans, "shut up".

 

All three laugh at Theo's blushing face and that's when the waitress decides to come. The waitress was a perky petite girl with the nametag: Grace. "Hello, welcome to Benny's Diner, happy Valentine's Day our specials today is a tropical burger heart shaped. How is everyone doing today?" She says looking at them.

"We are doing good, thanks," Theo smiles.

"That's good, would you guys like any drinks?" She says.

"Water for me," Theo says.

"Vanilla milkshake," Liam says.

"Strawberry milkshake, the biggest one you have," Hayden smiles wide.

"Water," Gwen says.

The waitress nods and looks at the four them, "You guys all make such cute couples," she smiles and walks away.

She walks away and they all smirk, "she's sweet," Hayden comments.

"I wonder which couple she's talking about," Theo says.

"Us, of course," Hayden says.

"Sure you guys make a cute couple, but we are the hottest couple," Liam comments.

The waitress then comes back with the drinks and gives them their straws. She places the milkshake in between Hayden and Theo and gives them two straws and does the same with Liam and Gwen. She smiles sweetly and walks away. They look at each and Hayden snickers and places the milkshake in between her and Gwen while Liam does the same. Theo can't help but feel a bit jealous that the waitress assumed him and Gwen but then again she did think him and Hayden so he wouldn't blame Liam for squeezing Theo's knee for a few seconds before letting go.

 

Liam turns towards Hayden and Gwen, "think the waitress assumes one of us," he gestures between him and Theo, "is dating one of you guys?"

Hayden smirks playing with the straw of her milkshake, "yeah, probably".

"Wanna make out to show her we're dating?" Theo smirks looking at Liam.

Hayden and Gwen laugh while Liam blushes.

When the waitress comes back and sets their drinks, she takes out her notepad, "are you guys ready to order?"

Theo smirks, "why yes I would like a bacon cheeseburger with a side of salad and," he puts his arm around Liam, "my boyfriend would like a cheeseburger with fries and a side of onion rings"

The waitress's eyes widen for a second until Hayden talks, "and I would like a cheeseburger with a side of fruit and," she puts her arm around Gwen, "my girlfriend would like a burger with a side of onion rings. Oh! And a side of mozzarella sticks please" she smirks.

Gwen and Liam both blush while the waitress opens her mouth and closes. She clears her throat, "how would you like the meat done?"

"Well done," they all reply in unison.

She nods and takes their menus, walking away quickly.

Theo and Hayden laugh, high giving each other.

 

Theo turns to Liam who's blushing, "there now she knows," he rubs his thumb against Liam's blushes cheek.

"You guys are so cute it's disgusting," Hayden grimaces and sips her milkshake.

"I agree," Gwen says and steals the milkshake from Hayden drinking using her straw.

"Hey!" Hayden glares and snatches the milkshake carefully and drops her straw in, placing the milkshake in the middle of her and Gwen.

Liam rolls his eyes and does the same for him and Theo, happily sipping his milkshake. "I prefer Nutella milkshake but they ran out sadly," Liam pouts.

"How do you know?" Gwen asks.

"There was a sign outside, couples love their milkshakes," he huffs and sips the milkshake.

Theo didn't even notice the sign as he was busy paying attention to Liam and the horrible decorations. He drops his straw in and tastes the milkshake. "Hmm it's good," he comments.

"Of course it's fucking good, it's a milkshake," Hayden smirks, sipping with Gwen.

 

Theo rolls his eyes and continues sipping the milkshake and after a few he stops and turns back to his water. "You don't want anymore?" Liam asks.

"I know you love your milkshakes Liam and I know you don't really like sharing them. That's why I am drinking water," he smirks.

Liam shrugs, "not even going to deny that," he turns to Gwen and Hayden, "it's true I love my milkshakes"

"Same there has been massacres because of milkshakes between Liam and I," Hayden smirks.

"Really?" Theo smirks, curious.

Liam nods, "she broke my nose because I took the last Nutella milkshake"

Theo snorts. "You stole it from me," Hayden points out.

"No I took it and you thinking it was yours stole it from me," she narrows her eyes sipping her milkshake.

"That's not true and you know it. Don't make up shit," Liam sticks his tongue out.

"False, asshole," she sips her milkshake and flips him off.

Theo laughs and the waitress comes and places their food. Theo licks his lips as she drops all their food infront of them.

"Enjoy huns and let me know if you need anything," she smiles awkwardly and walks away.

Gwen and Liam start to discuss lacrosse and their next strategies for the next game and start to discuss positions when Hayden groans loudly, "okay no lacrosse talk. I'm sorry, baby, but let's talk about something we all can get into," Hayden says.

Gwen smiles and nods her head.

They start to talk about college and Theo starts to talk about the start of his bakery after Hayden asks how long he’s had it and what does he sell besides pastries. "So Liam gets sweets all the time?" Gwen smiles.

Theo nods, "if he wants some, I give him discounts".

"He's my sugar daddy," he smirks, "get it?"

Theo and Hayden roll their eyes and Gwen groans. Liam smiles, “what it’s a good one, it made it sense. He’s my sugar daddy because he gives me pastries that has sugar,” Liam explains. 

Theo looks at him with a straight bitch face, “we get it sunshine, it just isn’t funny”

Liam pouts and Gwen and Hayden chuckle. They all four then dig into their food.

Theo moans in appreciation and Liam smiles wide at him, mouth full. Theo smirks and pats his cheek before taking another bite.

"Fuck this is good," Gwen moans.

"I know I'm going to marry this burger and eat it over and over again till I get sick," Hayden says.

"I'm going to marry these onion rings," Liam munches on the onion rings dipped in barbecue sauce.

"Barbecue sauce?" Theo raises his brow and bites into his salad.

"What? It's good," he shrugs and steals Gwen's mozzarella stick.

"Hey!" Gwen glares at him.

Liam smiles and bites the stick pulling the mozzarella stick out of his mouth letting the cheese tangle between the stick and his mouth. Theo grabs the cheese in between and puts it in his mouth sucking on his fingers. Liam watched entranced.

"That shit is good," Theo ignores Liam's heated gaze and bites his burger.

Hayden and Gwen snicker at Liam's reaction and continue eating. Liam snaps out of it, blushing madly and eats his food quietly ignoring the heat in his cheeks and his pulse picking up. They ate their food as they joked around and talked about their most embarrassing stories about each other. Hayden made sure to get another refill and Liam made sure to get mozzarella sticks. "Gwen has me obsessed heh," he sighs happily as he devours them in 5 minutes, scorching hot.

"My tongue may be burning but this flavor is too good to stop now," he says, mouth full.

Theo shakes his head and gives him his almost empty milkshake knowing Liam needs something cold right now for his tongue, Liam smiles and sips the milkshake eagerly then going back to the sticks.

"Do you want more Liam?" Theo teases

Liam glares and rubs his belly, "maybe"

Theo pokes Liam's stomach, "alright I guess you can have more," he waves to the waitress.

Liam holds his hand, "no I was just kidding I'm stuffed".

"Me too," Hayden groans and Gwen rubs her stomach in comfort.

The waitress comes by and gives them the check, smiling politely. "Alright I'm paying for Liam and I," Theo says pulling out his wallet.

Liam glares and tries to fight, "I swear to whoever and whatever, I will slaughter and murder you. You paid the ice skating rink. I'm paying this one," Theo argues.

Liam glares and shuts his mouth, crossing his arms. Gwen pays for Hayden because of the similar thing to Theo and Liam. After they paid for the lunch and gave the waitress a tip, they exited chatting about nonsense.

 

"Well as much as I would like to hang out more, Gwen and I have plans to go this Valentine's festival," Hayden holds on to Gwen's hand.

"Yeah and we should get going since it started at 4 and it's 5:20PM right now," Gwen checks her phone.

"I hate holiday festival shit especially Valentine's," Liam grimaces.

"Yeah and I have pastries to bake and Liam wants to try and help which will fail miserably," Theo smirks.

 

Hayden and Gwen chuckle and Liam elbows him. "Yeah we are definitely coming back to your bakery, your sandwiches and bacon glazed donuts are delicious," Gwen smiles.

"Thank Nolan for the sandwiches, he makes the best," Theo shrugs.

"You should add milkshakes," Hayden comments.

"Nope," Theo shakes his head.

Hayden huffs, "well it was nice meeting you, Theo again. You are a good guy," Hayden smirks and hugs Theo.

"Yeah Theo, you're good for Liam," Gwen hugs him and both wave bye as they leave.

Liam and Theo walk back to the car, listening to the calm music flooding through the speakers. "That was fun," Theo says.

"Yeah it was, thanks for meeting my friends babe," Liam squeezes his hand on Theo's knee.

"No problem, sweetheart, you know I would do anything for you," Theo shrugs failing to see Liam's loving affectionate gaze and blushing cheeks

Fucking oblivious idiot Liam thinks to himself. "You are a good guy, Theo"

Theo shrugs, "not really Liam, you know I'm not".

He doesn't want to have this conversation, not here and not now. Especially not after having a better day than he's had in a while. He doesn't want Liam to continue the conversation and doesn't want Liam to get worried. He can feel his hands trembling and Liam squeezing his trembling hand hoping he can calm him. "Theo," Liam whispers and presses kisses to Theo's knuckles, "we don't have to continue this conversation right now. I care about you and I'll respect your decision to not talk about this but you need to know. I know you're an amazing guy and I know you've been through a lot, just know I'm here for you, if you need someone to talk to; I'm here. No matter the time and day, I'll be here," Liam says.

Theo squeezes Liam's hand and rubs his thumb against Liam's skin as a thank you. Theo doesn't know if he's ever ready to tell everything to Liam, doesn't know if he actually will. He told him enough, he has told him he met Nolan through therapy but didn't tell him why exactly he was going to therapy. He told him all about his bakery and where he came up with the idea. He didn't mention his childhood much, just his sister died and they moved away and then Theo came back. His childhood was something he wasn't ready to tell, he barely spoke about in therapy and to Nolan. Only that his dad was physically abusive and an alcoholic and his mom was mentally abusive and neglectful.

 

He keeps rubbing his thumb against Liam's skin and moves it to his wrist and massages it. He needs to ignore those thoughts and think of the day they had today. It went well, Hayden and Gwen said they enjoyed it and that Theo is a good guy no matter the lie. They apparently like him which is a huge surprise. He changes the cassette tape to Cigarettes After Sex and Apocalypse plays through the speakers as he pulls up at his place. Liam squeezes Theo's hand to catch his attention and kisses him as the lyrics flow out, "your lips. my lips. apocalypse".

 

Theo bites and tugs at Liam's bottom lip and pulls away, jumping out the car leaving Liam flustered and red. "Time to make a batch of Rice Krispies and croissants," Theo smirks and walks in leaving the door open for Liam.

Liam comes in pouting, "that's not fair. You can't leave me hanging," he puts his arms in the air.

Theo smirks and pats Liam's cheek, "poor you".

He pulls away and starts to get the ingredients and pots and utensils ready. "Alright," he says and claps his hands together.

He grabs two aprons from the drawer and hands one to Liam. One is pink that says, 'kiss the cook' while the other one is yellow and with bumblebees on them. He gives Liam the pink one while he puts on the yellow one. Liam stifles a laugh seeing Theo's apron but proudly wears his. Theo raises a brow, "what? I look good," Liam says and twirls.

Theo nods, "of course you do, honey"

Liam nods smiling and together they spend the rest of their day cooking, smiling and sharing kisses with the taste of dessert in their mouths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I TOOK SO LONG SERIOUSLY I APOLOGIZE! I already said it but I mean it really. Also Cigarettes After Sex have really good songs I might include them more here since they also do remind me of thiam sometimes. 
> 
> THANK YOU AND LOVE YOU ALL


	8. July, 2012: I Saw Him Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo has a horrible day all in one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -Self harm by biting  
> -Mentions of self harm  
> -Sexual Assault 
> 
> IF THIS IS TOO TRIGGERING SKIP THIS CHAPTER. I'll give you a chapter summary at the end of this chapter so just scroll down.

Theo pours the lemon juice on his bite marks while they bleed and hisses at the contact. He controls his urge to take the lemon juice away and pours a bit on each mark till they sizzle. He feels like his skin is peeling off and it feels  _so so good_  he can't stop and doesn't want to. He pours till he doesn't feel any more pain and puts the lemon juice on the table, clenching is fists to resist washing his wounds. He sighs deeply and lays his head back on the chair closing his eyes and takes deep breathes.

 

In and out

 

In and out

 

In and out

 

It feels so good and he loves and craves it so much. He made sure to bite extra hard till he bleeds and hopes for it to leave marks and hopes for it to hurt for a couple days so he can press down on it and feel it. He knows what caused this trigger. He hates what caused it. 

 

He saw Stiles.

 

Fuck, he saw Stiles and he hates that he triggered this, he hates that he triggered him to bite and bite till he feels the need to feel absolute pain. It wouldn't be the first time and wouldn't be the last and he loves it so much. He loves the control and always has to do it. Always has to bite and scratch to feel control of his life. He doesn't even know what Stiles is doing here, this isn't Beacon Hills. Does he live here now or is he visiting? He hopes he's just visiting. He bites harder to control the tears threatening to come out. He choked out a sob and bites harder and harder. 

 

He saw Stiles.

 

He saw him and it hurt him so much, his chest hurt and he felt a deep wound in his chest unwind and he knew he had to get away and run. Run far away from the scene because it hurt to see it. It hurt to see Stiles again after so long and he fucking hates how much Stiles affected him. Hates how much he still affects him. He wants to punch something so he punches his thigh till it turns numb and ignores the pain, punches harder till he can feel control. He ignores the sting in his arms and the tears in his eyes. Fuck. He needs to feel control. He fucking hates the loss of it and needs to gain it back. He needs the control.

 

He saw Stiles kissing a guy. 

 

He chokes back a sob because he hates how much of a little bitch he's being. He doesn't like Stiles that way anymore, knows Stiles never felt the same. But years ago when Stiles told him he wasn't like that and never will be hurt him then now it hurts him that he actually does like guys just not guys like Theo. That Theo he would never like or be bothered to like. Because Theo isn't worth it. Theo isn't worth the effort or deserving of it anyhow. He's worthless and scum. He bites his arm where the lemon sting and bite mark is so it can do deeper and hurt more. He ignores the sour taste in his mouth and the tears in his eyes and bites harder till he bleeds more. He bites and bites till he tastes the blood in his mouth and only then does he stop. Because it's hard to clean blood off his floor and he can't afford to, he barely has any money. He bites his bottom lip hard till he feels and tastes his blood to keep from crying. He won't cry over this bullshit. Over a guy who embarrassed him. He won't. He may believe himself to be worthless and disgusting, but he is not pathetic enough to cry over some guy. Especially Stiles. Fuck him and duck his fucking words and his fucking sexuality. Fuck him. He snaps and kicks the chair knocking it over. Fuck him. 

 

He sees a cockroach crawling on the table coming towards him. He watches as it crawls over on the table and go under. No point in killing it when his apartment is full of them, they'll just keep coming back. 'A place to live is a place to live. It's not home, but it's better than nothing,' he tells himself. He taps his fingers on the table, not too hard otherwise he'll risk his skin bleeding again. They are still sore from him aggressively biting them last night when he had another nightmare. They were another flashback another memory. They always come at night, his dreams don't soothe him. They never have, they haunt him every night; each a different memory from the past coming back screaming at him and scaring him till he wakes up panting and screaming.

 

He knows he'll have to wear long sleeves so Josh won't see them, he'll be so disappointed and he doesn't want to make him upset. He already is a disappointment in other people's eyes and doesn't want Josh to see him like this.  He doesn't want anyone to see him like this in his most vulnerable state. He deeply sighs and puts the lemon juice back making sure it's closed. He, then, goes to the bathroom and makes sure there is no more blood coming out of his wounds and gently pats them down so they won't bleed through his jacket, he doesn't need to get another one; he only has enough money to pay for the bills and necessities. He washes his face and stares at himself, disgusted. He remembers a time where he couldn't even look in the mirror because he was ashamed of who he is and what he's become. It all screamed disgust at him and even though he turns away and hides, sometimes he needs the reminder of what and who he truly is. Sometimes he would stare into the mirror and look at his hollowed cheeks and empty eyes. He'd taken in his pale face and cracked lips and think to himself that he is disgusting. He is worthless. He is useless. He has done this to himself because he deserves it. He deserves all this pain and nothing can fix it. He's doomed to be like this, doomed to be like this now and in the future. He'll never get better, the day he does get better is the day is a day that will never come. He looks away after minutes of staring and brushes his teeth. He has work to go to and Mr. Mildred doesn't like it when Theo is late. He already gave him this small apartment and small job, the least Theo can do is be on time. 

 

He wears the usual attire he always wears for work which consists of black jeans and a back long sleeved shirt. He pins his name tag and washes his hair and breathes in deeply. He wraps the sleeves around his hands and holds them there as he walks down the stairs of his apartment floor that goes into the store. His boss has been generous enough and Theo is thankful and tries to work hard to show that as much as he can. Theo has never been good at expressing emotions and doesn't usually feel anything towards others. He isn't the best at showing when he's happy or excited or even upset. No one can tell what he's feeling unless he says it himself. He walks downstairs and is instantly greeted by his boss, Mr. Mildred who smiles brightly at him. Mr. Mildred is an old well built man around his late 40s who has had the shop for 20 years after his father passed. It's been passed on for generations and Mr. Mildred has been planning on maybe giving it to Theo since he has been like a son to him at least according to Mr. Mildred. He scoffs at that without his boss noticing, yeah right my ass. 

 

"Goodmorning Theo," Mr. Mildred greeted smiling. 

"Hello boss," Theo says. 

Mr. Mildred always told Theo to call him boss or sir. Never Mr. Mildred unless he says so. Theo hates not having control of his work situation, it aches deep in his bones but that's what the biting and scratching is for. It calms him and brings a relaxing vibe in him. It's like he's high and getting off on it, keeps him sane at work. He makes sure to feel that way before he does, helps him stay numb and ignore the way the boss looks at him and touches him. It helps him ignore the touches and tight hold. 

 

In and out

 

In and out

 

In and out

 

He starts to rearrange the stocks and the shelves, making sure everything is in order. He's the only worker Mr. Mildred hired since he owns a rather small shop and he doesn't get much customers just enough to get by. He starts to sweep the floor and busies himself with casual work around the shop and assists the very few customers that do come by. Ignoring his boss's lingering looks, he dreads when they're alone. His boss thinking it's an excuse to come closer and he hates how hopeless he feels, how he instantly tenses and freezes by a simple touch. Sometimes he hears a small voice in the back of his head that whispers 'at least it's not cigarettes burns. It could be worse. At least it's not a beating, at least he's not physically hurting you'. He repeats it over and over again because maybe he'll believe it and he'll let it sink into his head till it's stuck there. This isn't the first time and clearly won't be the last. He can't do anything, his boss has done so much for him, he's given him a job and a home. He can't tell anyone about this, he'll take away everything Theo has and needs. All he'll have is his truck again and Theo doesn't want to go back. His thoughts are interrupted when he feels a hand placed on the back of his neck. 

 

"You're doing great, Theo," Mr. Mildred says lowly.

"Thank you, sir," Theo grits out. 

 

In and out

 

In and out

 

In and out

 

Maybe if he just ignores it and pretends it's not there, he would be okay. Maybe if he just continues on working, he'll leave him alone. He continues to touch him and lightly pat his neck making goosebumps rise in the worst way possible. Theo grits his teeth and clenches the broom turning his knuckles white. The hand starts to slowly lower and lower till it's on his lower backs and Theo is tense and stiff. He is trying to breathe properly because it's too much, too far. It's been going on for months and it still makes Theo want to crawl out of his skin. It makes him feel disgusting and gross. It causes him to shower for two hours straight scrubbing his skin till he's red and raw aching from how hard he rubs his skin because he's hoping it would take away the disgusting touches he feels on his skin even when he pulls his hands away. They can never go away. 

 

"Theo," Mr. Mildred says.

Apparently Theo was too lost in thought to hear what he had said.

"Yes sir?"

"I said," he slightly squeezes his hold on Theo's back, "how would you feel if you got a raise?"

Theo clears his throat, "that would be generous of you" 

Mr. Mildred squeezes and Theo grits out, "sir"

He smiles, "there is a way to get that raise Theo," he says. 

Theo starts to shake and his hands start to sweat, shit. He knows what it is and he's scared to ask, he doesn't want to ask. He breathes in and out. "Would you like to know what it is?" Mr. Mildred asks.

Theo shakes his head, "I would not like to know, sir," Theo ignores the glare and the hand that's creeping down lower and he continues to sweeps. 

Theo gasps and drops the broom when Mr, Mildred grabs his ass. "What the fuck?" Theo grits out and glares. 

Mr. Mildred glares and squeezes his ass, "I give you a home and a job. This is how you fucking repay me?" 

"Let me go," Theo glares and takes Mr. Mildred's hand off. 

Mr. Mildred glares and grabs a hold of Theo's neck and shoves him against the wall. "Listen you little bitch, I give you all this shit so I'm going to get what I want. Whether you like it or not" 

He touches Theo's chest and slowly slides down. Theo starts to shake and panics because he's slowly going lower. He tries to fight it but the grip on his neck tightens and is slowly cutting off oxygen. He feels so fucking powerless, he wants to run away. Mr. Mildred's hand stops at the buttons of Theo's jeans and slowly starts to unbutton them. Theo is starting to shake as tears stream down his face and he feels like he's going to collapse. The touch on his neck somehow tightened even more and he's surprised he's still conscious right now. 

"Please," he begs.

Mr. Mildred smiles sweetly at him and pats him through his boxers, "oh sweetie I love it when you beg"

Theo bites his tongue till he draws blood and tries to shake himself out but all he can feel is his throat hold tightening until he's finding it hard to breathe. Fuck he's gasping for air now and does this asshole not realize what he's doing. He's pounding his fist against the wall behind him and trying to get Mr. Mildred's hand off his neck but it won't budge. "Don't fight this boy, the more you fight it the harder it'll be to get through it" 

Then Theo feels his pants dropping and he gasps, desperately trying to get away.  He looks up at the ceiling and closes his eyes tight, hoping he'll wake up and be back in bed. Maybe this is all a dream maybe he's imagining this because he's traumatized by the looks and touches. He feels the touch on his boxer's waistband and bites his bottom lip hard, drawing blood. He can taste the blood in his mouth and focuses on that, focuses on something other than the hands that are grazing across his stomach and slightly pulling his boxer briefs. 

 

"Theo?" 

Theo opens his eyes and gasps at seeing Josh looking at them with wide eyes and his mouth agape. 

"Josh?" He whispers.

Mr. Mildred stops and turns around, glaring at Josh, "who the fuck are you?" 

Josh looks at him and glares, fire in his eyes and goes over and punches Mr. Mildred in the face. He groans in pain hunching over on the floor, grabbing his nose. "What the fuck you fucking piece of shit," he snarls.

Josh glares and kicks him in the stomach, knocking him to the ground howling in pain. Theo watches in shock and amazement. Josh looks at him and hands him his pants, while making sure Mr. Mildred is nowhere near him. Theo quickly puts on the pants too much in shock to process what's going on and walks out, leaving Josh to follow. He feels shame and disgust crawling all over his body and starts to scratch his arms causing his wounds to open up, bleeding a bit. 

"Theo! Hold on," Josh grabs Theo's shoulder making him flinch and he immediately shoves his hand off. 

"Don't touch me," he says.  

"Theo-" Josh starts.

"No. I don't want to talk about it," he whispers. 

He doesn't want to talk about it, probably never does. It's too much and he feels he'll start to shake again and bite till he peels his skin off. All he needs now is a shower in boiling hot water. He knows Josh is following him up to his apartment and wants him to leave. He wants Josh to leave him alone and not talk to him for a few days maybe weeks. He wants to crawl in his bed and get under the covers and stay there. He feels Josh next to him and dreads what he has to say. "Why do you let him touch you like that?" Josh holds his hand tight like he's afraid Theo will let go. 

Theo wants to let go, he is still uncomfortable with touches filled with affection, touches that mean something other than hurt and pain. He's still shaken from what just happened and Josh holding his hand isn't helping. He's used to touch that shows pain, that shows nothing but their desire, their needs and wants. Never this. He's become numb to his boss's touches and let it happen, not caring. He never cares anymore, it doesn't matter and never mattered in the first place. He blocks it out whenever he touches him, he believes it's better this way, way more simpler than talking about it. But today it was too far, too much for him and he lost it. He became vulnerable and he curses himself at that. He's so pathetic. He deeply sighs and wants to find a way out of this situation. So he simply shrugs. He doesn't want to discuss it, doesn't want to talk about it again. He's told Josh his reasons almost every time he asks and he's as uncomfortable as the first time he's asked. This time he realizes it was too far, too much but he doesn't want to discuss it. He's surprised Josh has been with him through it all and continues to stay with him. He can tell Josh is looking at him with sadness and he hates it. He doesn't want anyone to feel bad for him, to pity him. He looks at Josh and sneers, "stop looking at me like you feel sorry for me"

Josh widens his eyes in shock and it's replaced with hurt, "Theo you know I care about you deeply. I love you of course I would worry" 

Theo laughs with no trace of humor. Those words. Those three words that mean so little, that are wasteful on a person like him. He doesn't even know why Josh bothers telling Theo this. Theo never says it, not even once. Not even when Josh took care of him when ill or when it was the anniversary of his sister. Not when Josh helped him when he needed it the most, not even when they had sex in the dark room because Theo hates when Josh sees his marks and burns on his body. Theo feels like he's suffocating when Josh comforts him and tries to get him open up.  

 

He gets to his apartment and shuts the door behind them. Josh has been up here before and knows Theo's living conditions but it's didn't stop the disgust in his eyes whenever he sees the apartment and how dirty and rundown it is. "Theo let me help, just tell me," Josh pleads. 

"No Josh, leave me alone," Theo says. 

"But-" Theo cuts him off.

"I said leave me alone. You don't understand and you never will. You haven't been through this so you don't get it. Don't bother pretending like you do," Theo snarls.

Josh 's shoulders hunch and he looks so upset but Theo is too tired right now to apologize, too done with everything to care. He doesn't want to deal with him right now, he just wants a shower. A shower is all he wants and just scrub his body clean from the disgust he feels. He already feels bile rising from his throat and he has to swallow it down ignoring the sour taste in his throat. Josh's eyes are filled with hurt and Theo knows he wants to help, but he doesn't need that right now. He doesn't want anyone to help him, he doesn't need help. Theo looks away from Josh, staring at the floor and waits till he hears the footsteps fading and the door closing. He deeply sighs and runs his hand through his hair. 

 

After Josh leaves, Theo finally gets into the shower and immediately the water is hot. He only has hot or cold, so he settles in for hot to feel the burning of his skin as he scrubs. He gets in and starts to shampoo his hair first. Then when he gets the loofa and scrubs, he does it extra hot to get the touch to go away. To stop feeling the hands on his body and the breathe against his ear. He wants it all to stop so he continues to scrub and scrub till his body is achingly sore and his skin is crimson red. He keeps going till tears stream down his face and he collapses on the floor, letting out uncontrollable sobs that rip through his body. He needs to be in control, fuck, he can't do this. He has to stop crying, crying gets you nowhere. It's a sign of weakness, it's pathetic. His father always said it was weak and downright pathetic when someone, anyone, cries. Theo can't cry, he needs the control. He needs to feel something other than the man's hands on his back and neck. He needs to feel something other than the breathe down his neck and the words whispered in his ear so he bites. He continues to bite and bite till his sobs calm down and there's nothing left but tears streaming down his face.  He can still feel his touches against his back. He can feel his hands on his waist against his boxers, his lips tremble and he tries hard to swallow the bile. He ends up throwing up all over the shower and continues to shake as he pulls his knees against his chest. He stays in the corner of the shower as the water washes down on him and the throw up next to him fading away slowly into the drain. He doesn't know how long he stays there in the shower all he knows is it's long enough for the water to turn ice cold and for him to start shivering from how cold his skin becomes. His lips quiver and he struggles to sit up from how sore and numb his legs are from staying in the same position and the coldness of the water. He shuts the water off and ignores the much more smaller amount of throw up on the ground and wraps a towel around his waist. 

 

He exits and starts to brush his teeth, ignoring the mirror. He doesn't want to look at himself because he knows what he'll see, he'll see the eye bags, the redness in his eyes and the pale sullen look on his face. He knows he'll see the dead looks in his eyes and it makes him disgusted at himself for how bad he's got. But Theo doesn't want to change, he doesn't want to get better. He likes it this way, being in pain makes him feel better. He likes to feel the sting in his marks and the bruises on his arms and legs. He likes to taste the blood when he bites down and likes to pick at the cigarette wounds though they give him horrible nightmares and flashbacks, he still does it. He can sometimes still feel the burn on his skin as his father presses it hard even for a few seconds, he can feel the sizzling pain. He remembers when he was young there were times when he welcomed the burns thinking he deserved it, he knows he deserved it. He deserved all the pain he's gotten and he knows he deserves more. 

 

He lays on his lumpy mattress and stares at the ceiling. He doesn't know how long he stays there, all he knows is that it's getting dark out and he needs to get up. He goes to the kitchen and looks through the cabinets and refrigerator, seeing barely any contents. He sighs and settles on making chicken broth soup considering he just vomited, he needs to take it easy for now. He gets a small bowl out and as he drinks his soup all he can think to himself is he deserves all this. He doesn't deserve kind people like Josh and deserves all the pain the world gives to him. He's just a screw up, a mistake. Everything he touches, he cares about gets destroyed and ruined. He's an accident waiting to happen and keeps happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Theo sees Stiles again and feelings of self loathing resurfaces because he sees Stiles kissing a guy when he rejected Theo in the past. Theo self harms and goes to work where he gets sexually assaulted by his boss. Josh stops it before it gets too far and he wants Theo to open up but Theo snaps at him and tells him no. He leaves Theo alone to wallow in his self loathing and Theo thinks how worthless and useless he is. (Which he is not, my poor baby)
> 
> SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG well not that long but felt like it. I've been busy and I finished this a day ago but my laptop wasn't working.


	9. Authors Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apology

I just want to apologize for the delay, a lot of things have been going on and I’m still writing just slow. I’ll make sure to get it done by the end of hopefully this week if not by next week. The chapter I’m writing is important so I’m trying to make sure everything is right and the years and all that is accurate.

 

Those of you who who are actually reading this story I deeply apologize and I will try to write as quick as I can. I’m sorry.

if you want more information my tumblr is rebelwithheartofgold.tumblr.com

 

Thank you,

rebelwithheartofgold.tumblr.com


	10. April, 2018: They reunite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo sees some old friends and he doesn't know how to react

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY IVE BEEN GONE SO LONG I apologize so much and I was writing this and balancing school and homework. so sorr, enjoy  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -Panic attack  
> -Theo talking low of himself
> 
> That's all I can think of, if I missed one, tell me please.

"Wow this cake looks really good, babe" Liam smiles and walks alongside Theo.

"Thanks sweetheart, I did make it," Theo smirks.

Liam scoffs and watches as Theo picks up the cake to take it outside to place it on the display cabinet of his store. The cake does look really good Liam thinks. It's red velvet on the inside and chocolate on the outside with a layer of double fudge syrup on top. It's surrounded by chocolate chips on top and some strawberries alongside. He licks his lips and wants it all to himself, but Theo said no and that he'll save him a piece. Fucking Theo. 

"You better save me a piece," Liam points out.

Theo chuckles, "don't worry, I will" 

Liam nods and smiles as Theo places it inside the display cabinet. He admires as Theo runs his hand through his hair and smiles at Liam ruffling his hair. Liam scowls and smacks Theo's hand away, "don't do that, dick" 

Theo pouts, "aw I thought you like when I play with your hair? You always purr and lean into my touch,” he teases. 

Liam scowls, “I do not purr”

“Yeah you do, you’re like a kitten. It’s adorable”

Liam glares and Theo smiles and shakes his head and Liam wonders if Theo knows how beautiful he looks right now with just some normal clothes and an apron. 

 

He already texted Scott and Stiles to come by to meet Theo since he wanted to be a surprise and they agreed. They wanted to meet the guy Liam is dating.  They’ve been dating for seven months and he never met Stiles and Scott and Liam wanted Theo to meet the two guys who helped him through his IED and his difficult times in high school. Especially Scott who was like a mentor for him and role model. Stiles was awesome also and helped Liam with his quick witt and sarcastic comments, he would either annoy or entertain him. Liam smiles at Theo as Theo looks at him confused. He didn’t know Scott and Stiles were coming and he was sort of nervous considering they’re about to meet the guy who Liam has completely fallen for. 

 

“Theo, do you need help?” Liam asks.

He always likes helping Theo with his baking and enjoyed being his taste tester, that was his favorite part. Besides if it means spending more time with Theo then yeah. He’s been busy with college and lacrosse and as team captain he has to think the best strategies to help win and his co-captain, Gwen, helps out a lot. He’s thankful she’s there to help since she’s the best at thinking of ideas. He’s been spending time studying and working extra hard especially in his history classes considering that’s his major and dream to become a history professor in a university. He still kept messaging and calling Theo time to time and they spent weekends with each other despite the hour distance considering it’s not far. It’s worth it to see Theo’s face and get to touch him even if it’s for a day or two. 

 

He’s still trying to convince Theo to sleepover but he knows how hard it is for him. Though Theo didn’t tell him everything, Liam can tell awful things have happened to him and he’s been in a bad place. Theo didn’t tell him a whole lot and Liam understands and respects that, he’ll stay by Theo’s side and won’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to do. Theo is one of the best things to have ever happened to him, he grounds him and calms him. He remembers whenever he would be close to lashing out and losing it, he would think of Theo and his smile and touches and would calm down. Theo still had problems at time with affectionate touches as Liam recalls when Theo flinched when Liam first touched him intimately. 

 

_Theo and Liam are sitting on the couch, making out passionately and Theo runs his hands through Liam’s hair, tugging. Liam moans and opens his mouth allowing Theo to slip his tongue in and both roamed each other’s mouth. Liam sucks on Theo’s tongue causing him to moan and Liam swallows it. Liam rugs Theo closer until he’s practically on Liam’s lap and he places his hand on Theo’s thigh squeezing. Immediately Theo tenses and Liam notices, letting go._

_“Hey Theo, baby you alright?” Liam says pulling away._

_Theo nods and breathes deeply a couple of times, “yeah yeah I’m fine let’s continue,” Theo says leaning in._

_“Hey, no are you sure? I don’t want to keep doing this if it’s going to make you tense and uncomfortable,” Liam says._

_“I’m fine, Liam, it’s nothing,” Theo reassures._

_“It doesn’t sound like nothing. Theo you tensed and froze, that doesn’t make it nothing,” Liam reasons._

_Theo puts his head down in shame and bites his lip. He looks upset and his shoulders sag. Liam tentatively puts his hand on Theo’s cheek and Theo turns and looks at him, looking vulnerable and broken. Liam’s heart breaks and he doesn’t like seeing how upset and hurt Theo is. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me. I’m not at all upset about this, we will go at your pace okay? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”_

 

_Liam strokes his finger across Theo’s cheek and Theo leans into the touch, breathing softly. Liam notices he’s calm now and isn’t as panicked as he was before. He gently places his hand over Theo’s heart and smiles at Theo, “we will take it at your pace okay? I don’t want to do something you’re uncomfortable with”_

_Theo shakes his head looking away, “it’s not that and I do appreciate this, honestly do. But I don’t deserve this, you can do better than someone who doesn’t tense up when all you did is touch my thigh”_

_Liam sits there shocked, how could Theo think this of himself? He realizes Theo is a complicated person and has a complex personality with walls built up so high and Liam hopes Theo would let him in even if it’s a little. “Hey, no I don’t. I deserve you, you’re good for me. Everyone has their boundaries, their limits. You have yours and I respect that, we are going slow. No need to rush into things, if you want to wait I’m willing to wait,” Liam runs his hand through Theo’s hair and Theo closes his eyes and lays his head on the couch._

 

_Theo opens his eyes and looks at Liam, “you would do that?”_

_Liam nods, “of course, it’s you”_

_Theo blushes and softly smiles at Liam, “thank you”_

_“You’re welcome, babe, now let’s watch some movies and eat popcorn and nachos”_

_“You and your fucking nachos,” Theo mutters._

_“Hey! I can’t help it, I have to watch a movie with nachos and jalapeños and besides you fucking eat your popcorn with hot sauce. That’s disgusting,” Liam sighs dreamily thinking about his nachos._

_Theo chuckles shaking his head, “don’t hate it till you try it,” he sees Liam pouting, “you’re adorable”_

_“‘Mn not, I’m hot. I’m handsome,” Liam says._

_Theo rolls his eyes, “yeah sure, sunshine,”_

_Liam growls playfully and kisses Theo’s cheek before getting up and making popcorn and nachos._

 

He realizes Theo can do these innocent touches and passionate kisses. But when it gets too much, he tenses and pulls back, they go slow of course and take their time just like Liam said. It took them three months before they had sex and even though they were constantly teased and joked about it from their friends, they just went along with it despite not exactly doing it. He knows Theo hid it from his friends and Liam would as well if it bothered Theo. He understands his reasons and he’s willing to respect that. 

 

They still fight, they’re both pretty stubborn and have pushed each other’s buttons a lot at times. Liam remembers punching Theo in the nose twice before apologizing and getting him an ice pack. He gave him a nose bleed twice from those punches and helped him each time because the anger does get the best of him. He hates it, he hates it so much when the only solution he has is anger and acts on it. He knows it’s not and Theo told him once it’s not. 

 

_“People only feel one emotion at a time, Liam."_

 

He remembers Theo telling him that after he almost beat the crap out of a guy who ambushed him in school when he was in HS. He remembers how he didn’t fight back otherwise he’ll get expelled again and he couldn’t risk it. His strength was too much, Scott once said, he had to learn to use it wisely otherwise he’ll be just like a time bomb waiting to explode. He’s gotten better at controlling his anger thanks to Scott and even Theo would help him. Theo always knew what to do and say whenever Liam was close to losing it and Liam was always thankful for it. 

 

“So Liam when was the last time you saw Theo? You guys are acting as if you haven’t seen each other in years?” Tracy comments licking frosting off a cupcake.

Theo glances at her and glares, “that’s coming off your paycheck” 

She shrugs and smirks, turning to Liam waiting for an answer.

“Uhh I think it was my birthday the last time we really hung out. We texted, FaceTimed, and all that,” he says, “my birthday right?” He turns to Theo and Theo thinks about it before he nods.

“When is your birthday?” Tracy asks and starts to eat the cupcake.

“March 18,” he says.

Her eyes widen and she has frosting all over her mouth, making Liam chuckle. 

“You guys haven’t seen each other in three weeks?” She says surprised.

“Yeah pretty much, I don’t know we survived,” Liam sarcastically says.

Truth is, he did miss Theo a lot even if they texted and FaceTimed. He missed his touches and snide comments. He missed his dry humor and that look in his eyes whenever he teased Liam or was being mischievous. 

“Asshole, what did you guys do on your birthday?” Tracy says grabbing another cupcake off the display counter.

Liam chuckles, “Theo is going to kill you” 

“He can’t kill me, Nolan won’t let him,” She smirks.

“Nolan will probably help him considering they’re best friends,” he points out. 

“That’s true, they are pretty close. So close I thought they were dating or should be,” She blurts out before she widens her eyes realizing what she said.

Liam stands there, shocked evident in his voice, “you thought they are or should be dating?” 

Tracy nervously laughs, “it’s not my fault, Nolan is affectionate with Theo and Theo didn’t seem to mind and sometimes returned the embraces,” she explains.

Liam isn’t jealous of Nolan, well he has in the beginning when he first met Theo but that’s because he thought they were dating. Now, they were on good terms and they were friends. Liam likes Nolan, he was a cool funny guy who was also affectionate towards Theo. Liam wouldn’t let it affect him because he trusts Theo and knows Theo wouldn’t hurt him like this. 

“Yeah but I don’t think it isn’t considering Theo is dating me and also Nolan has always been an affectionate guy. Just this morning he greeted me by hugging me and kissing my cheek,” he smirks. 

He knows Nolan only gets affectionate if he likes you enough and that makes him swell with warmth because if Nolan likes him enough then he likes him enough for Theo. He usually doesn’t care but the thought that Theo’s closest and best friend approves of him makes him happy. He wonders if Theo feels the same about him since Mason and Corey approve of him. He hopes Scott and Stiles will also. Their opinion also matters, well Scott more than Stiles but same thing. 

 

“That’s true,” Tracy says cutting Liam’s thoughts, “but you didn’t answer my question,” she said taking another bite of the cupcake.

“Which was?” He asks already forgotten.

She rolls her eyes and smirks, “what did you guys do on your birthday?” 

He smiles wide, “oh yeah! Well this asshole,” he points at Theo who is organizing the display and helping customers, “woke me up at 5AM and took me to the beach for breakfast. After that we spent time there till around the afternoon and he dragged me back home. There he did a small get together with Mason, Corey, Hayden, Gwen, and Nolan with snacks, cake, and lots of pastries. It was fun and we had fun, best birthday by far,” he smiles at the memories of his birthday with all the ones he loves the most in one room, though Scott, Stiles, Malia, Lydia, Isaac, and Kira couldn’t make it then again Theo didn’t invite them since he didn’t know them. 

 

He remembers Theo’s soft happy smile when Liam looked at him surprised. He remembers all his friends laughing and enjoying themselves and it felt good. “Thanks for the invite asshole,” Tracy teases.

“Hey! I didn’t do the invites, Theo did,” he accuses looking at Theo who is talking to Nolan. 

Theo hearing his name turns around and smiles at Liam. Liam blushes and turns back to Tracy who’s looking at them with a smile on her face, “aww you guys are so cute, I’m going to puke,” she gags.

“Shut up,” he mumbles, blushing. 

“Tracy, your break is over in 10,” Theo comes over.

“Alright boss,” she smirks and starts to grab two cookies. 

“Hey!” Theo says and playfully smacks Tracy’s hand away, “no sweets for you unless you’re going to pay for them.”

Tracy pouts and huffs knowing it won’t work on Theo, “Fine I’ll stop but I expect plenty of cookies and sweets on my birthday,” she says. 

Theo nods, chuckling, “I’ll make sure to bring you plenty of pastries” 

She nods smiling, “good now bye I’m going to clean up,” she says and walks past Nolan, ruffling his hair before going to the bathroom. 

 

“I like her,” Liam says.

Theo smirks, “yeah same, that’s why I hired her, well that and she knows how to use the coffee machine”

Liam chuckles and looks at Theo, “I missed you” 

Theo looks taken back for a second before he smiles and wraps his arm around Liam’s shoulders, “me too,” he leans down and kisses Liam’s hair. 

“So how long till your break?” Liam asks, he wants to make sure Theo isn’t busy when Scott and Stiles come by any moment. 

He wants them to meet properly and to not have interruptions. 

Theo looks at the time, “my next break is in half an hour then Nolan will take my shift”

Liam looks at Nolan who’s eating a sandwich at the table, Nolan notices Liam staring and winks, smiling. 

 

Liam smirks and rolls his eyes. “Why are you asking?” Theo asks.

“Oh because I want to spend time with you of course,” Liam says.

It’s not exactly a lie he does want to spend more time, but he also wants him to meet his other friends.  

“You’re spending time with me right now,” Theo points out. 

“Yeah well you’re working,” he shrugs. 

“Are you bored?” Theo asks.

Liam shakes his head, “I have Tracy who is about to go back to her job okay, I have who’s on a break right now?” Liam asks

“Well at this moment no one, in half an hour it’ll be me and Corey,” Theo says. 

Liam nods, “I’ll wait then besides my surprise will probably be here any minute anyways”

Theo smirks, “cool can’t wait to see what it is. I hope it’s something good”

“You’ll just have to wait and see”

Theo smiles and kisses Liam’s temple. He moves away to get to work and Liam sends out a text to Scott to hurry up. He gets the message right away that they’ll be there in 10 minutes and Liam starts to get nervous. 

 

What if they don’t like Theo? What if Theo doesn’t like them? He hopes they get along and he wishes for Mason to be here. He knows Mason is at their place studying and Corey is working. God, he needs someone to talk to. He looks over at Nolan and sees him drinking while looking at him, smirking. He probably noticed Liam pacing and knows what he’s thinking. Nolan is on break, he might as well talk to him. 

“Doesn’t hurt to try,” he mumbles as he walks towards him. 

He walks over to him and Nolan keeps looking at him, smirking. He stands up in front of him, crossing his arms.

“Nervous?” Nolan says. 

Liam slumps, “fuck yeah I’m nervous. I’m about to introduce my friends to Theo” 

“Sit down” 

Liam pulls the chair out and sits in front of him. “So Liam, what difference does it make from the others? He already met Hayden, Gwen, Mason, and obviously already knows Corey. What’s so special about these people?” He asks.

“Well they’re not just my friends. Especially one of them, one of them is like a mentor to me. He is like a role model and I don’t want him to dislike Theo and I don’t want Theo to dislike him. Both of them are really important to me and I would be bothered if they don’t like each other. The other one is his best friend and I also consider him a close friend, they both are like a package. They’re close best friends like brothers,” Liam explains. 

“So let me get this straight. Both mean a lot to you but one of them means more, so you want both to approve because they’re both so close that if one doesn’t like someone the other wouldn’t either?” Nolan summarizes.

“Kind of but something like that. I just want them to like Theo because it’ll mean a lot to me if they do,” he nervously runs his hand through his hair.

“Oh you never mentioned their names, what are they?” Nolan asks, sipping his drink.

“Scott and Stiles”

Nolan widens his eyes and spits out his water having it sprayed on Liam’s face. Liam widens his eyes as Nolan looks at him with panic and shock. 

“Scott and Stiles?” He whisper shouts.

“That’s so gross, what the fuck,” Liam sneers and grabs napkins, wiping his face.  

“Liam! Pay attention here. Is this Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski?” Nolan urges.

“Yes them, what does that have to do with anything?”

 

Nolan gets up, “oh no oh no. No no, cancel. Don’t let them come cancel”

“What? Why?” He asks.

What the fuck is up with Nolan? He is acting strange and why does he care if Scott and Stiles come or don’t. Does he know them or something. “Do it, now. Just please,” he pleads. 

“It’s too late, they’re at the door right there,” he points out as Scott and Stiles walk in. 

Nolan widens his eyes and he stares as they walk over to the counter where Theo is at, back facing them. Nolan whispers, “fucking shit fuck,” and walks towards them. 

Liam sighs, annoyed Nolan isn’t telling him anything and walks towards them. 

“Liam” Scott smiles when he notices him. 

Liam smiles and looks towards Theo who has his back facing them, but he seems tense. 

“Hey it’s the ticking time bomb,” Stiles teases. 

“Fuck you, I learned to control my anger even better now,” Liam smirks.

Scott hugs him and Stiles pushes him over to hug him also. He hasn’t seen them in six months and finally got to see them again. With  Stiles busy in the FBI academy and Scott in college, time has been tough. He turns to Theo and sees Nolan next to him whispering something while rubbing his back. He softly growls and glares, he doesn’t like when Nolan touches him like that sometimes. He takes deep breathes because he knows Nolan and Theo are just best friends and it’s what mason would do for him and vice versa. “Guys this is Theo Raeken, my boyfriend,” he smiles and points out him out.

Scott and Stiles’ eyes widen and they stare at Theo’s back.

“Theo?” Scott whispers. 

Liam looks over at Theo whose fists are clenched and sort of shaking. “Theo?” He whispers and walks over to him. 

He softly places his hand on his shoulder and Theo jerks away and slowly turns around to face Scott and Stiles. Liam can practically feel the tension as Theo stares shockingly at Scott and Stiles. He opens his mouth as if he’s going to say something but closes it. Liam looks at him with worry and reaches over to place his hand on Theo’s shoulder, but Theo makes takes a deep breathe and runs to the back. Liam looks back at where Theo went to and looks back at Scott and Stiles who look awkward and nervous.

“What just happened?” He looks at Nolan.

Nolan looks at him with worry and glares at Scott and Stiles. “I’m going to take care of customers, Liam you go check on Theo,” he says coldly, still staring at Scott and Stiles. 

Liam widens his eyes a bit, surprised Nolan sounded so cold and rude. He realized Nolan was still glaring and he walked to the counter. Liam looks at Scott and Stiles, “we’ll wait here,” Scott says softly. 

Stiles nods and gestures to the back room, “go check on him”

Liam looks for a few seconds, confused, “okay but you have to tell me everything when we get back, the truth”

They stiffly nod and go to find an empty table. Liam nods to himself and goes to the back. He enters and looks to see Theo on the ground, hyperventilating, he quickly walks towards him and drops to his knees. “Theo!” 

 

* * *

 

Fuck fuck. He can’t breathe, he can’t. He tries to breathe in and out. 

 

In and out

 

In and out

 

In and out 

 

It doesn’t work, it’s not working. He grips the table hard until his knuckles turn white and start shaking. He saw them again. Fuck he can’t, he’s been here for a long time and he sees them now for the first time. The worst part is they are Liam’s friends. They’re his role models, he looks up to them. Fuck fuck. He tries to catch his breath and tries to take control, he can’t. He can’t. He can’t. He falls to the ground and clenched his hands into fists, he needs to get control back. He needs to control his breathing.

 

In and out

 

In and out

 

In and-

 

He can’t do it. This hasn’t happened in a while, he didn’t think he would need his medicine at all. He threw it out when he thought he was stronger, better at control. Guess he was wrong, damn it. His chest feels like it’s on fire screaming for oxygen, for him to breathe. And Theo tried, desperate, to open his mouth but it didn’t work. He doesn’t know how long he tries and he hears a door opening and footsteps walking fast towards him, he tries to focus on one thing on anything. He hears the person drop to the ground near him.

“Theo!” 

 

Liam. It’s Liam. Liam who never seen him like this, never seen him lose control. Fuck, he probably thinks I’m worthless now and unstable. His panic attack becomes worse after that, his thoughts invading and choking him. 

“Just take deep breathes," Liam demonstrated. 

Theo struggled. He can't breathe. He can't breathe. He tried to take deep breathes in and out. In and out. His chest was still burning and he feels the tightness and desperation in his chest becoming harder and harder. 

"I can't-I cant do it," he brokenly says.

Liam looks deep in thought till realization hits him, "Theo just listen to the sound of my voice, listen to my breathing. Focus on that," Liam looks sincere.

Theo slowly nods and Liam takes deep breathes with Theo, "Like this," Liam takes deep breathes.

 

In and out 

 

In and out.

 

In and out.

 

"Follow the rhythm of your heart, Theo. In and out. In and out, place your hand on your heart and listen to the beat. To the rhythm," Theo deeply exhales and inhales.

Theo places his hand on his chest and keeps his hand there and tries to follow his own heartbeat. In and out. In and out. 

Finally after what he feels like hours, he can control it now. He has control back. He deeply sighs. He feels his breathing going back to normal and stays on the ground for a while. After a few minutes which felt like hours, he looks up at Liam who’s looking at him with worry and concern. He crawls over and places his head on Liam's shoulder, "I'm sorry," he mumbles.

"What for?" Liam gently places his hand and runs his fingers through Theo's hair.

"For letting you watch that," Theo grumbles.

"Hey no I don't care Theo if you still get panic attacks and you have all these problems. They mean nothing, I still like you for you. That won't change, no matter what issues or problems you have, we can help each other. You watched me lose control because of my IED and still stayed and helped me. I’ll be here for you for as long as you’ll have me, no matter what,” Liam kisses his hair.

“I have a lot of baggage,” Theo mumbles and places his head on the crook of Liam’s neck.

“I don’t care, everyone has baggage. We all have our own and I accept yours and still want you and your baggage. No matter how big or small, I’ll take it all,” Liam softly says. 

Theo doesn’t know what to respond, no one’s ever said something like that. Not even Josh. It’s such simple words yet has a deep meaning to him, he doesn’t know how to respond. He stays silent a few moments just processing it and lightly kisses Liam’s neck as a response. Liam seems to accept it as he happily hums. “I accept your baggage, too. No matter how big or small,” Theo whispers.

Liam softly smiles at that and they stay in the same position for a bit just wanting to stay in each other’s space for a bit.

 

“I know you want to know,” Theo whispers.

“Want to know what?” Liam asks.

“Why I freaked out and went all you know when I saw Scott and uh Stiles,” he says.

“You don’t have to tell me now, you can tell me when you’re ready or not. I don’t want you to be forced to tell me,” Liam says and continues to run his fingers through Theo’s hair.

“No, no I want to,” Theo says and tries to get comfortable. 

Liam softly smiles and pats his thigh, “lay your head here and tell me...like I’m your therapist,” Liam teases.

“Ha Ha I don’t like the idea that I’m fucking my therapist,” he teases back. 

“It’s okay, I’ll keep it a secret,” Liam winks.

Theo smiles gratefully that Liam is trying to lighten the mood to make it easier on Theo. It works a little bit and he sighs, “this is such a dirty floor,” he mumbles.

Liam rolls his eyes, “it’s not like you have a couch here”

“We actually do but in Nolan and me’s office,” he gestures to the office.

Liam stares at him blankly and gets up, dragging Theo with him, “you could’ve said that earlier how come I didn’t know at all?” 

Theo shrugs, “never asked”

“True”

They head into the office and Liam turns to see the couch big enough for them to lay down on. He looks around at the office with a desk and piles of paper stacked on top, “damn it Nolan, I’m going to have to do the paperwork later,” Theo sighs.

“Hey none of that, come here,” Liam sits on the couch and pats his thigh. Theo rolls his eyes, smiling a bit and lays his head on Liam’s thigh. He turns his head to the side so that he doesn’t have to look at Liam when he tells the story. He feels Liam running his fingers through his hair and leans into the touch. He tightly presses his lips and clenches his fist. Once. Twice. Nervousness creeps through his body and he takes a deep breathe. 

 

“I always knew I liked boys when I was young. There was never like a shocking moment where I’m like ‘oh no I’m gay’ it was always ‘yeah I already know’ and I did. It’s who I am and I’m not ashamed of it no matter how much I was bullied for it by classmates and parents. I realized it and accepted it, I was pretty young maybe 11 or 12, I wasn’t sure. I was sure though when I had my first crush,” he deeply sighs and takes a deep breathe before he continues, “it was um..it was Stiles that I first fell for. He was my best friend, him and Scott and even though Stiles and I didn’t get along as well as Scott and I, I still developed feelings for him. I remember I would want to be close to him, sit next to him, you know those things you do when you have a school boy crush on someone,” Liam hums and continues to run his fingers through Theo’s hair, “it’s weird like I never expected to like Stiles, he was a weird guy, we got a long but not like him and Scott or me and Scott. Scott and I were strictly friends and I only liked him as a friend. Stiles on the other hand, I remember thinking I just wanted to kiss him and stay with him all the time. It was weird because there were times where we couldn’t stand each other and just wanted to kill the other. But I fell for him and um-the-the last two days of our stay in Beacon Hills, I decided that I-I wanted to tell him that I liked him because it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again. So I told him how I felt for him because I decided why not? I’m leaving anyways might as well risk it. I was 12 and a dumbass. So I did and actually kissed him on the mouth. He uh he actually shoved me to the ground and wiped his mouth in disgust and said ‘what the hell Theo?! You're a boy and I'm a boy. Boys aren't supposed to kiss other boys. That's gross and wrong! You're being disgusting’ and proceeded to punch me in the nose and cheek,” Liam’s grip on his hand tightened a little and he could practically feel the rage radiating off Liam, he softly squeezes Liam’s hand loosening the tight hold a bit, “after that, I went home and was pretty heartbroken and angry. Angry at myself for thinking Stiles felt the same and for me being stupid enough to kiss him. Then I started panicking that he’s going to tell Scott and I’m going to lose him because Stiles might tell him some bullshit like I have a crush on Scott, too. I couldn’t risk it, I didn’t want to lose my best friend like that so the next day I went over to Scott’s and Stiles was already there so I told them to never contact me, never talk to me, I don’t want to be friends with them anymore. I told them I hated them and that they were lousy friends, I was being dramatic I know. But I wanted to make sure they believed it enough to not try especially Scott since he was always a nice guy and would try to get a hold of me. So I decided to say all that and it worked. Scott looked upset and sad, he wanted to know why all of a sudden I’m like this and Stiles didn’t do anything, he was probably too busy staring at the bruise on my nose and cheek. Maybe he just didn’t care and he actually wanted to get rid of me. After that, I cut all ties with them, deleted their numbers, never spoke to them again. I actually saw Stiles a few years ago before I moved here. He was with a guy so I’m guessing he figured out that he wasn’t entirely straight, “he laughs dryly.

 

“Scott tried to contact me, but I ignored them all. Ripped up the letters and threw them away. I broke their trust, especially Stiles. I shouldn’t have kissed him, I was a dumb teenager. I was so mad at Stiles for saying those words to me and wanted nothing to do than hurt him, but it was replaced with hurt because of what he said and the way he said it. Like he was actually disgusted of me which he probably was. It was all my fault and I ruined it all. Now I’ve learned that we were young, sure there’s some hurt there because he never apologized I guess, but we were young and stupid. He’s grown up and obviously learned his lesson and knows now,” Theo’s voice cracked. 

He isn’t going to cry in front of Liam, he doesn’t him to see him as a weak person who cries over something that happened in the past. 

“Hey Theo, it was never your fault. Like you said, you guys were both kids. Sure, Stiles is a complete dumbass for saying those horrible things to you, but it was never your fault,” he runs his fingers through Theo’s hair, “you’re an amazing guy and you went through something horrible, I don’t blame you for wanting to cut off all ties. I’m glad you feel better about it but you still haven’t had closure and it’s weighing heavy on your shoulders. You shouldn’t hold all these weight on your shoulder, it’s not healthy.” Theo snorts at that, if Liam knew, “I’m sorry this happened to you, you don’t deserve to hear those words and I’m thankful you told me. If you want I can go kill Stiles right now?” Liam jokes.

 

Theo chuckles and squeezes Liam’s hand, “I’m good, I don’t mind you punching him though,” he jokes. 

“Okay,” Liam said serious. 

“What? No, I’m joking,” Theo says.

Liam shrugs and kisses Theo’s forehead as he rises up. They sit in silence for a few minutes, hands intertwined. “Thank you for hearing me complain, sorry for bothering you,” Theo says.

He feels embarrassed he told Liam and feels already the shame and regret already filling him up. 

“Hey it’s no bother, I’d be happy to hear whatever you have to say. No matter what, you can tell me anything,” Liam squeezes his hand. 

 

Theo smiles at him, small and little. He still feels like a burden who threw his problems at Liam. Liam is probably annoyed by him and thinks he’s pathetic for doing what he did. Fuck he shouldn’t have told Liam, he’s still happy he told him something personal trusting him enough, but still can feel the doubt in his head that’s filling up. He shouldn’t have said anything if he’s just going to feel like this. Liam pulls on his hand, catching his attention as he looks up at Liam who softly smiles at him. “I know how hard it is for you to tell me this sort of stuff, I’m glad you trust me enough. You shouldn’t feel bad or think I’m annoyed of you. I would never be annoyed by you, ever. We are in a relationship, we are supposed to talk and trust each other enough to talk about subjects like this and more,” Liam runs his hand through Theo’s hair till he reaches his cheek and Theo leans into the touch, “you can trust me with anything. You don’t have to tell me everything now or even later, I just want you to know that you can trust me and tell me whatever you want”

Theo wishes his whole self would believe that. He knows he can and does, but not fully. He still can’t and he feels bad he doesn’t. He’s thankful Liam understands enough that Theo can’t and possibly won’t tell him everything now or maybe even in the future. They stay close shoulder to shoulder until Theo realizes they should probably get out and see Scott and Stiles now, dread fills him once again and he deeply breathes in and out. He pushes himself off the couch, hand still connecting with Liam and Liam stands up with him. 

 

“Are you okay?” Theo nods his head and Liam squeezes his.

“Are you good to go out there?” 

“Yeah, Liam, I’m fine,” he lies. 

Theo knows Liam can tell he’s lying but he’s thankful he doesn’t comment on it and grips his hand a bit tighter as they exit the kitchen. They spot Scott and Stiles sitting on a table not too far from them, they catch their eyes and hold contact and Theo already feels like going back inside. Liam squeezes his hand and slowly rubs his thumb along his and Theo takes deep breathes

 

In and out

 

In and out

 

In and out 

 

Liam continues to rub his thumb against his and Theo feels himself slowly calming down. He’s glad he has someone doing their best to keep him at ease. He’s glad he has Liam. They walk towards the table and Scott and Stiles stand up, nervous looks on their faces. 

“Theo-“ Scott begins but gets cut off.

Liam punches Stiles in the face hard enough to have Stiles fall backwards with a nose bleed. Theo widens his eyes and grips Liam’s bicep to keep him from hitting again, he can feel Liam calming down. Scott widens his eyes and stares at Liam then glances at Stiles, helping him up. 

 

“What the fuck, Liam? What the hell was that for?” Stiles groans and holds his nose. 

“That was for what you did to Theo years ago, dick,” Liam glares.

Stiles freezes, shock and guilt etched on his face. He doesn’t answer because he knows he deserves that punch for what he did to Theo and probably more. He cautiously sits back down and pushes his hair back to avoid worsening the nose bleed. 

“Actually uh-,” Theo clears his throat, “you’re supposed to push your head forward towards your knees, that way you don’t..um..choke on your..uh...blood,” Theo turns red as Stoles catches his eye. 

“Huh, who knew?” Scott smirks and shoves Stiles head forward ignoring his groan. 

“Ouch the fuck Scott? I’m not your bitch you can shove around,” Stiles growls.

“Well you sort of did deserve that punch for all the trouble you’ve gotten us into,” Scott smirks. 

Stiles glares, “you’re not my friend anymore” 

“You just lost the only best friend you’ve ever had,” Scott jokes. 

“It’s okay I have Lydia, Malia, Isaac, Mason, Corey...”

“Derek,” Scott chimes in.

Stiles blushes and stammers, “well yeah yeah I have-I have him,” he clears his throat, “Yeah I have him” 

“What the fuck Stiles!” Liam yells.

Theo jumps back at the outburst and Liam looks at him apologetically, Stiles jumps,”what? You were the one who punched me!” Stiles says as he dabs his nose with napkins.

“You deserve it, asshole,” Liam glares.

Theo squeezes his bicep, “Liam it’s okay”

 

Theo doesn’t want Liam to be mad at his friends especially the ones who were there for him and helped him through his IED. He doesn’t want to cause any more trouble than he already has. Even though it was funny seeing Stiles getting punched and a little well deserved, he doesn’t want his little problem to cause this argument.

“It’s not okay Theo, he made you feel guilty like it was all your fault. He broke your heart in the worst way possible,” Liam says glaring at Stiles.  

Scott looks at Liam in confusion, “what are you talking about, Liam? We haven’t seen Theo in a while, what did Stiles do?” 

Theo looks around and noticed everyone staring and Nolan glances at him with a look ‘want me to get you out of this?’ Theo shakes his head and Nolan nods, slightly smiling as good luck. “Can we go somewhere more private?” Theo asks, “people are staring”

 

They notice all the stares they’re getting and Scott helps Stiles up. “Where?” Scott asks. 

“To the back, the staff room,” Theo turns and walks, the three following him. 

They enter the staff room which has a table, refrigerator, small lockers, water cooler, and three of them sit on the table. Liam and Theo sit close, shoulders touching and Scott and Stiles sit on the other side, still dabbing his nose. 

“You’re such a big baby,” Liam smirks.

“Oh yeah when someone punches you in the nose, you are bones of steel and feel no pain,” Stiles sarcastically says. 

“Anyways,” Scott says breaking the tension, “what did you do, Stiles?” 

All three look at Stiles who looks nervous and guilty all of a sudden, he places the napkins on the table and fidgets with his fingers. “When we were 12, it was the last few days before Theo left and we were all hanging out. I don’t know exactly how it happened because it’s all sort of a blur to me, but Theo ended up kissing me and I-I well I shoved him on the ground hard,” Theo looks at his hands, clenching his fists causing his nails to stab into his skin. He can feel a bit pain but it’s not enough where he can ignore Stiles’ words. He sees Liam grabbing his hands and unclenching them, holding them tight and softly rubbing his palms. “I then, punched him on the nose and said some things,” Stiles says, looking guilty.

Scott stares at him with a shocked expression then smacks him on the head, “ouch why is everyone hitting me? Wait don’t answer that, I know why” Stiles groans and rubs his head. 

“You don’t remember what you said,” Theo growls, angry that the words Stiles said to him have been stuck inside his head on repeat for all these years and the one who said them doesn’t even remember. 

Stiles looks at him apologetically, “I don’t remember much, just I think I called you disgusting?” 

Theo glares, “You fucking said  _boys aren't supposed to kiss other boys. That's gross and wrong! You're being disgusting._ ” 

Scott stares wide eyed and shocked that Stiles would say that and looks over at Stiles who is looking so guilty and Scott smacks him against the head again. 

“Ouch! Scott, stop. I’m going to lose brain cells because of you”

“Good, you deserve it,” Liam says still holding Theo’s hands.

 

Stiles takes a deep breathe and looks at Theo, apologetic and guilt in his eyes, “I’m sorry, Theo. I was a stupid kid, I didn’t know any better. If I could take it back I could. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that and have you cut off all ties with us,” Stiles looks at him apologetically.

“I’m not mad at you, Stiles, I was at first and I wanted nothing to do more than to hurt you badly. But the anger went away and I realized we were young, you couldn’t have known better so it’s all good now,” Theo rushes out.

He doesn’t know what to say, Stiles apologized and he was mad, angry and seething with revenge at first. All of that was replaced with hurt and pain, he had to numb the inner pain with outer pain and it worked until it disappeared and he had to start the cycle again. 

“No it’s not,” Scott says, “Stiles hurt you and you do deserve an apology and some closure” 

Theo doesn’t say anything, doesn’t know what to say so he stays silent. Scott stares at Stiles pointedly gestures to Theo and stiles sits up straight, “seriously Theo I am sorry, I’ve learned growing up and I wished I could’ve told you sorry sooner when I found out you moved back to Beacon Hills and visited to say so,” Stiles said.

Theo nods, “yeah you should’ve” 

“So are we good?” Stiles asked

Theo snorts, “we are good, but we aren’t friends or anything more than what we are now. Except that we might have to hang out once in awhile for Liam’s sake,” Theo gestures to Liam. 

“You don’t have to, I don’t want to bother you guys,” Liam says interlacing their hands together. 

“You’re not,” Stiles shakes his head, “we are good, we’ll be friendly,” Stiles winks at Theo. 

Theo stares at Stiles, “too soon?” Stiles sheepishly says.

“Too soon,” Scott and Liam say. 

 

“Scott,” Theo says before Scott and Stiles leave Liam’s apartment. 

They’ve hung out for a few days before Scott went back to university and Stiles went back to the FBI Academy and although it was a bit awkward for Theo, well a lot awkward, he’s glad to have made some sort of amends with them. They went out to lunch a few times and Liam hung out with them on his own most of the time while Theo experimented some new pastry designs and flavors. Even Mason and Corey hung out with them a few times, but wanted to spend time together alone or had to study. Scott kept convincing Theo to come and join them, but Theo only did if Liam was there, he would’ve been more uncomfortable if Liam wasn’t there. He knows they won’t be like they used to, they’ll probably nothing but acquaintances maybe friends. He’s fine with that as long as they get along when all four hand out, he doesn’t mind. It still makes him tense seeing Stiles sometimes, he has his moments, but he’s glad he doesn’t feel like hurting himself because of the pain that pounds through him. They did talk a bit to work it out privately and Theo was more at ease than before and even though they're still awkward around each other, Theo is glad he doesn't panic whenever he sees him or feels uncomfortable to the point where he needs to leave. 

“Yeah?” Scott turns before he gets in Stiles’ Jeep.

They’re driving to the airport and although Liam suggested to come, Stiles and Scott said no they don’t want to be a bother and that they already said their goodbyes. Theo didn’t know if he felt relief or a bit upset that they are leaving. He’s relieved because he was uncomfortable most of the time and seeing Stiles again brought back some bad memories and he does hope someday he won’t associate him with only those and he won’t feel a bit tense around him. 

“I just want to apologize for ignoring you and cutting ties off with you. I knew you were trying to reach out and I shut you out, sorry,” Theo says. 

And he is sorry, he feels bad he cut off Scott, not so much Stiles because he was upset with him, but Scott deserved an explanation and why he was getting cut off. 

“Theo, it’s okay. I understand now why you did it. Stiles can be a dumbass,” Scott teases, “but I get it. I was pissed and hurt you cut us off since we were best friends but I’m glad it’s cleared up now,” Scott smiles, warm and kind. 

 

He knows Scott is like some sort of saint and sweet and polite. He’s always been kind to those who don’t deserve it and Theo knows he doesn’t deserve it. “Still I feel bad, man, you didn’t deserve that” 

“No I didn’t, but you explaining it made me understand more,” Scott says, “seriously don’t worry about it. We are good now”

Theo nods and though he doesn’t believe it fully, he accepts Scott’s answer and him and Liam watch as they drive away. Theo wraps his arm around Liam’s shoulder and places his head in the crook of Liam’s neck. Liam hums appreciatively, “thank you,” Liam whispers.

“What for?” Theo whispers

“For doing this, for hanging out with them despite what Stiles did. For not taking it out with rage and anger when you saw him. For being you,” Liam says. 

Theo blushes and buries his head even more in the crook of Liam’s neck and Liam softly chuckles. “I didn’t do anything, Liam. Stiles did grow up and learned. All I needed was closure and got it,” Theo says.

“You grew up, too and you got your closure. I’m glad you did this, you needed it,” Liam says. 

Theo nods, he did. He knows he needed the closure or an apology to calm his nightmares and voices. Although they aren’t as bad as they used to be and they don’t make him want to cause pain to himself, he still feels like that closure helped him a bit more than before. As Theo and Liam walk back inside Liam’s apartment and strip to their boxers, laying in bed. Theo feels exhausted from these past three days and feels the weight of the world slowly leaving his shoulders as he sinks into the foam mattress. Liam wraps his arms around Theo’s waist and pulls him in closer, kissing his neck. Theo relaxes in Liam’s arms and lets out a sigh.

“Are you staying over?” Liam asks, kissing his temple. 

Theo feels tense for a second and thinks about saying no to him because he feels it’s too intimate. They’ve been going out for about six months and Theo feels a sense of fear and comfort that he trusts Liam enough to say, “yeah yeah I’ll sleepover,” he mumbles. 

Liam smiles wide and presses his face against Theo’s hair and kisses it, “really?” Theo can hear the smile in his voice.

“Yeah really. Just don’t snore loud and drool,” Theo jokes.

“I don’t do either of those,” Liam says.

“Sure Liam, we’ll see about that tonight,” Theo teases. 

Liam tightens his hold a bit around Theo and tangles their legs together. “I’m happy you’re finally sleeping over,” Liam says.

“I’m happy, too” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED. IF MADE AN ERROR LEMME KNOW PLEASE. Also for the panic attack, I did research about it and found out that some people don't like to be touched when experiencing one and and the attack can get worse if being touched or too close so I used that to help me.


	11. Authors update again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry

I’m sorry I’m a bad author. I was actually starting on the chapter after I published the other stories till I got sick and couldn’t continue because the words gave me a headache but now I’m at it again and actually have the last chapter down and this chapter down. So I’m going somewhere though the last chapter isn’t so happy in a way you would think but it’s bittersweet and I might add an epilogue so that’s good. I deeply apologize and am so sorry, I’ve been shitty and I know you guys probably don’t read it anymore and will skip this but I just wanted to let you guys know. Bye bye love ya all

 

thank you, 

m


	12. October, 2018

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween party, alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR TAKING MILLIONS OF YEARS TO UPDATE!! I was writing then I got sick for a whole week, then I finally got down to business. I think I'll add two more before the epilogue or just one more then the epilogue. The ending is bittersweet and happy in some ways, sad in other ways. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -Mentions of death  
> -Mentions of self harm
> 
> If I forgot any, lemme know please.

“What are you going as?” Theo asks as he takes the skull shaped cookies out of the oven.

“I don’t know, Mason and I are thinking of wearing matching couple outfits,” Corey smiles and licks frosting off of one of the cookies.

Theo glares at him and grabs the cookies away making Corey pout, “what is it with you guys eating my pastries? They are for selling and buying not for you guys to munch on,” Theo states.

“But you’re such a good baker and we can’t help but love your pastries,” Corey smiles.

“Flattery gets you nowhere”

“I know it never works out,” Corey pouts, “it works on Liam though”

Theo snickers, “yeah that asshole knows what those blue eyes do to me” 

“He uses them on everyone, bastard can make someone turn into a puddle looking at them,” Corey jokes.

“Makes who turn into a puddle?” Nolan comes in holding two boxes of dough and supplies.

“Is that what I ordered from three weeks ago?” Theo asks

“That or they messed up on the delivery,” Nolan smirks and grunts.

Theo rolls his eyes and places the cookies to cool down on the counter while helping Nolan with the boxes, “you’re a weak little nothing aren’t you?” 

“If I can carry you, I can carry anything,” Nolan scolds.

“Are you calling me fat?” 

“I’m calling you heavy, so yeah pretty much”

Theo smacks Nolan on the arm, “ouch! Theo,” he whines, “now you have to kiss it better” 

“No”

“Aww come on, if I was Liam you would’ve kissed it”

“Actually if you were Liam, you would’ve sucked it up and hit me back” 

“Abusive relationship you got going on,” Nolan snickers

“You know it’s not like that, we wrestle playfully but our arguments never broke into physical fights well except twice he punched me in the nose. That was because I said something really hurtful so I don’t blame him and I once punched his nose so we are even,” Theo shrugs. 

“Liam told me about that,” Corey nods.

“Theo never told me that story,” Nolan looks hurt.

“You were having a rough time, I didn’t want to bother you”

And Nolan was, he wasn’t taking his medicine anymore around that time and so he didn’t get much sleep and kept wandering around the town, it got to the point where he would pass out during work without realizing it. Then, it was the anniversary of when he got out of his parents’ place so he was upset and down for a few weeks. Theo didn’t want to trouble him with his problems and Nolan had his own to deal with at the time. He just forced Nolan to sleepover at his place for a week or two till he got a bit happier and he did eventually. Nolan moved out two days ago after talking to Theo about feeling better and getting new pills to help with his sleeping and depression. 

 

Liam, at first, was a bit jealous because he didn’t know about Nolan since it wasn’t Theo’s business to tell and just told him he needed someone. Liam started calling everyday to check up on him and Nolan, even though nothing new happened to him in less than 24 hours that he has to tell Liam. Liam finally backed off when Nolan talked to him and explained the situation and then Liam apologized to Theo for not trusting him enough and Theo gets it. He really did, it annoyed him but he knew Liam was jealous of Nolan from the start and that didn’t change. Liam and Nolan are friends now and get along well, but he can still sense Liam’s little jealousy at times and he gets why. Him and Nolan are close and best friends, Nolan can get affectionate with him especially and close. Theo would do the same if there was someone doing that to Liam so yeah, he gets it. It annoys him and he sometimes wants to pound his head against the wall, but he gets it. 

 

“Dude, Theo”

Theo turns to look at Corey and Nolan who are looking at him, faces filled with concern.

“Yeah?”

“You okay, man?” Corey asks

“Yeah yeah I’m fine. I was just thinking,” Theo nods his head and places the boxes on top of the counter for now and gets back to the cookies. He makes sure they’re cooling before carefully taking them out and placing them on a plate. 

“Are you sure?” Nolan asks.

“Guys! I’m fine, I’m not going to shake myself to death and start to lose control. I’m good,” Theo glares and starts on a new batch of pumpkin shaped cookies made with actual pumpkin. 

Corey and Nolan nod and head outside to help with the customers and help Tracy. Theo sighs and starts to work on making the cookies for the party. He is annoyed by them checking up on him every hour of every minute of everyday. He understands why since a week ago, Theo went to a horrible place again filled with nightmares and the dreaded thought of emptiness and coldness seeped his bones and haunted him day and night. He relapsed again and panicked. He started to go back and had an aching feeling to get the pain to stop and kept shaking till he left work early. The anniversary of his sister’s death and the nightmares of his dad burning and hitting him woke up him every night for two weeks in cold sweat and screams that made his voice so hoarse, he drank tea and honey to help his throat. He remembers needing control and doing what he can to gain it back again. So he went back to his old ways and bit till he bled and bit his nails till they reached skin. That’s how Nolan and Liam found him, on his knees scratching his old wounds and cigarette burns till they bleed and ache. God he remembers seeing the look of horror on Liam’s face and kneeling down grabbing Theo’s wrists to stop him from scratching, but it couldn’t stop his shaking. 

 

He still feels a flood of embarrassment every time he thinks about Liam rubbing his wrists as he disinfected and bandaged his wounds. He remembers Liam lightly touching his wounds and taking care of them. He was too shocked to move, to breath, all he remembers is Liam taking care of them and trying to stop shaking. But he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop shaking even when he couldn’t see the blood or scratches anymore. He remembers Liam pulling him up and helping him on the couch, he remembers Nolan whispering something in Liam’s ear and then leaving with a kiss on Theo’s forehead. He remembers Liam holding his shaking hands and kissing his knuckles. Then, Liam started talking about everything and anything while holding Theo’s hands and massaging them. Theo was thankful for the distraction and tried to block out the screaming voices in his head and leaned into Liam’s warm soothing voice. That’s when Liam found out about Theo’s sister and his self harming. 

 

He thought Liam would be disgusted, pith him, and leave him but none of that. Liam looked at him with sadness and affection as he comforted Theo when he told him how he’s the reason his sister, Tara died. His sister went out looking for him, tripped and fell in the frozen lake. It was his fault she died and his dad made sure he was reminded everyday of it, it was wedged into his head and stayed there for the rest of his life. Liam held him as Theo explained and it felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders and even though there was a small pang of doubt and self loathing from telling him, there was also relief and it’s like taking a deep breath of fresh air. Liam didn’t speak about it after and Theo was glad considering he doesn’t want to bring it up now. He was also glad Liam understood he needs his space about the situation and doesn’t ask about it.

 

“Theo! Are the cupcakes ready?” Nolan calls out.

Theo snaps out of his thoughts and quickly checks the oven making sure his black licorice and dark chocolate cupcakes are ready. “Ten minutes!” He calls back out.

“Alright, hurry! People actually want them and we are all sold out,” Nolan scoffs.

Nolan always hated black licorice and spit out the cupcake the first time he tried it while Liam practically devoured his. He knew he had to add it to his Halloween specials along with his pumpkin shaped pumpkin flavored cookies. He also added pumpkin spice latte and hot dark and milk chocolate which had a line of customers wanting more. He always loved holidays just because he likes to add new things and new flavors, but hated some still such as Christmas and Easter. He never cared for those and never celebrated them, not even with his parents. They used to when Tara was alive, but now they just remind him of the pain and anger his parents were in and the disgusted looks his father gave to him and the added pain extra special for him on holidays, he grimaces at that thought. 

 

He ignores his thoughts and continues to make two batches of a dozen cupcakes and three batches of a dozen cookies. He quickly hands one batch each to Nolan and forces him to go on a break to take his medicine and food. “I swear one of these days, you and Liam are going to adopt me. You practically already did,” Nolan teases.

Theo stares blankly at him, “fuck off, Liam and I wouldn’t adopt you, you’re over 18”.

“That’s true, I’d just call you mom and dad,” he jokes.

“Liam is the mom,” Theo smirks.

“I always saw you as the mom,” Nolan jokes.

“Yeah, Theo would be the mom,” Tracy comments as she walks past them to make a coffee for the customer.

“How am I the mom? I’m definitely the dad,” Theo scoffs.

“Moms are always there for the sons and take care of them. They’re the ones who baby the child,” Tracy explains.

Theo scoffs at that, “yeah not all moms are like that”

“You know one that isn’t like that?” Tracy asks

Theo rolls his eyes and looks down as he unties his apron, “yeah I know one”.

Tracy doesn’t comment at that and goes back to making the drinks, oblivious to Theo’s sour mood. Nolan looks at him with concern and suspicion.

“You okay, man? Need a break?” Nolan asks.

“Yeah I’m good, you go on your break. Medicine. Food. Now,” Theo points out. 

“Yeah yeah, mom” 

Theo chuckles and shakes his head. 

 

* * *

 

“Alright alright, I need your help,” Liam calls out.

“With what?” Mason replies.

“What should Theo and I go for Halloween? Like should we do the whole matching couple thing cliche shit? Or wear whatever the hell we want or not dress up at all?” Liam blabs on.

Mason groans, “dude we have been going over this for days, weeks even. Go as whatever the hell you want or at least talk to him about it,” Mason grabs the bowl of chips and munchies, “now hurry up, I want to watch this fucking movie. It’ll be over by the time you get here,” Mason scoffs.

Liam groans from his room and stomps out looking pouty and frustrated. He sits next to Mason and steals his bowl, ignoring Mason’s protest and stuffs his face with chips. 

“Where’s Corey?” Liam asks with his mouth full.

“Stop being disgusting and he’s still working at the bakery. He won’t be back till 6,” Mason shrugs. 

“Aw you miss your boyfriend?” Liam teases.

“Almost as much as you miss yours,” Mason teases back. 

“Fuck you” 

Liam did miss Theo a lot as he always did when he doesn’t see him for a few days. He hasn’t seen him for two days and already wants to see him again and won’t get to till tomorrow where they can talk about the Halloween party Scott invited them to. He remembers the last time he saw Theo, he was holding him close and whispering comfort words in his hair as he held him close and ran his hand through his hair. His heart clenched thinking of Theo looking so vulnerable and sad. He doesn’t like seeing Theo like that because he deserves so much more, so much better. Theo deserves love and appreciation and all things good. 

 

“Hey man, you good?” Liam snaps out of it and sees mason looking at him with concern. 

“Yeah,” he lies, “I’m just thinking about what Theo and I should dress up as for the party”

Mason nods, not fully believing him, “Are you guys going to do that whole cliche couple costumes” 

“Like you and Corey? I don’t think so. I want us to sort of match, but I also want our costumes to be scary” 

Mason nods and plays the horror movie, ‘Friday the 13th’, it was their tradition. The four days before Halloween and sometimes during Halloween is spent watching the whole series of ‘Friday the 13th’, ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’, ‘The Nightmare on Elm Street’, and ‘Halloween’. They stay up all night and some during the day while stuffing their faces with snacks and making sure to watch in the dark to make it more ominous and scary. As Liam watched Jason murder another victim, he came up with an idea. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god,” Liam says.

“What?” Mason looks at him for a second before pausing the film.

“I got it,” he laughs, “I know what to wear for the party”

“What?” Mason asks, curious.

“You’ll see,” Liam smirks and texts Theo his plan.

He jumps off the couch and hurries to grab his keys, “pause and don’t finish without me, I’ll be back in an hour. If I find out you watched without me, I’ll kill you” 

Mason waves him off and Liam hurried to his car. He gets a text from Theo as he starts to the car. 

 

T: you’re a genius. I’m going after work (4:56PM) 

 

Liam smiles to himself as he drives away with a smile and a idea. 

 

* * *

 

Theo looks around as the music blares through the speakers and holds tight to his chainsaw. It’s somewhat fake to the point where it doesn’t have the spikes to kill someone but he can turn it on enough to make the noise and freak people out. He chuckles to himself as he remembers running in and chasing Stiles with it as Stiles ran crying for Derek and Lydia to save him. Lydia and Derek just chuckled softly as Scott was recording and laughing till his stomach hurt. He walked around and looked at the snacks and treats they are serving. He thinks it’s creative and clever of Scott to make eyeball cake pops, bloody red punch, and his treats and snacks were also served. 

 

He was already introduced to Lydia and Derek by Stiles after the chasing was done and found out they were all in a relationship. He finally met the two that made Stiles a nervous wreck and come out as bisexual. Polyamorous is what they said and honestly Theo could see why they were all in it. Lydia and Derek clearly loved Stiles and he clearly loved them. He thought it was sweet and great how they all worked it out since it’s hard to manage one relationship with one person let alone two people. He remembers Lydia and how in love and whipped Stiles was back then and he remembers seeing Stiles making out with Derek a few years ago. He guessed they’ve all been together for a while and wonders how a relationship like that worked and asked them how they make it work. 

“It’s tough some days honestly. It’s all new for us even though it’s been what? Three years?” Stiles looked at Lydia as she nodded in confirmation. 

“Yeah, we make it work. It takes a lot of commitment and trust and love, but we manage,” Lydia smiled

Theo smiled back, “happy for you man, you managed to get the girl who you’ve been in love with and this good looking man who is out of your league,” Theo teased.

“Hey!” Stiles scoffed and Derek smirked.

“Damn right,” Derek agreed as Stiles pouted at them. 

“You guys suck,” Stiles huffed

“Aw poor baby,” Lydia interlaced their hands and kissed Stiles’s cheek.

 

Now he was here watching the crowd and spotted Scott dancing with some guy, he’s guessing is Isaac as they kiss. Scott is wearing a werewolf costume while his boyfriend, Isaac, is wearing the same. He guesses that’s Scott’s boyfriend and turns away to spot Malia and Kira dancing rather seductively as a small crowd forms around them, watching them. Malia is not wearing a costume while Kira is dressed as a cat. Simple and cute, Theo hums. He looks at the time seeing Liam is almost an hour late and starts to worry he isn’t coming. He already promised himself he’s not drinking above a cup tonight or any other night. Alcohol brings back bad memories, but he makes sure to set himself a limit. 

“Leatherface!” Theo turns and sees Nolan and Tracy smiling wide walking up to him.

He sees Nolan’s costume is Cosmo while Tracy is Wanda and laughs at that. “Aw you guys are so cute,” he coos.

Nolan smirks and winks, “I know we are sexy”

“We are, by the way Theo, you look absolutely ravishing this evening. Much better with the costume then without,” Tracy teases. 

“Shut up, I look good in anything,” Theo smirks. 

“You look much more handsome with the costume, maybe you should always dress like this,” Nolan runs his hand through Theo’s messy hair of a wig. 

Theo glares and smacks his hand away, “this chainsaw is real, I will use it” 

“It has no spikes, it’s useless,” Tracy comments while touching it. 

“That’s true but I can still chase you with it, you should’ve seen Stiles. I thought he was going to pass out from how scared he was,” Theo chuckles. 

“Yeah, Scott showed us the video. Poor guy, Lydia and Derek had to comfort him for at least 20 minutes after that,” Nolan giggles. 

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Tracy looks around.

“He said he’s going to be a little late because he wants his costume to be perfect. Also Corey and Mason need to get their costume ready,” Theo checks his phone to see if he got any incoming messages. 

None.

“Hey bitches!” Theo turns to see Hayden and Gwen walking up to them, hand in hand.

“Hey wait, what are you dressed up as?” 

They roll their eyes, “I’m Mal,” Hayden says.

“I’m Evie from the movie Descendants,” Gwen smiles. 

Hayden has her hair temporarily dyed purple with a purple and green outfit while Gwen has her hair temporarily dyed blue and wearing a blue outfit. 

“Oh that’s cute,” Tracy gushes. 

“Thank you,” Gwen smiles, “I love your guys’ outfits as well. Very cute and adorable”

“And Theo,” Hayden looks up and down at Theo’s costume, “I love your costume. It’s so fitting and you look much better with it on” 

Theo groans, “everyone keeps saying that. I swear Stiles first, then these fairy freaks, and now you” 

“You’re Leatherface! It’s the best costume I’ve seen yet,” Hayden compliments.

“You should see Liam’s if he ever shows up,” Theo grimaces. 

“What is he going as?” Gwen asks.

Theo shrugs, “he told me not to tell anyone. It’s a surprise”

“How are you guys going as matching? Is he going to be your victim?” Nolan asks. 

“Yeah Theo, are you going to eat Liam?” Tracy jokes.

“He eats him alright, but not in the way Leatherface usually does,” Nolan teases.

“You’re disgusting,” Theo scoffs.

“I second that,” Hayden scrunches her nose. 

“Let’s go, Cosmo. You’re getting more idiotic by the second,” Tracy grabs Nolan’s hand and heads to the dance floor. 

Theo puts his hand under his mask and fixes it a bit making sure his costume looks good. “How long did it take you to find your whole costume?” Hayden asks.

“Two days, I had to find the mask and outfit in one store and then the chainsaw was pretty tough since there aren’t chainsaws lying around the costume store,” Theo explains. 

Hayden and Gwen nod and look around to the front entrance. Hayden smirks while Gwen smiles wide, Hayden grabs Gwen’s hand, “well we are going to go dance and then stuff our faces with your delicious snacks, bye Leatherface!”

Hayden drags Gwen to the dance floor next to Malia and Kira and start dancing to the beat of the music. He shakes his head smiling and looks around. He spots Mason and Corey dressed as Beast boy and the Flash and has to give kudos to that. He didn’t think they’d dress up as that and he has to say he’s impressed especially since Corey is fully green with the whole costume down to even the shoes while Mason looks pretty good dressed in the Flash’s costume and even has the eye mask on. They spot him and smile wide, waving. He is confused on why they’re smiling so wide but waves back. He tenses when he feels arms around his waist then relaxes when he feels Liam’s voice in his ear, “hello Leatherface,” Liam snickers. 

Theo rolls his eyes and pulls away, turning around and smirking at Liam’s costume. He’s dressed up as Jason Voorhees complete with the machete and ski mask. “You look attractive, Liam. Very fitting,” Theo teases.

“You, too Leatherface. You look better like this than without”

Theo groans, “everyone keeps saying that. Maybe I should keep this costume on all the time,” he jokes.

“You should, you look better”

“Asshole”

“Dick” 

“At least we know who tops and bottoms now,” they turn to see Stiles and Malia smirking at them.

Even wearing the mask, Theo can tell Liam is blushing, “hey guys”

“Hey Liam, looking good as ever,” Malia smirks.

“Always,” Theo comments.

“So you guys went as Leatherface and Jason? You guys are twisted. I love it and it’s clever but twisted,” Stiles comments 

Theo wraps his arm around Liam’s waist and pulls him close, “That’s us, he does the killing and I do the eating. Sometimes we both kill, but that depends on our mood” 

“You guys are sick. Sick sick sick,” Stiles shakes his head. 

“I think it’s sweet, couple goals,” Malia teases

“See? She gets it,” Theo presses his mask against Liam’s. 

“I can’t kiss you so I’m just going to do this,” Theo whispers. 

Liam chuckles and interlaces their hands together. Stiles rolls his eyes and grabs a plate, filling it up with a bunch of cookies, cupcakes, and brownies. Malia looks at him in distaste. Stiles shrugs, “what? I’m feeding three people including myself. We are fatasses and love sugary sweets”

“I didn’t say anything,” she shrugs, “I’m going to go look for Kira and dance a little more,” and she wanders off.

Stiles stuffs two cookies in his mouth and chokes a bit, waving them off and going to Lydia and Derek. 

“I can’t believe I used to love that idiot,” Theo shakes his head as they watch Stiles trying to balance two plates of piles and piles of sweets. 

Liam tenses for a second and wraps his arm around Theo’s waist, “Yeah,” he whispers.

“I used to love him, I don’t anymore. I’m with you now,” Theo takes off his and Liam’s mask and kisses Liam’s cheek before putting the mask back on.

“I know I know. It’s still weird sometimes when I think about it” 

“You think about it?” Theo asks.

“Well sometimes,” Liam shrugs, “but I don’t get jealous as I used to. It just gets weird sometimes, but it’s whatever now”

“Hey, if it bothers you, tell me alright? I won’t mention Stiles anymore and if you want, I won’t hang out with him,” Theo shrugs.

He doesn’t want to make Liam uncomfortable by hanging out with Stiles. He knows Liam already gets jealous of Nolan at times and he doesn’t want Liam to get uncomfortable even more.

“No babe, I trust you and I trust Stiles. I know you guys don’t have feelings for each other at all except friendship wise. He loves Lydia and Derek and I know you love me and don’t feel the same about Stiles as you did all those years ago,” Liam says and hugs Theo close. 

“Who said I love you?” Theo teases.

“You did this morning, I have proof,” Liam teases.

“You have nothing”

“Oh yeah?” 

Theo nods and adjusts his chainsaw on the other hand while Liam takes his phone out, taking his mask off. “Look,” Liam shoves his phone in Theo’s face. 

Theo looks at the message. 

 

T: good morning, sunshine. Have a good day and I love you, too (5:44AM) 

 

He remembers when Liam told him for the first time that he loves him, it happened a month ago and it took Theo three weeks before he had the courage to say it back. He loves Liam, he truly does but it was hard for him to say those words and not panic about it. He’s glad to say he’s making progress with all of this. 

“What were you doing up at 4AM by the way?” Theo asks.

Liam shrugs, “woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep”.

Theo nods and lets go of Liam’s hand, “I’m going to grab a few snacks and then go scare some people, would you like to join?” 

Liam nods his head and smiles wide, putting his mask back on, “Hell yeah,” he quickly takes Theo’s mask off and softly kisses him. 

“Alright Jason,” Theo quickly stuffs his face with an eyeball pop and a few strawberries and fixes both their masks, “let’s go scare the crap out of some poor helpless victims” 

 

Liam and Theo clink their chainsaw and machete together and start to scare some people starting with Stiles who hides behind Derek and Lydia. Lydia sighs and grabs Derek’s hand pulling him away from Stiles who runs away leaving Theo and Liam to laugh. 

They continue to scare a few though it doesn’t work on Malia and Kira so they don’t bother. They scare Mason and Isaac while Scott records the whole thing, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. They ended up spending the night dancing, eating, and scaring people who were freaked out by their costumes. Theo even got to turn on his chainsaw almost making Stiles pee himself and Nolan ran for protection from Tracy who just shoved him off while drinking her beer. Liam drinks a few beers making him tipsy and drunk and endlessly flirts with Theo. Theo shakes his head and smirks at Liam’s poor attempts at flirting.

“Are you single?” Liam slurs his words.

“Nope, I have a boyfriend,” Theo smirks.

Liam pouts and starts to tear up causing Theo to widen his eyes and stifle his laugh, “Liam you’re my boyfriend, dumbass”

Liam sobers up immediately, “oh,” he smiles wide, “I’m lucky you’re fucking hot even with that horrible costume”

“Gee thanks, you know how to make a guy feel special”.

“I know I do, it’s how I got you,” he slurs out and almost falls on his face before Theo catches him.

“Alright, let’s go get you some water huh?” Theo says and pulls Liam to the drinks.

“No no I want-I want more beer. Yup, beer and and sex. Do we have sex Theo?” Liam asks.

Theo blushes, “yes Liam, come on we are sobering you up”.

Liam pouts and presses his face against Theo’s neck, mask already came off and in Theo’s hand. 

“I want food. Lots and lots of food,” Liam mumbles in Theo’s neck. 

“We will get you food after you drink these two water bottles. Deal?”

Liam smiles and nods his head, “Yeah yeah water I can do that,” and starts to gulp down the water as fast as he could, choking a few times.

“Easy there, don’t want to choke,” Theo chuckles.

Liam nods, “Yeah if I choke, I’ll die and if I die I can’t eat the snacks”.

Theo rolls his eyes, “Yeah that’s it, buddy”.

“Stop calling me buddy. I’m not your ‘buddy’, we are boyfriends and have sex. We are nowhere close to being just buddies,” Liam points out.

“I didn’t mean that...you know what never mind, just drink your fucking water,” Theo says and watches and makes sure he drinks both. 

 

At the end of the night around 3AM is when people started leaving to their homes and waved bye to Scott and thanked him for throwing an awesome party. Theo took off his mask by then and kept it on his head while slowly kissing Liam who dropped his machete to wrap his arms around Theo’s neck.

“Aw this would be so cute if you guys didn’t have fake blood and cuter costumes,” Isaac says.

“What are you talking about? We are cute,” Liam says with red stained bitten lips. 

“Very cute,” Theo says and bites Liam’s cheek softly.

“Ouch, maybe you are a cannibal,” Liam gasps in shock. 

“Maybe,” Theo places his head in the crook of Liam’s neck.

“I have a cannibal of a boyfriend that explains why you badly wanted to go as Leatherface. You showed your true colors,” Liam runs his hand through Theo’s hair careful of the mask.

“You caught me, sweetheart,” Theo kisses his neck.

“Alright murder husbands, help clean up,” Stiles grumbles and hands them a broom and trash bags. 

“Normal hot boyfriends by day, murder bloody boyfriends by night,” Theo says as he starts to sweep the floor.

“Yes! We are a normal looking couple who do the usual shit ya know hold hands and kiss, but by night we murder you in cold blood and slaughter you and your family,” Liam laughs evilly as he picks up the trash from the floor into the trash bag.

“You guys are scary,” Isaac comments. 

“Very,” Scott agrees and shoves a trash bag in Isaac’s hands, “clean babe”.

Isaac groans and pecks Scott’s lips before helping Liam. Stiles snickers and starts to clean the food tables and the walls, “How the fuck do you get beer on the walls? That’s disgusting, people should learn to not throw drinks”.

“They know not to, they just do it because they’re drunk and stupid,” Theo comments.

“Very stupid,” Liam agrees.

Stiles groans as he continues while Malia and Kira sneakily leave before Scott forces them to stay and work. Theo watches them go and snickers when they accidentally knock over some cups, but rush out when Scott looks at them. Liam looks at Theo with a soft smile and gets back to picking up garbage. 

 

* * *

 

By the time they were done cleaning up, it was 5AM and they were so fucking exhausted Liam drowned himself in monster energy drinks and coffee. Theo was used to staying up all night so one cup of coffee did him good for the rest of the night. Stiles was on the floor practically drooling while Derek tried to lift him and gave up ages ago letting him sleep on the floor. Scott and Isaac were still awake finishing up the cleaning and talking quietly. Hayden and Gwen left thirty minutes after cleaning the food and taking most of the leftovers, practically drooling over the cookies. 

“Let’s go sleep, I’m tired and I’m going to pass out on this dirty floor if we don’t go now,” Liam mumbles and rubs his eyes.

Theo softly smiles at Liam’s sleepy dopey expression, his messy hair, droopy sleepy eyes, and dopey smile made Theo want to cuddle with Liam right now because sleepy Liam is an adorable sight and one Theo will never get sick of seeing. 

“Alright sleeping beauty, lets go,” Theo wraps his arm around Liam and holds his machete with the other along with the chainsaw. 

Theo thanks Scott and Isaac for the party and takes a photo of drooling Stiles on the floor as blackmail for later. He gently puts Liam in the passenger seat and buckles his seatbelt for him.

“Thank you, Theo, Theo you are the best,” Liam softly smiles and tries to kiss Theo, kissing entirely and instead kissing his eye. 

“Alright sleeping beauty, just get your rest. I’ll tell you when we get home,” Theo chuckles. 

Liam nods and snuggles to the seat and passes out. 

Theo quickly drives over to Liam’s ace and guesses Mason and Corey are already in bed since they left an hour ago, sneaking out and driving away fast leaving Liam to get a ride with Theo. Theo unbuckles and tries to get Liam to wake up. “Liam wake up, you’re home come on,” Theo whispers.

Liam mumbles, “no, leave me alone”.

Theo rolls his eyes and exits the car opening Liam’s door and carrying Liam bridal style. Liam slowly opens his eyes, blinking rapidly and smiling, “You’re my prince in shining armor”.

“I think you mean knight,” Theo smirks.

Liam shakes his head and wraps his arms around Theo’s neck, “no prince, you’re too pretty to be a knight. Too...too pretty,” he whispers and passes out again. 

Theo shakes his head ignoring the blush and opens Liam’s apartment. He goes to Liam’s room and gently places him on his bed, stripping him of his clothes till he’s in his boxers with permission, of course, and tucks him in and softly ruffles his hair. 

“Goodnight or good morning actually, sunshine,” he kisses his forehead.

Liam softly smiles and Theo slowly turns to leave when he leaves Liam grab his wrist. He turns to see Liam looking at him through his heavy lidded eyes, “where are you going bub?” He mumbles.

Theo tilts his head at the nickname, “Home”.

Liam shakes his head and starts to mumble incoherent things, “sunshine baby, I don’t know what you’re saying”.

Liam groans and pulls Theo toward him and on the bed, “oof,” Theo groans out as he falls on top of Liam. 

Liam sleepily smiles and wraps his arms around Theo, “warm, sleep here,” Liam mumbles into Theo’s hair.

Theo laughs and pulls himself off causing Liam to whine, “hang on, I gotta take my clothes off. It’ll be uncomfortable”. 

Liam nods and Theo strips to his boxers and gets on the bed, shifting closer to Liam’s side and wrapping his arms around Liam’s waist. Liam smiles and comes closer till he’s chest to chest with Theo and places his head in the crook of Theo’s neck. “Better,” he mumbles and places his hand on Theo’s chest and the other around Theo’s waist. Theo smiles and pulls Liam closer and kisses his temple, “goodnight sunshine,” he smiles.

“Good morning babe,” Liam mumbles and both fall asleep after that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING!! I LOVE YOU ALL. I'll be honest, I ship Sterek and Stydia and couldn't choose who to end up with Stiles. So I just did both because why not?? Besides I did do my research on poly in case so yeah.
> 
> I’m already working on the next chapter and dm it takes time it’s because it’s real long and I’m hoping to post it soon before Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> There will be timestamps after. random dates, past and present and future. We'll see Theo and Nolan's first kiss (which is so cute), first meeting, first therapy session. We will see Josh and Theo how they came to be. Hayden and Gwen meeting Theo finally. Theo and Liam's first kiss, first date, first everything. Theo's horrible past. His nightmares and Liam being his anchor. We will see all this and I will be sure to put trigger warnings to warn you all of course. Love you all.  
> I'll specify the times and dates of the chapters so you won't get confused and do a short summary so you also won't get confused.  
> I always felt like Theo would be into classic rock or basically rock in general based on the way he is and the fact that in teen wolf he was with the dread doctors so he didn't really update his music choice. Liam seems like the kind to like whatever he likes but there's some bands or artists he likes the most and listens to more often than others  
> Tumblr: rebelwithheartofgold.tumblr.com


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